Vampire Weekend's Surprising Jewish Stories
6 min read
Recapping the highs and lows and valuable dating wisdom from the new Netflix series.
Netflix’s series Jewish Matchmaking has just debuted and we’re going to be following Aleeza Ben Shalom, the show's host and matchmaker, as she strives to find soulmates for a group of young Jews. Spoilers ahead!
Aleeza begins the show with a beautiful explanation of the concept of a soulmate.
“People think soulmate means that there is only one human being in the world for them…But it’s not true. Soulmates are made in heaven, but when we come down in this world we actually have options. The way you make a soulmate in this world is that you get married under the chuppah…In that exact moment that person becomes your soulmate.”
Aleeza notes that she has one of the hardest jobs in the world – helping people to “get over their hurdles and get under the chuppah!” Anyone can stick two people together. The hard part is getting them to stay together for a lifetime.
Throughout Aleeza shares Jewish wisdom regarding dating for the modern world.
She works with many people who are unsure if they believe in God. Aleeza doesn’t think this matters. “I don’t really care. There are the principles of being in a relationship and being in marriage and this is what works.”
The first woman she meets is Dani from Miami. She’s a fun-loving attractive woman, who is big on brows. Dani has a “thing” for good eyebrows hoping she and her ultimate match will be “The Brow Couple!” She even has an Instagram page of photos of just her eyebrows in different places around the world.
Dani desires to be married by 30 but seeks Aleeza’s guidance as she laments that she has no luck in dating. “I am 100 percent myself. Guys love it or hate it. If they love it, they don't love it enough.”
Fun facts about Dani
Dani’s criteria:
Aleeza pairs Dani with David, a 31-year-old who lives in Miami and is 6”1. He’s tall, strong and he works out. Dani is in!
They meet up at a restaurant and she approves his eyebrows right off the bat. They're not an exact match when it comes to their religious level but that doesn’t seem to matter to either of them.
Dani does notice his lack of manners. “He doesn't pour water for me when he pours for himself. Table manners are a huge thing. I noticed it, but I think it’s something that could be taught.”
Next, we meet Ori, an Israeli who lives in LA. He wants to be married in one year's time. He still lives with his parents and has worked as an event planner with his mom for the past eight years. Ori is big on attraction.
Ori says he’s had a lot of first dates only and usually nixes the girl without a second chance. He confidently states, “NO chemistry, NO second date.” But then admits that maybe that's why he is still single.
He uses all the dating apps but nothing has worked. “The algorithms don’t like me.” He shows Aleeza the apps which notes, “We can't find any users near you.”
Fun facts about Ori
Ori’s criteria
Aliza sets him up with Adi, an Israeli girl who moved to America to pursue her dream as an actress. Ori finds her appealing. She is confident and loves horseback riding. They go out to a restaurant followed by horseback riding.
Ori calls her “simple” on their second date and Adi isn't sure what to make of that statement.
By the time the second date is over, Adi is unsure and Ori is out.
Harmonie is a blonde 44-year-old whimsical woman who is feeling the pressure to get married. When meeting Aleeza she giggles and asks Aleeza to save her! She has a young energy but only recently decided she was ready for marriage. Harmonie wants passion and struggles to find someone with substance who can also fulfill her physical needs.
Fun facts about Harmonie
Harmonies’ criteria
Harmonie gets emotional when she talks about the fact that her father, who is wheelchair-bound, won't be able to walk her down the aisle. She cries when she states that her grandmother, who just turned 100, may not be alive to see her married.
“You’re marrying into a family.”
Whether we like it or not, the person we marry comes with a whole slew of other people called family. Learn who they are because you are marrying them as well.
When in doubt go out.
In other words: Date him ‘till you hate him.
Aleeza believes that if it’s not a definite no, then it deserves putting in the effort. “We can’t just kick up our feet. With effort comes reward and you have to work.”
No more analysis paralysis.
Sometimes we get so caught up in analyzing whether he is right for me or if he is “the one!” “Our head starts to spin out, and our heart starts to feel different things and it usually lands them in confusion. They don’t know what to do with themselves. I guide people through this step by step.”
Stay tuned for episode 2 recaps and lessons!
Click here to meet Aleeza Ben Shalom in Sarah Pachter's interview with the star of Jewish Matchmaking. Watch as they review dating tips and discuss the Netflix series.
