AI Versus the Matchmaker: Can AI Help Jewish Singles Find Love?

First, there was Jdate. Then there was SawYouAtSinai, JWed, and JSwipe. Now, a new Jewish dating app, mujual, will be using sophisticated AI to set up singles with the help of an AI Jewish matchmaker named Lora.

The app, which will be coming onto the market by the end of 2023, works like this: When users start up mujual, Lora greets them and steers them towards potential mates who are the best fit for them. These matches are based on a number of parameters, like personality types and preferences, discussed during the user’s time interacting with Lora. A user’s matches are capped at six per week, and when matches are left un-connected with, Lora inquires about the connection, hopefully making the match for both parties.

Alexa Eden

"We are deeply dedicated to making more than matches happen,” said Alexa Eden, humane technologist at AlgoAI Tech, the Israel-based non-profit developing the technology. “We focus on the future by investing our skills, talents and resources into developing relationships from the match to the marriage. Our efforts are focusing on ensuring high quality relationships, compatibility, and connections.

According to Eden, most of the team members at AlgoAI Tech used dating apps in the past and became frustrated with them. They didn’t have great experiences swiping to find matches, and they hoped to create something better.

“Many users may have a desire to meet someone Jewish, but with limited ‘Jewish only’ platform options, and limited compatibility matches, users feel overwhelmed with searching in non-Jewish spaces, or swiping through sub-par matches,” she said. “We’ve instead focused on shifting the user experience to be less about swiping, and more about self discovery in the process of becoming connected with the best compatible matches.”

Mujual combines relationship science, advanced AI, and machine learning to make matches.

“We’ve taken a deeper look at relationship compatibility and have focused on our efforts and creating matching systems that align people on more than just their interests or attraction,” said Eden. “Instead, we’ve focused on predicting factors of healthy happy relationships between people, and built a system to develop these relationships.”

The advisory board for the app includes Shirat Mallach, a couples therapist and relationship consultant and Dvir Kahana, former General Manager of Israel’s Ministry of Diaspora Affairs, while specialists in deep learning, algorithms, and AI make up the non-profit’s professional team.

“We’re creating high quality compatibility matches for a variety of different dating markets and clients,” Eden said.

But what about matchmakers who are hired to do the same?

“For those who have opted to work with matchmakers, there is a consistent complaint that matchmakers do not have the time to really get to know singles,” Eden said, stating that they’re just too busy or overwhelmed to make high quality matches.

For Aleeza Ben Shalom, star of Netflix’s hit show “Jewish Matchmaking” and a matchmaker for two decades, AI dating could be a powerful tool for helping people find love. But even with all the data it can collect and analyze, she stressed that there needs to be human oversight to ensure that the potential benefits are realized and the drawbacks are minimized.

Jewish Matchmaking’s Aleeza Ben Shalom believes AI cannot replace the matchmaker.

“AI algorithms can only work with the data they are given, and if the data contains bias or reflects societal norms and not someone’s true preferences, then the matches made by the algorithm will also reflect those biases,” she said. “This could reinforce existing social inequalities and biases. It's up to developers, users, and yes, matchmakers, to use AI in a responsible and ethical way across the board.”

With all of its advantages, Ben Shalom says AI dating should also be used with caution. It could raise privacy concerns and increase risks in dating, since people are not always honest or authentic in their online profiles.

“Dating apps and online platforms are also vulnerable to catfishing and fraud, where someone creates a fake profile or misrepresents themselves online for malicious purposes,” she said. “Even someone with the best intentions will have a profile that only provides limited information about them, such as their age, location, and interests.”

Ben Shalom is not worried that AI will make her job obsolete.

“While AI is likely to automate some jobs and change the nature of work in certain industries, AI is simply not a replacement for human skills such as creativity, empathy, and critical thinking. Matchmaking involves a certain degree of intuition and experience. A matchmaker must be able to read between the lines, understand subtle cues and nuances, and use their experience to make informed judgments about which matches are likely to be successful.”

These intangible and unquantifiable skills will continue to be in demand, said Ben Shalom. They could even increase in demand as AI becomes more prevalent.

“No bot or algorithm will ever replace the experience of working with me,” she said. “I’m not worried at all. And in fact, I plan to use AI to support the work I do where it’s applicable.”

Even though their approaches may be different, Eden and Ben Shalom are both focused on the same goal: to help Jews find love that will last a lifetime.

“Mujual is a non-profit, funded privately by Jewish donors, as a tool to ensure longevity for the Jewish people,” said Eden. “All proceeds go back, directly, into the development of the product as to ensure a clean, ethical, and directive toward Jewish matchmaking.”