The Miracle of Jewish Independence Today
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When your spouse cheers on terror, your silence is complicity.
Jewish Insider recently reported that, though New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani spent his mayoral campaign trying to distance himself from the most radical anti-Israel elements of his leftist coalition, his wife's social media activity tells a different story.
Rama Duwaji, Mamdani's Syrian-American wife, liked Instagram posts that unambiguously celebrated Hamas' Oct. 7 massacre
Rama Duwaji, Mamdani's Syrian-American wife, liked Instagram posts that unambiguously celebrated Hamas' Oct. 7, 2023, massacre — an attack that killed nearly 1,200 people, wounded thousands, kidnapped 251 civilians and soldiers, and included widespread sexual violence. She liked posts featuring "From the River to the Sea" slogans, a clip of crowds chanting that "every occupied people has the right to self-defense," and a post claiming Hamas' rapes of Israeli women were a "mass hoax." These weren't obscure reposts. They came from a personal account, in her own name, with which the mayor has interacted.
When asked about it, Mamdani said:
"My wife is the love of my life, and she's also a private person who has held no formal position on my campaign or in my City Hall. I was elected to represent all 8.5 million people in the city, and it's my responsibility to answer questions about my thoughts, my politics, and my stances."
It's a clean deflection. But it doesn't hold up.
Duwaji holds no formal title, true. But the question isn't whether she's on the payroll. It's whether a husband, especially one leading the largest city in America, bears any responsibility for what his spouse publicly celebrates. And whether his silence in response tells us something real about who he is.
Are couples responsible for what their partner believes, says, or posts? Are we extensions of one another, or entirely separate and independent?
Judaism has much to say about this.
The Torah describes the relationship between husband and wife as ezer k'negdo — a helpmate opposite one another. It's not just poetic. The sages explain that a healthy marriage requires two distinct roles: sometimes offering support, and sometimes having the courage to stand opposite your spouse, challenging them when they're going wrong.
The Torah's vision isn't one plus one equals two. It's two halves becoming one. Genesis describes how Adam and Eve were originally created as a single being before God separated them — and marriage is, in a sense, the effort to recreate that original unity.
The Talmud (Tractate Berachot 24a) makes this concrete with the phrase ishto k'gufo — a person's spouse is like their own body. This isn't just metaphor. It carries real legal weight across Jewish law, from ritual practice to financial obligations.
Of course, being two halves of a whole does not mean thinking, speaking, or posting exactly alike. Spouses can have different tastes, preferences, political views, and priorities. Healthy marriages allow space for individuality.
But there's a difference between different opinions and different moral foundations. When it comes to basic questions — good and evil, innocent life, the line between resistance and terror — silence isn't a neutral position. A spouse cannot dismiss the other’s position as “that’s just their opinion, not mine.”
The Torah commands, "You shall surely rebuke your neighbor" (Leviticus 19:17). The prophet Isaiah rebukes those who witness injustice and stay quiet. That obligation doesn't disappear at home. If anything, it's strongest there, with the person closest to you, the one with the greatest access and the greatest potential to influence who you become.
When one partner publicly embraces something morally reprehensible and the other says nothing, the world draws a reasonable conclusion: you tolerate it.
Just as a spouse's decency reflects on their partner, so does moral blindness, especially when it goes unchallenged.
That's not unfair. If you strongly opposed something outrageous said by the person closest to you, you'd say so. If you don't, you're no longer just an observer. You become, in some measure, complicit.
Just as a spouse's decency reflects on their partner, so does moral blindness, especially when it goes unchallenged. Marriage isn't only a shared home and a shared life. It's a shared moral atmosphere.
The issue isn't complicated. If those posts celebrating the October 7 massacre, denying the rape of Israeli women, and glorifying terror don't reflect his values, Mamdani should say so. Plainly. Without qualifications about her being a private person.
Leadership demands the courage to say clearly that celebrating the murder of innocent people and denying the suffering of victims is morally abhorrent.
Silence is complicity.
It's his shalom byit. Mamdani himself is against the reality of Israel ss a Jewish state so for him to side with Israel over Hamas would be s stretch. Probably even his wife would prefer to end the "Zionist entity "in a less bloody manner than Oct 7 but whatever is needed she will support and when pressed so likely would Mamdani.
