Ki Tavo 5785: Self-Delusion Confusion

GOOD MORNING! This week I’d like to recount few small incidents from the life of Rabbi Kalman Packouz of blessed memory, the founder of this column and my beloved friend. These glimpses into the life of the good rabbi demonstrate not only his kind and gentle nature, but also his innate ability to impart timeless wisdom in a folksy and accessible manner.

Earlier in the book of Deuteronomy Moses instructs the Jewish people that when the Almighty brings them into the Land of Israel, “you shall place the blessing on Mount Gerizim and the curse on Mount Eival” (Deuteronomy 11:29). In this week’s reading, the Torah delves into the exact process: Six of the tribes were to stand on Mount Gerizim to receive the blessings (Simeon, Levi, Judah, Issachar, Joseph, and Benjamin) and six were to stand on Mount Eival to receive the curses (Reuben, Gad, Asher, Zebulon, Dan, and Naftali).

According to Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan these two mountains are found in the area that today is known as Samaria. Mount Gerizim is about one mile west of the city of Shechem (Nablus) and rises to 2849 feet high. Mount Eival is a sister mountain, rising to 3077 feet and is some two miles northeast of Mount Gerizim. Thus, the city of Shechem is located in the valley between Gerizim (to the south) and Eival (to the north).

In this week’s Torah reading we find a list of twelve curses that the priests (who stood between the two mountains) called out to the entire nation. To each curse, the entire nation – the tribes on both mountains – would respond, “Amen.”

According to many Biblical commentaries the twelve curses are unique in that they refer to misdeeds that are committed in secret or privately (see Rabeinu Bachaya, Ibn Ezra, Rashbam, and many others). This idea is typified by the first curse: “Cursed is the person who sculpts or forms an idol, which is repulsive to God your Lord […] and places it in a hidden place. All the nation shall respond and say, ‘Amen’” (Deuteronomy 27:15).

It behooves us to really try to understand the essence of the concept of blessings and curses in general, and why the curses here emphasize misdeeds that are specifically done in private.

Of course, this subject of curses reminds of a joke; one that I have adapted in recognition of the start of the new NFL season this past week, which is taking place as I write this column. Aside from the regular complement of daytime games on Sunday, the NFL broadcasts games on Sunday nights, Monday nights, and Thursday nights (and are now considering a Wednesday night game in 2026) – causing many to redefine the NFL acronym as standing for the “No Family League.”

Bob is really excited for the “kickoff” of NFL season on Thursday night and he settles into the couch after dinner while his wife Sally does something “inconsequential,” like wash the dishes, clean the kitchen, and prepare healthy lunches for the kids to take to school the next day. Naturally, Bob is oblivious.

After about 15 minutes he hears his wife calling from the kitchen, “Hey! Do you feel any sharp pain like from a voodoo curse?”

A little bewildered, Bob answers, “Uhhh, no.”

After five minutes’ silence: “What about now?”

As we have discussed in prior columns, the Almighty created the world with the intention of bestowing good on mankind. The ultimate good is an eternal relationship with the Almighty, which is the essence of the reward of the World to Come. This reward is earned through our good deeds and by following the path that the Almighty has laid out for mankind. God is the source of all good and the connection to Him is what generates the good that flows towards man.

The Hebrew word for blessing is bracha. According to our sages this refers to the “pool – breicha” that we continuously draw from the source of good – the Almighty. When we are connected to that source, we are able to continually benefit from it. Of course, when we are disconnected from the Almighty darkness descends and we experience the opposite – loneliness, pain, and suffering.

The sages in the Talmud (Bava Kama 79b) make a rather startling distinction between a mugger (who steals outright) and a thief (who sneaks into people’s homes at night). The Torah punishes a thief more severely because, according to the Talmud, a thief makes sure to hide his actions because he is only afraid of being seen by people, but is unconcerned with being “seen” by God. He says to himself that God is not present in this world: “They said God will not see” (Psalms 94).

(Yiddish – a brilliant language that often succinctly captures the essence of a concept – calls water a “ganev – thief.” This is because when a roof has a leak the water often travels along the roof trusses, and it is impossible to ascertain where the leak is actually coming from merely by looking at a stained ceiling. The “thief” is hidden.)

Similarly, we find the first being cursed in the Torah was the snake in the Garden of Eden who sought to sneakily disconnect Adam and Eve from the Almighty. Compare this to God’s blessing to Abraham (whose life mission was to bring the awareness of the immanence of God to all of mankind), “I will bless those that bless you [...] and all the families of the earth will be blessed through you” (Genesis 12:3). In other words, through that connection to the presence of the Almighty, all of earth’s inhabitants will be blessed.

