Vampire Weekend's Surprising Jewish Stories
6 min read
If you give away the milk for free, there is no reason to buy the cow.
Aleeza meets with Nakysha, a mixed race woman whose late father was Black. She’s never dated a Jewish man before. Shaya seeks advice from his Rabbi because Fay seems more observant than he is. Noah’s date with a new prospect goes really well.
Nakysha is a 27-year-old living in Kansas and she feels like a unicorn. People often ask her in shock, “How are you Jewish?” She answers, “Well, when a Jewish Mommy loves a Daddy, here I am.” She feels like an old soul, even though she looks young. In the past, she allowed men to take advantage of her. Now, she is turning over a new leaf and will not tolerate that kind of behavior anymore.
Aleeza meets with Nakysha and Julie, her mother, to discuss what Nakysha is looking for.
Fun facts about Nakysha
Criteria
Aleeza has a guy in mind for Nakysha who’s not from Kansas City. He is a teacher and is personable and communicative. Two drawbacks are that he unfortunately is bald and is 38, two nonstarters for Nakysha.
Aleeza shares that she and her husband are 10.5 years apart. She appreciates that he is mature, and encourages Nakysha to date someone who is ready to start a life. “If it’s a no, it’s a no, but if you are in between, give it a chance.”
Nakysha thinks about it for a moment and agrees, “All right. That's fair. Open to it.”
The last scene depicts a snapshot of the date. Nakysha’s face looks somewhat uncomfortable, and the episode ends on a cliffhanger for her.
Aleeza expresses that she hopes that Shaya and Fay will have a little more heart and soul connection, going deeper than their immediate spark.
They go on a second date, this time for ice cream. They have a great time and talk about their pet peeves. Fay hates when guys drive horribly and calls those a “one and done.”
Later, when Shaya’s mother calls during the date, he wittingly jokes that his date is a “one and done.” (Even though it was their second date.)
Fay expresses that she enjoyed his company and laughed until her abs hurt (because she had worked out earlier in the day). She wants to explore things further and see if he fits her religious standards. For example, does he pray three times a day?
Shaya states that he does not consider himself a “learning” boy, someone who will learn Torah frequently and regularly. He likes to work and wants someone who matches his own religious level or higher.
Shaya meets with Rabbi Cohen to review his date with Fay. “She is so easy to talk to, she is fun, but I’m confused.”
When Shaya dropped her off, she went to pray the evening service. Shaya himself doesn’t always pray in synagogue. “I’m not there yet. She’s already there.”
The thought that she might be more devout than him is disturbing because he fears she will not respect him.
Rabbi Cohen encourages Shaya to “marry up” spiritually. He plays down Shaya’s concern that Fay is overly religious; he stresses that how often one prays is only one aspect of religious observance. “That’s not going to stop a successful marriage.”
Shaya is still worried that she might look down on him. Shaya wants to be accepted for who he is, and not feel like he has to walk on eggshells in front of his spouse. “I also do not want to be a bad influence on her. I want her to feel proud of me and accept and appreciate me.”
Shaya and Fay go out again on a third date, off-camera. Afterwards, Fay has a FaceTime call with Aleeza to discuss her third date with Shaya. She expresses that they have an electric chemistry. “He’s super fun and sweet and is a real gentleman.”
However, Fay does not believe that their religious values are entirely aligned, and therefore they mutually end the relationship. Fay says, “The sooner we realize that the religious values are not the same, the sooner we can put it to rest.”
Noah meets Ophir and they have many religious similarities. They both grew up more observant, and over time became “Flexidox.”
Ophir’s mother is Israeli, and most of her family still lives in Israel, which seems like a plus for Noah. She expresses her love of travel and how she longs to give the gift of travel to her children. Noah shares that he lived in Jerusalem for six years and grew up “ultra-Orthodox.”
Noah reveals that he has a son who lives in Israel, and recently had a Bar Mitzvah. He also explains why his first marriage ended in divorce.
Ophir finds Noah sweet and is open to having a blended family. Noah thinks Ophir is outgoing and confident, and that they match up well.
1. Shomer Negiah, refraining from touch, isn’t just for the Orthodox. Aleeza again stresses that the concept of refraining from physical touch before marriage is something that can benefit anyone. The focus becomes about how the other person touches your heart, rather than how they touch your body.
2. If it’s a no, say no. But if you’re in between, give it a chance. You never know—the date you are on the fence about could end up being the love of your life!
3. If you give away the milk for free, there is no reason to buy the cow. The beginning of the episode shared this nugget of age-old wisdom. By maintaining some mystery in the relationship, it will leave your partner always wanting more, rather than feeling like you have laid everything out on the table and there is nothing new left to discover.
Click here to meet Aleeza Ben Shalom in Sarah Pachter's interview with the star of Jewish Matchmaking. Watch as they review dating tips and discuss the Netflix series.
Click here for the recap of Episode 1
Click here for the recap of Episode 2
Click here for the recap of Episode 3
Click here for the recap of Episode 4
Click here for the recap of Episode 5
