Vampire Weekend's Surprising Jewish Stories
9 min read
Will Ori get over his obsession with looks?
This episode of Jewish Matchmaking follows Cindy, Dani, Ori, and Harmonie on their individual dating journeys. Ori’s friends encourage him to be more flexible with his expectations. Dani reviews her date with Aleeza over Facetime. Harmonie tells Aleeza that she wants another prospect. Cindy goes out on a new date, but he’s late and might not show. Noah, a man from Wyoming, is introduced.
The episode opens up in Tel Aviv, where Cindy meets Daniel for the first time. Daniel is nervous and seems awkward, often unsure of what to say. They go to an art gallery but Daniel isn’t a fan of art. He doesn’t see much depth or connect to the works of art.
Cindy sees more than meets the eye when she admires a piece of modern art. He simply replies, “Oh, I just see a painting.”
Cindy explains, “We each see what we want to see.” (How true of life!)
Daniel is not the type of guy Cindy would usually date, but she thought he was more attractive than the original photo Aleeza presented to her. Cindy finds herself comparing each guy she goes out with to her ex-boyfriend. She wants to match her past experience, or exceed it. Cindy isn’t overly enthralled, but both she and Daniel agree to go out again.
Cindy’s concern is that Daniel is from Tel Aviv. She explained that city boys have a reputation for not wanting to settle down. She’s surprised that Daniel is interested in marriage. Daniel and Cindy discover that they both wear necklaces given to them by their grandmothers and connect over this similarity. Cindy decides to try to scare Daniel off by asking him about his marriage timeline and sharing hers.
Turns out, he’s also interested in marriage and seems to be aligned with what she is looking for.
The episode closes with Cindy at a coffee shop, waiting for her date to show up. We watch as her frustration rises. The show ends with her words, “This is just rude at this point.”
Dani reviews her first two dates with Aleeza over FaceTime. She smiles and says, “He calls me all the time, he is a lot of fun, and he is a bit of a joker, just like me!”
Dani has one concern.
“He is overly obsessed with the fact that I look Sephardic [of Middle Eastern descent]. It makes me feel like he wants to be with a Sephardic woman. I am afraid I will never be what he wants.”
Dani wants to be appreciated for who she is.
Aleeza suggests they take a pause from dating each other because Dani is going to Los Angeles for six weeks. Aleeza explains that momentum is an important factor when dating. Their relationship is too new and not strong enough to withstand the stress of dating long-distance.
Aleeza sets her up with Shaun, who she says is a male version of Dani; outgoing and personable. Dani is attracted to him, and especially loves his luscious hair. Even though she likes his impressive eyebrows, she still thinks hers are better.
Dani and Shaun go out for ice cream and play Jewish geography of friends in Johannesburg. Shaun currently lives in Hawaii and Dani dreams of visiting.
Ori goes out with friends and they review his date with Adi. He is not “into her” and does not feel the “click” that he has been looking for.
He asks his friends if there is something he needs to change, and they encourage him to re-examine his expectations and look critically at his “list.”
Ori is very selective with looks and is unwilling to compromise on that aspect. “I want to feel like she is the most beautiful girl.”
One friend reminds him that inner beauty can reflect external beauty. They explain to Ori that if he would allow himself to get to know a woman, her inside character could potentially affect how he perceives her external attributes.
Ori’s friend points out, “You have this whole list of expectations, but you have to think about what will she expect from you?” They encourage him to widen his window and be more flexible with what he thinks he needs.
The advice does not penetrate. When Ori speaks to Aleeza, he nixes Adi and reiterates how important light eyes and blonde hair are to him. He strongly feels eyes are a window to connection, and will not consider someone who does not have light eyes (even though his are dark!) He also reiterates that a prospect that is proposed to him must speak Hebrew.
Aleeza shows him pictures of a few candidates and he turns them down within seconds. Finally, she presents a picture of a beautiful blonde. Ori’s eyes light up, and he’s ready to go.
Aleeza takes the opportunity to give Ori some dating advice. “I know looks are big on the list, but my main concern is, what are you going to talk about? You need to show up as someone who is curious. You must be genuinely interested in her. Be into her more than you are into you in that moment.”
Ori realizes after speaking with Aleeza that dating is not about being self-centered, and he needs to make some internal changes if his dating is to be successful.
Aleeza meets with Harmonie and her mother. Harmonie explains that even though Aron had a lot of good qualities and was a great conversationalist, the chemistry just was not there. Harmonie needs more passion.
Harmonie’s mother gets emotional as she explains how much she wants her daughter to experience what it is to have a child. “We are so very, very close, and I would want her to experience that with her child. Life is not the same without a child. I want that for her.”
Harmonie admits she was never really ready to get married until now.
While sitting with Harmonie and her mother at a restaurant, Aleeza asks the waiter if he knows anyone for Harmonie. Although unconventional, she is confident in asking this. She believes in a lesson her mother taught her: open your mouth, and the world gets smaller.
Even though Aleeza is the official matchmaker, she believes that it does not have to be her that makes the match. She does not have to be the conduit; it can come from anywhere, and you never know.
She reiterated the importance of never giving up. If you want to find your person, you cannot care about where the suggestion comes from.
Noah is a Financial Advisor living in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. He loves the great outdoors and works from home. His religious life has been a pendulum, but has found a balance in “Flexidox,” a flexible form of Orthodoxy where he keeps a kosher home and a spiritual connection to Shabbat, but not all the laws pertaining to it. He is divorced, and because of it has some fears of trusting someone enough to embark on a new relationship.
Fun facts about Noah:
Noah’s criteria:
Aleeza takes great notes and will hopefully present Noah with someone suitable soon. Yalla! Let’s make it happen for him.
Click here to meet Aleeza Ben Shalom in Sarah Pachter's interview with the star of Jewish Matchmaking. Watch as they review dating tips and discuss the Netflix series.
Click here for the recap of Episode 1
Click here for the recap of Episode 2
