Patti Stanger: From Millionaire Matchmaker to Outspoken Jewish Advocate

Patti Stanger is known for her hit Bravo show, “The Millionaire Matchmaker,” which ran for eight seasons. On it, the third-generation Jewish matchmaker would set up women with wealthy men, doling out straightforward advice to help them find true love.

She was never afraid to speak her mind on the show, saying things like, “Most people can’t find love because they’re picky, they overanalyze, and they find things wrong in people. We call them flaw finders.” Or: “If you’re giving love and not receiving it, you’re not in the right relationship. If you’re receiving it and not giving it, then you are taking advantage of the other person.”

Now, Patti is using her voice to stand up for the Jewish people and for Israel – and she doesn’t mince words or waste time getting to her point.

“I’ve always been on the side of right,” Patti told Aish. “Bravo called me the prophet of love and the truth-sayer. We were always the community to help everyone and empathized with their pain, and it’s disgusting so many have turned on us. Stop being jealous of us!”

Patti’s Connection to Her Judaism and Israel

Patti grew up in New Jersey and would go to synagogue with her parents, Rhoda and Ira. While they weren’t religious, her grandparents were Orthodox.

“I was proud to be a Jew,” she said.

When she was in her 20s, Patti went to Israel on Birthright for three weeks and stayed on Kibbutz Be'eri, which Hamas massacred on October 7^th.

“One bomb went off in the distance while I was there,” she said. “The other people were singing and reading magazines, but I was terrified.”

Despite the threats of violence, Patti had a very meaningful experience.

“On Sundays, I went to Eilat, and you’d see dads taking care of their kids and giving the moms the day off. Going to Shabbat there was really nice. And I put a lot of letters in the Wailing Wall.”

What she saw there firsthand was inspiring: “No one in the universe is stronger than Israel,” she said.

October 7^th and Its Aftermath

Patti, a night owl, learned about the October 7^th attack as it was happening.

“I saw TMZ saying Israel had been attacked,” she said. “I called all my friends and woke them up.”

Not only was the news devastating – so was the aftermath.

“I lost my massage therapist of seven years because we had a fight and his antisemitism came out,” Patti said. “A lot of his clients are famous Jews, and his friends are too. He called me a dirty Jew.”

Patti’s ex’s son, a 20-year-old, became radicalized in college as well.

“He is pro-Palestine and during his graduation, he wore a keffiyeh with his mother,” she said. “I was appalled. His stories on social media contain lie upon lie. I am horrified. I don’t think I can repair the relationship.”

When Patti went on a date recently with a Jewish billionaire from Russia, they had a disagreement about Zionism.

“I told him, ‘I’m a Zionist for Israel,’ and he said, ‘But I don’t like its leadership,’” she said. “I said, ‘You’re either a Zionist or you’re not. It doesn’t matter who is in power.”

Patti isn’t afraid to get in the weeds with people, whether it’s in person or online. Her fearless advice? Don’t hesitate to do the same.

“Just block and ignore these people (antisemites),” she said. “The fewer people who follow them, the more we ignore them, they will go down. Most of these people have never seen Israel or Gaza. If you haven’t been to either place, don’t talk to me.”

She continued, “Watch out for your neighbors and be diligent with your children and temples,” she said. “My friend’s kids went to Hebrew school at a temple in Florida where the kids were taught not to be pro-Israel. They took the kids out of the school and put them in another school. You need to know what your congregation and schools are saying.”

What Gives Patti Hope?

The matchmaker, who fixes up people through her company Millionaire’s Club, is also encouraging young people to put themselves out there to try to find their bashert, their soul mate, like she is, and to keep the Jewish people going.

“You need to teach your kids to get out and date,” she said. “Antisemites killed six million of us and they are still killing us. It’s important to make more Jewish babies. And women love Jewish men, because they take care of their women. They were raised that way. By and large, Jewish men make good husbands.”

Patti believes that things may get darker but there is hope.

“The more amped up we get, the closer we are to the light,” she said. “I believe in a greater good. There is a Higher Power. No one has suffered like us and still thrived. We know that good will come out of it.”