Why I’m a 40+ Year Old Virgin

not to wax too poetically, but
maintaining one's virginity is like not losing the key
to one's safe deposit box, one's inner soul, one's generational link from past thousands of generations to future ones which is all in your hands. You should have great success in finding your match who will appreciate everything you represent and will forge a wonderous relationship in the future.
lot's of bracha and hazlacha!

My son is also a 40+ year-old virgin. How about a shidduch?! I'm joking. Seriously, my son would probably kill me if he saw this post. I still would love to make a connection between the two of you, even if it would have to be a long distance one.

Too bad you don't live in Houston. It's a great place to live! We have a large Jewish community. We are the most diverse city in the U.S. Last but not least, we have more start-ups here than anywhere else in the U.S., and the majority are by women.

I'm a writer and the publisher of Small Business Today Magazine and my son has a media production company.

I was a virgin when I got married and have always had a strong sense of self-worth. A relationship needs to be based on friendship first to have a solid, long-lasting marriage.

I am in two minds about your article. On the one hand, the fact that you are only want a marriage relationship is praiseworthy, but perhaps the fact you have never been in a physical relationship was not appropriate to share with the world at large?
You are obviously a very intelligent and eloquent person, and there is surely someone who would value you as a wife, but I think the emphasis placed on the physical aspect of relationships is misleading.
Obviously, it is an obligation on humanity to have children, and it is a physical pleasure, but it is a fleeting pleasure. Immediately afterwards, a man feels a kind of disgust comparable perhaps to that of the glutton after gulping down his meal. The real, lasting pleasures are those we get from our spiritual growth and these you have

I'm so proud of you for waiting. Unfortunately, there are so few men that will respect women to the point of not touching until after marriage. Also, women run around showing off so much more than they should trying to get a man. I too am a man that prefers to wait for marriage. I was married for 32 years till my wife went to heaven. I totally agree with everything you said as it is so true and lines up with God's expectations for His people and His word. May the Lord bless you and keep you. Shalom

Sarah, I appreciate your openness to talk about a subject that effects many people. However, I think you have lost perspective on relationship issues and have lost some ability to self-analyze.

Rather than discuss your "virginness" the more powerful discussion to ask is how an intelligent, successful woman, living in a place (NY) with more observant Jews than anywhere outside of Israel, is still unmarried (and wants to be?) has not found a mate by 40+.

Maybe you have a fear of commitment, of opening yourself up to hurt, or maybe you enjoy your life as it is? Only you have the power to try to understand why you are in the position you are in life and take responsibility for it and try to improve your situation - but only if that is truly your goal.

I'm not surprised that you're a virgin. In fact, and please don't take this the wrong way. I am so proud of you.
I wished I had been stronger when I was younger. I am not a wham, bang thank you ma'am kind of man and move on to my next conquest.
Just because I am a man 61yrs old doesn't mean I jump in bed with the first woman who bats their eyes at me.
I don't just give myself to just anyone. Shalom, shalom.

The Lord bless you for your commitment to Him and His values.

This women deserves a husband, who truly respect and appreciate her dedication and self sacrifice and high quality Jewish worldview.

It’s so good to hear that there are others who seek purity. I’m 51, have had plenty of opportunities and heavy temptation to compromise myself with women in my life, but I don’t consider it a loss to have waited. People could judge all they’d like, but I want to honour G-d and the one person I plan to spend the rest of my life with.

When she says, "The giddy feeling I’d get from a man’s attention often prevented me from truly assessing whether our relationship made sense in practical terms or for a long-term marriage. Fortunately, I’d come to my senses pretty quickly. I knew others who have wasted years on “feeling” good before they figured out that there never was any real compatibility or shared goals," It makes me think she's not really in to marriage. What's that about, wasting years on feeling good?? You don't waste years feeling good, you enjoy them! And, if after many years together, you realize you have some differences, you try to work them out! And you try to stay together for whatever made you feel good. And you look back on those years, grateful to have had them, and hopefully have raised a family.

Stick to your guns and May G-D help you and arrange an answer your heartfelt prayers for the perfect husband match.
Now looking for a wife I know what you're going through - and feel the same way.

You are not alone, Sarah—there are millions that share your value of chastity: many Christians, virtually all Muslims and Hindus, and some Jews. So don’t listen to the secular media that promotes casual sex. Again: you are not alone!