Those Shameful Thoughts and What They Really Say about You
An angel of Hashem called to him from Heaven and said, “Avraham, Avraham!” And he said, “Here I am.” And he said, “Do not stretch out your hand against the lad nor do anything to him for now I know that you are a God-fearing man, since you have not withheld your son, your only one, from Me.”1
The Midrash describes Avraham’s feelings as he prepared a knife to slaughter his beloved son as a korban to Hashem:
He stretched out his hand to grasp the knife, while tears streamed from his eyes and fell into the eyes of Yitzchak, with the compassion of a father for his son. Nonetheless, his heart was filled with joy to do the will of his Creator.2
The angels gathered above him in groups, and cried, “Roads are desolate, wayfarer has ceased [to travel]. He has annulled the covenant, and despised the cities. He does not consider the man.”3 “Does He have no desire for Jerusalem and the Beis HaMikdash that He had planned to give to Yitzchak’s children as their inheritance?” they asked. “He does not consider the man.” “If the merit of Avraham did not stand, then no creature can stand before Him.”
We find here a poignant juxtaposition of conflicting emotions. On one hand, Avraham wept over the imminent loss of his precious son, whom he had hoped would carry on his legacy. On the other hand, he rejoiced over the opportunity to fulfill Hashem’s command. How can one heart carry the burden of these two contrary emotions?
The Rambam describes the importance of serving Hashem with love: He who serves Hashem with love toils in Torah and mitzvot, and walks the pathways of wisdom, not for the sake of any personal benefit; not for fear of punishment, nor for hope of reward. He does what is true because it is true, and his reward consequently follows. This is a very lofty level, which many scholars fail to achieve. It was the path walked by Avraham Avinu, whom God called His beloved, since he served God purely out of love. This is the level toward which we must aspire, as God commanded Moshe, “And you shall love the Lord, your God.” If one’s love for God is strong, he will fulfill all the mitzvot for the sake of this love.4
The Zohar states that we must relate to God both as His servant and His son.5 A servant stands in awe of his master, and would never dare question his master’s will. A son loves his father with all his heart and soul, and rejoices to fulfill his father’s will, with no thought of his own benefit. Nevertheless, he may ask a respectful question and expect to receive a loving explanation.
In every aspect of our service of God there must be a delicate balance between love and awe; between the desire to draw close to Hashem, and the fear of overstepping the boundaries of servitude. We must be servants and children of Hashem.
God presented Avraham with a test that would try both aspects of his being at once. “Take your only son, whom you love.” At a time when Avraham’s fatherly love was at its peak, he would be forced to show total, unquestioning obedience to Hashem’s command — as unfathomable as it seemed. Thereby, he would prove his loyalty to the extent that God personally testified, “For now I know that you are a God-fearing man, since you have not withheld your son, your only one, from Me.”
The Midrash relates that after the Binding of Isaac, Avraham began to wonder what was the meaning of it all. First, Gpd promised him that Yitzchak would carry on his lineage. Then, God ordered him to offer Yitzchak as a sacrifice. Finally, God ordered him to withhold his hand, and spare Yitzchak’s life. God then explained that He had only intended for Yitzchak to be raised upon the altar, but He had never intended for him to be brought as an offering.6
Why did Avraham wait until after the Akeidah to question God's command? Why did he not ask these questions before taking his knife in hand to slaughter his son?
As long as Avraham had a responsibility to fulfill, he served God in the capacity of a dedicated servant. No questions or challenges could be brooked. Hashem commanded him to bring Yitzchak as an offering, and Avraham hastened to comply, paying no heed to any misgivings.
After Avraham was told to spare Yitzchak, he no longer had any obligation to fulfill. He now assumed the role of a loving son, who was welcome to ask and understand the depth of his Father’s wisdom.
Remember for our sake, Hashem, our God, the covenant, the kindness, and the oath that You swore to Avraham Avinu on Har HaMoriah. Let the memory of the Akeidah appear before You, when Avraham Avinu bound his son Yitzchak on the Mizbei’ach, and conquered his compassion to fulfill Your will with all his heart. So too, may Your compassion conquer Your anger toward us, and in Your great benevolence, withdraw Your fury from Your nation, Your city, Your land, and Your inheritance.7