This is why the twelve curses in this week’s Torah reading are preoccupied with misdeeds that one does in secret; similar to a thief, it betrays one’s belief that he can exist in a world that is unseen by God. The twelfth and last curse underscores this concept: “Cursed is he that does not uphold and keep this entire Torah […]” (27:26).

This concept of being unseen by God is even more insidious in that it allows us to fall deeper into the rabbit hole of personal self-delusion. Behavioral-ethics studies by Professor Robert A. Prentice show that 75-80% of Americans consider themselves more ethical than others (and about 92% are satisfied with their moral character).

Similarly, in a study published in Acta Psychologica back in the 80’s, researchers asked American drivers to compare themselves to others on the road. 90% believed that they were safer than the average driver. That would be encouraging if it were mathematically possible – not to mention that I GUARANTEE you that the spouses of said drivers were not consulted for their opinions.

This cognitive dissonance – the conflict between how a person sees himself and how he actually behaves – prevents us from true growth. We are not only ignoring God – we are actively sabotaging ourselves. Instead on working on self-improvement and confronting the contradictions in our lives, most people simply alter their perception of themselves.

This is not limited to moral self-assessment. It shows up in how we rationalize almost everything: tardiness, sharp words, overlooked obligations, etc. When we cut corners, we label it “efficiency.” When we are unkind, we call it “brutal honesty.” It is not that we lie outright; we just quietly reinterpret our choices in a way that allows us to maintain our internal narrative – one in which we remain good people who mostly do the right thing. As the saying goes, “The road to self-deception is paved with excellent excuses.”

Not everyone does this. There are some truly unique people who are always focused on finding ways to improve. Rabbi Kalman Packouz was that rare sort of person. He would consistently say to me, “You know me really well. What should I do differently? Please tell me things about myself that I should change.” I am ashamed to say that in the twenty-seven years of weekly Wednesday morning breakfasts I don’t think I even asked him once how I should improve myself.

He was truly special and because of his humble and modest personality he had an enormous impact on others. In the 1970’s and 80’s he lived in the Old City of Jerusalem and the good rabbi had daily opportunities to meet new people and share impromptu rabbinic teachings. One day a tourist stopped him and asked, “Where can I buy a mezuzah?” Rabbi Packouz escorted the man to a nearby shop, where the man picked out a few dozen beautiful mezuzah cases and then went to the checkout to pay.

“These cases are only to protect the scroll inside, what about the scrolls?” asked the good rabbi.

“I don’t need the scrolls,” the man replied. “I’m not that religious.”

Rabbi Packouz responded gently: “We sometimes say, ‘I’m not religious,’ when we really mean, ‘I’m not fully observant.’ Everyone is at least somewhat observant – helping the needy, honoring parents, and living ethically. Judaism is not ‘all or nothing.’ In fact, even the most committed Jew doesn’t always succeed. Each of us is somewhere on the path, hopefully ascending.”

In another instance a student despaired, “I feel like it’s all or nothing! I feel like I either have to do all the commandments or none!” The good rabbi answered with a metaphor: “If you discovered a diamond mine then you’d want to dig up every last one, even if you can’t carry them all at the moment. Judaism wants us to grow in knowledge and observance. Do your best, the Almighty only asks that we do our best.”

Rabbi Packouz was quietly teaching the concepts from this week’s Torah portion in a digestible manner. The idea of hanging a mezuzah is beautiful, but it’s delusional to believe it will be any different from a decorative wall hanging without the scroll. The scroll is what provides the connection with the Almighty. God does see. Just as He saw and cursed the snake for sneakily trying to disconnect Adam and Eve from Him. Moreover, He saw and blessed Abraham’s efforts; so too will He see and bless those of a student striving to grow and observe.

Ki Tavo, Deuteronomy 26:1 - 29:8

This week's portion includes: Bringing to the Temple as an offering the first fruits of the seven species special to the Land of Israel, declaration of tithes, the Almighty designating the Jewish people as His treasured people (Deuteronomy 26:16 - 19), the command to set up in the Jordan River and then on Mount Eival large stones that had the Torah written upon them in 70 languages, the command to have a public ratification of the acceptance of the law from Mount Gerizim and Mount Eival; the Torah then sets forth the blessings for following the law and the curses for not following it, and concludes with Moses’ final discourse. Verse 28:46 tells us the importance of serving the Almighty with “joy and a good heart.” The last verse of the portion instructs us, “You shall fulfill the words of this covenant and do them so that you will succeed in all that you do!”