Those Shameful Thoughts and What They Really Say about You
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A group of boys shattered my children's innocence. But what they learned that afternoon was not what those boys intended.
This past Friday was a beautiful day in central New Jersey. My wife decided to take the kids to a nearby park for a few hours -- a friend had recommended it.
The park did not disappoint. My children were having a wonderful time. One of my sons was on the swings with his younger brother nearby when a group of ten 14-year-old boys rode over on their bikes and began bothering them.
At first, it seemed like nothing more than typical teenage mischief. When one of my older children stepped in and asked them what they were doing, the boys backed off.
But within a few minutes they returned. This time, with words.
“Heil Hitler.”
“Dirty Jew.”
My children were stunned.
Growing up in a predominantly Jewish community, they had never personally encountered antisemitism. To them, antisemitism belonged to history books and faraway places. It was something associated with the Holocaust, with Communist Russia, with attacks in Paris and London. Not here. Not in a park in New Jersey.
In a strange way, my children’s shock was itself a testament to the blessing of the world they have known.
Yet it was also a painful reminder. Antisemitism has not disappeared. It has merely changed addresses. Sometimes it marches in the streets. Sometimes it hides behind a keyboard. And sometimes it arrives on a bicycle at a neighborhood playground located in a comfortable upper class neighborhood teeming with manicured lawns and swimming pools. In all likelihood, these children come from educated families. Their parents are college graduates, professionals, successful members of society.
And yet, when these kids encountered visibly Jewish children enjoying a sunny afternoon in the park, something inside them turned toward hatred.
I don't know where these boys were exposed to such Jew hatred -- if it was online, or inside their homes.
But one thing is clear: antisemitism is not just a fringe phenomenon. It's being passed from one generation to the next around dinner tables, in living rooms, and in casual conversations that children absorb far more readily than adults realize.
That should concern every decent person, Jewish or not.
We often comfort ourselves by imagining that education and affluence are natural antidotes to prejudice. History has repeatedly shown otherwise. Hatred can flourish in poverty and prosperity alike. It can wear the face of ignorance, but it can also wear the face of sophistication.
My children were shaken by what happened. We eventually contacted the police and took the incident seriously. And once the initial shock wore off, I sat them down and spoke to them about the age old reality of antisemitism.
I did not present them as victims. On the contrary, I wanted them to understand something far more important.
I spoke to them about values, about kindness and tolerance. About treating every human being with dignity, regardless of their background, beliefs, or appearance. I spoke to them about the privilege of growing up in a home where compassion is celebrated, where helping others is admired, and where respect is not reserved only for those who look or think like we do.
Then I asked them to consider the contrast.
Here were children their own age who apparently found entertainment in humiliating strangers and spewing hatred. And here were my children, whose idea of a good afternoon was playing peacefully in a park, enjoying the sunshine, and spending time together.
My kids learned that being Jewish means carrying a story far older and far stronger than the people who oppose it.
Which life would they rather live? Which values would they rather carry with them?
If my children are going to encounter antisemitism, and sadly, in today’s America it seems increasingly likely that they will at some point, then I want those moments to strengthen them rather than weaken them.
My children learned that hatred still exists. They discovered that there are people who will judge them before knowing them.
And they also learned that being Jewish means carrying a story far older and far stronger than the people who oppose it. A story of resilience, faith, family, learning, and hope. A story that has outlived every empire, every tyrant, and every movement that sought to erase it.
The boys left with their hatred. My children left with pride in their identity.
If history is any guide, only one of those things is built to last.
I just saw a story about Shlomo Carlebach, he was once in Europe, when someone yelled at him and another Jew he was traveling with, in a train station 'dirty Jew'. How did Shlmo react? He appeached the fellow and gave him a hug, and the fellow melted!
I'm not saying anything about the article, just sharing this story.
Hitler (Adolf Hitler that is) grew up living through a Holocaust!!!! His father would frequently vent his wrath on him, and beat him physically on the floor - and was still doing this when he was 13!!! Ironically, Adolph did well in elementary school but withdrew psychologically in HS, and left school at 16, never accomplishing much. He was a semi vagrant.
All this info is publicly available. I didn't know it until recently, though some people I've mentioned it to said they had.
So, a great lesson is that we should make sure to treat others properly. These teens in the park were indeed very misinformed about who we are - a catch-22, as if they'd get to know us, they wouldn't speak that way!
Everyone has some frustrations in life, but one should work to be happy.
Timely
The problem is fast growing! One day, America will be just as bad as Canada, France, and the UK. All those leftists and ultra Orthodox Jews who fly Palestinian flags are about to have a rude awakening when they get left to suffer in diaspora while the rest of us Zionists make it to the Homeland.
We also have these problems here in the U.K, but we only number 300.000,but as this tiny minority of the population, we have the most attacks, from 3 directions, the Extreme right, the extreme left, and the growing Islamist population, where will it end, who can say.
All Jewish boys should learn Krav Maga.
Girls too! Girls get attacked too.
Thank you for sharing this important and meaningful story. You are a wonderful parent.
cont
My mother ( obm) said " jealousy and hate are twins: you hate who are jealousy of, that is why 5he 10 commandments says not to be jealous, also the Torah was given on Mount Sinai( in Hebrew this word has hatred in it) so the other nations of Israel that we got the Torah and were chosen by Hashem,the reason Hitler ( Y"S) hated Jews because we gave the world a conscience what is the right behavior and law and order, so Jews/ Israel should be proud of who were are, and we don't teach hatred of others in fact we teach the opposite
If anti semitism spreads( anti zionism) it starts with hating Jews and according to past history during the Holocaust, it does not stop at the Jews it ended with everyone else, Jews are like the canary in the coalmine , if the canary is in trouble then everyone else will fellow, that is why Jews teach their kids to love, if you teach hate to kids it is like a poison, there is a poem what you teach kids will effect/ affect their mindset, so it is better to grow up with love and acceptance otherwise the kids will end up in a death cult like Muslim haters or Naxi( Y"S to both) , and nothing good comes out of hating others by teaching Jews differently that is why Jews and Israel think outside the box and create inventions, medicines, etc instead of killing others
So many mixed feelings reading this article. As some of the responders below have written: It is not new, and unfortunately, it will more than likely continue. However, to call it "pathetic", misses the point. The reactions of the children and parent in this story is to use the ultimate lesson learned. And nowhere in the article does the writer call the hateful actions "beautiful". Nor does the comment from one of the commentators indicate that the verbal abuse was "beautiful". The ability of the author to turn this horrid action in to one that supports and builds upon his children's Judaism is what is beautiful.
Study your history a little closer. Hatred for Jews - has been part of history for eons. While - retaining Jewish pride - has fallen immeasurably - throughout our history. Jews out of ignorance - fear & wanting to be accepted & belong - have found it easier to assimilate. WE'VE IGNORED G-D's warning(s) - about treating Him casually & not keeping His Written Torah Commandments. WE - need to change our relationship with G-D.
Thank you for sharing this.
So beautiful!! Thank you
Not beautiful at all. It's pathetic. What's beautiful about being verbally spit on?
Agree with Miriam
Brave boys your sons!