Click here to buy
Wisdom for Living
Rabbi Noah Weinberg on the Parashah
8 min read
“Hashem appeared to him in the plains of Mamre while he was sitting at the entrance of the tent in the heat of the day. He lifted his eyes and saw: And behold! Three men were standing over him. He perceived, so he ran toward them from the entrance of the tent, and bowed toward the ground.” (Bereishis 18:1-2)
Picture the scene. Avraham is having a prophetic experience, communicating directly with God Himself. He then sees three guests and says to God, “Pardon me, Almighty, I have to go take care of my guests. I’ll be right back.”
Why does Avraham take leave of the Shechinah (Divine Presence), in the midst of experiencing the transcendental, to entertain three nomadic strangers? Imagine that you are hosting the Queen of England and while having a private face-to-face talk with her, you see three strangers passing by. Would you tell the Queen, “I’ll be back in 45 minutes, I need to go whip up dinner for these guests”?
Amazingly, the Talmud (Shabbos 127a) teaches us that Avraham was actually correct in what he did, for "Hachnassas orchim (welcoming guests) is greater than experiencing the Divine Presence.”
How do we understand what the Talmud is saying? If the Creator of the universe, the infinite, all-powerful Source of existence, would appear to you, even an atheist would tell you not to budge! There can be no greater experience than communing with the Divine. So how can welcoming guests possibly trump that?
The answer is clear: Greater than talking to God is emulating Him. The most powerful way to understand and connect to God is by becoming like Him. "Just as Hashem is merciful and compassionate, so, too, you should be merciful and compassionate" (Shabbos 133b). The Almighty is infinite and perfect, which means there is nothing He needs. He does not gain anything from our keeping the mitzvot. His creation is a perfect act of altruism; it is 100% chessed, kindness, aimed at giving us the deepest pleasure and meaning attainable simply because He loves us.
If you want to understand the Almighty's love for you, then you have to become like Him, and one of the essential ways to emulate Him is by doing acts of kindness and loving other human beings. Becoming a giver is really the only way to understand Who Hashem is and what life is all about.
If you want to really appreciate the Almighty, then undertake to be like Him and take care of as many people as you can. Even if you're sick, try to give another human being pleasure. Work at it, make it your priority – and by doing so you will understand just a little bit more what existence is all about.
If you do not change yourself by inculcating Hashem's attributes, you will never fully understand Hashem. He will remain an abstraction. By way of illustration, one of the criteria for appointing a judge to a Sanhedrin, a Jewish court that can judge capital offenses, is that the candidate must be a father of children. Rambam explains that this is necessary “in order to ensure that he will be merciful” (Laws of Sanhedrin 2:3). He may be the greatest Torah scholar in the world, but if he does not have children he cannot sit in judgment, because he cannot fully grasp the reality of Hashem’s compassion for His children. He can be a prophet who communes with the Almighty, but he cannot judge a capital crime. To truly have compassion you must be a father; likewise, to fully understand Hashem you must become like Him.
The Torah goes into great detail when describing Avraham’s chessed:
“Let some water be brought and wash your feet, and recline beneath the tree. I will fetch a morsel of bread that you may sustain yourselves… So Avraham hastened to the tent to Sarah, and said, "Hurry! Three se'ahs of meal, fine flour! Knead and make cakes!" Then Avraham ran to the cattle, took a calf, tender and good, and gave it to the youth, who hurried to prepare it. He took cream and milk and the calf that he had prepared, and placed these before them; he stood over them beneath the tree, and they ate.” (Bereishis 18:4-8)
Every detail here teaches us an important insight about kindness. First, you need to run to do chessed. Don’t procrastinate, don’t kvetch about it. Run and joyfully embrace the opportunity to give to another human being.
Avraham offered the wayfarers bread and water, but when he sprang into action he prepared them a lavish meal. “Emor me'at ve'aseh harbeh – say little and do a lot” (Ethics of the Fathers 1:15). Talk is cheap. Momentarily it may create the appearance that you are doing something, but in the end you are just a bluffer, and everyone will know it. The sign that someone is serious about doing good is that he says little and does a lot. Don’t grandstand. Don’t promise a lot. Just get the job done.
The Midrash asks, “Who was the person who did chessed to those who did not need it? It was Avraham Avinu, who gave to the ministering angels” (Vayikra Rabbah 34:8). Amazingly, the Torah's paradigm of chessed is an exchange that in the end did not even benefit the recipients. Angels don’t eat bread! They don’t even eat tongue with mustard. Avraham’s kindness didn’t do them a bit of good.
Yet the Talmud (Bava Metzia 86b) describes the incredible reward Avraham received for doing this kindness:
Rav Yehudah said in the name of Rav: Whatever Avraham did for the ministering angels himself, the Holy One, blessed is He, likewise did for his children Himself. But whatever Avraham did through an agent, the Holy One, blessed is He, likewise did for his children through an agent. “Then Avraham ran to the cattle,” corresponds to, “A wind went forth from Hashem and blew quail from the sea and spread them over the camp.” “And [Avraham] took cream and milk,” corresponds to, “Behold, I will rain down for you food from heaven.” “And [Avraham] stood over them beneath the tree and they ate,” corresponds to, “Behold, I shall stand before you by the rock.” “And Avraham walked with them to escort them,” corresponds to, “Hashem went before them by day in a pillar of cloud to lead them on the way.”
[The above are all examples of actions that were taken directly by Avraham or the Holy One, blessed is He. The following two verses describe actions taken through an agent:]
“Let some water be brought,” corresponds to, “And you [Moshe] shall strike the rock, and water will come from it and the people will drink.”
The Jewish people had water to drink for 40 years in the desert because Avraham gave the three guests some water. All of Avraham’s descendants miraculously ate manna from heaven for 40 years in the desert because Avraham gave the three travelers milk. The Jewish people were surrounded by Clouds of Glory for 40 years in the desert because Avraham escorted his guests.
Look at the incredible impact of every act of chessed Avraham did. His actions affected the entire Jewish nation that descended from him, even though in reality he did not give the angels anything.
The Sages make the following kal v’chomer (a fortiori argument): “If the Holy One, blessed is He, rewards the children of a person who does chessed to someone who doesn’t benefit from that chessed, then all the more will He reward the person who does chessed to someone who does benefit from his chessed” (Vayikra Rabbah, ibid.).
Avraham's chessed yielded no real benefit, yet look at its impact! Now imagine the reward Hashem will give to your children and grandchildren as a result of your doing something to tangibly help a fellow Jew. Chazal are teaching us that your reward will be even greater than Avraham’s!
The Talmud makes an additional point. Avraham told a messenger to get the water; he delegated. So the Almighty also delegated, and instead of giving water to the Jewish people directly, He gave it through the rock that was hit by Moshe. But Hashem gave Bnei Yisrael the manna directly because Avraham fetched the milk himself.
Chazal are telling us that how you do a chessed makes a tremendous difference. In the desert, the Jewish people could have had water pouring down to them straight from the Almighty, and that would have made it a totally different experience. Water that comes directly from Hashem is very different from water that comes from a rock – just as the bread that came directly from Hashem was not just regular bread, but rather manna. And the shelter they enjoyed in the desert was not just protection from the sun, but rather an experience of being enveloped by the Shechinah, the presence of God.
It is an altogether different act of kindness when you do it yourself.
Whatever chessed you do, whether it is direct or through an intermediary, the impact and reward are mindboggling. “Olam chessed yibaneh – the world is built through kindness” (Psalms 89:2). And so are we.
Chessed is the Almighty’s trademark. Seize the opportunities to do chessed for other. You will become like God Himself.
