Why Isaac Favored Esau

The Aish Rabbi Replies

Thank you for raising your important issue. This is a big topic which I deal with at length elsewhere. See here for the first of a three-part series on this. Very briefly, although Isaac knew Esau was wicked, he also knew that a man with Esau’s leadership qualities was needed to build the Jewish nation. Jacob was by nature pure and wholesome, comfortable in his tents of study but not in confronting the wicked of the world. By contrast, Esau was forceful and aggressive, capable of battling the enemies of God. This role would be critical for building a nation which was to lead all mankind to sanctity and belief in God. Indeed, had Esau properly assumed his role, he would have been the predominant brother, a world leader, as compared to his pious yet more reserved brother. This is why Isaac persisted to the end in his belief that Esau should be given the blessings, despite his personal failings. Isaac hoped Esau would at last grow into the role Isaac knew was so necessary for the Jewish people.

Unfortunately, however, Esau remained wicked – never reigning in his coarse and bellicose nature to be used for the good. Thus, although Esau should have been the primary brother, Rebecca and Jacob realized that he had to be excluded entirely. And instead, Jacob had to assume the role Esau was meant to play. In a nutshell, the story of Jacob from that point on – his escape to Haran, his dealings with the wicked Laban, and his subsequent return to Israel to confront Esau – is the story of the formerly pure and innocent Jacob growing into a public role he was not initially cut out for. He learned to deal with – and overcome – the wicked of the world rather than retreat into his hallowed tents of study. He ultimately received a second name – Israel – and married a second wife – Leah – signifying that he now had a dual mission to fulfill.

See again the series cited above where I deal with this at greater length – a summary of the approach of my teacher R’ Yochanan Zweig. For now, however, I’ll address the one further issue you raised – that Isaac seems to favor Esau for as superficial a reason as the tasty meat he brought him. That, however, was exactly it! Isaac himself could find no substantive reason to love his wicked son Esau. But he managed to find something likeable about him – even if it was only a matter of providing him with good food. And this in itself teaches us a powerful lesson in parenting: love your children. Even if they rebel and disappoint and have little to recommend themselves, find something you like about them – and focus on that. Because even the most failed child surely has some good within him. As above, Isaac’s true reason for favoring Esau was because he knew a fierce fighter was needed in the Jewish people. And knowing that, he managed to find some reason to view Esau favorably – and to continue siding with him and rooting for him to improve.