cont
( free of Jews) I connected the dots that Muslim terrorists that made the mini Holocaust on October 7, 2023 are like a lady on a kibbutz said " they are Nazis ( Y"S) that speak Arabic, whatever language Mamdeni and his wive speak are just like the lady in the kibbutz say Muslim Nazis ( Y"S) with the same goal to murder Jews and nothing they say can change that fact, after the Holocaust Jews should of been smarter not to vote for a enemy that wants to destroy you, where are Jews self preservation to protect from harm with Hashem's help
Kevin sounds like a anti Semite and anti Israel individual, some Jews that are religious anti zionist voted for Mamdeni, also the wive of mamdani said the rapes and all the barbaric acts against the Jews were fake , just like anti semites/ anti Israel characters atpre denying the Holocaust happened which is calked Holocaust deniers, the Hamas terrorists took videos of what they did, and the Nazis( Y"S ) try to hide the facts, these Muslim haters and terrorists that say " globalize the infita " are just trying to finish Hitler's( Y"S) job to murder Jews in cold blood, that is why in Gaza in Muslim Arab countries there is the book " Mein Kenif " by Adolf Hitler ( Y"S) in Arabic and the Nazis ( Y"S) and Muslims ( Y"S) is to make the world and now Israel " Judenrein "
I Shall Be Back to Peruse Your Wisdom Early and Often!
Beautifully Realized Comment, Aish! Mamdani Must Resign Due to this UnHoly Scandal Involving His Wife and Horrid Oct. 7!Instagram Posts. Respectfully and Devotedly Yours——
Thank you for a great article - I especially liked what you wrote in the last section "What Mamdani Should Do" - very, very clear
The rabbi is quoting the Torah to a Muslim. He should refrain from imposing his values on others. Live and let live.
When the Muslim's values include supporting terror a change is in order, or do you want to live in a city where the mayor's wife cheers on pogroms?
“Private” people don’t post their political opinions online.
Jews of NYC go up to israel choose life
send this article and brilliant commentary to Mamdani to contemplate!
I wonder how quickly Rama liked today's attack on ODU and the temple in Michigan? I speak Farsi better than Arabic, but last week, the Mayor was in a mosque as the Imam (who supported the 9/11 attacks) called for the throats of the infidels to be slit. The mayor stood silent, sporting the little smile he always has on his face. If this had happened in a Church or Synagogue, all hell would have broken loose. The mayor and his wife are both Jihadists who make themselves into victims. There are people, many of them Jews, who make up excuses for them. We have a saying about that: “The forest was shrinking, but the trees kept voting for the axe. For the axe was clever, and convinced the trees that because his handle was made of wood, he was one of them.”
It is written in prophets before Moshiach comes we will have lots of problems and heartache from Ishmael ( Muslims) so Jews have to pray and protect themselves by self defense and legal firearms, from the mayor that never should of been he is against America , Jews, Israel, for communism and the rich are for communism not people that had communism in their life like Russians , Cubans, Chinese , etc I hope someone will get rid of such a mayor and his wive which is no better than him, she might be even be worst he likes to play the game, and he has a very fake smile the snake with a suit
I guess the Jews didn't learn from history, some Jews voted for Hitler ( Y"S) too, it ao sad that Jews got duped again, if a enemy says they want to kill you believe them first it was the Nazis ( Y"S) now the Jhadists ( Y"S) to me both are in the same basket
“Palestine” is a massive hoax.
Actually Palestine was a name the Roman's gave to Judah which is now Israel, and Muslims hijacked the Jews name because they are identity theifs and want to steal our land
Silence is indeed complicity. I also believe that people on social media have a responsibility for the ideas they promote. Portraying the savage October 7 attacks—rapes, the murder of civilians, and other barbaric acts—as “self-defense” or dismissing them as a hoax is a shortcut that avoids serious thinking about what actually happened. Gaza was not under attack at that moment, so that argument simply falls apart. Claiming that the reported rapes were a hoax only demonstrates a profound disregard for facts and basic human decency. I can only hope that the citizens who elected Mr. Mamdani as mayor knew what they were getting into.
Actually I hope they didn't, and were stupid rather than evil!
Tolerating the intolerable is to be complicit in the crime.
Rabbi: Presenting the Jewish perspective on oneness in marriage is helpful/relevant to Aish's Jewish audience. That said, in the context of Muslim Mamdani (where Jewish law is obviously irrelevant), it would have been instructive if you had presented Islam's view of marriage (likely: "Wives obey their husbands. Period."). This would have allowed your readers to compare the beauty of Jewish law to the Islamic law Mamdani presumably follows. It likely would have further supported your argument that Mamdani's silence is complicity in his wife's Jew hating posts.
I do not agree with. She will want Muslims to be free and prosper as do we all, I hope. Polarizing posts like yours don’t help. Palestinians should never have done what they did but they deserve peace and prosperity. What Israel inflicted is totally beyond me as a Jew and is unconscionable
This article is not polarizing--it is clarifying. If you cannot understand that you are a naive fool, just as his wife is a naive hater. It's people like you who got him elected. As a fellow Jew I am embarrassed and ashamed by you.
It’s polarized, but it’s also grounded, so no one should be shocked.
The like button isn't working, so I will say it here-like!!!
Beyond the pale regurgitated excuses excuses excuses.. If you condone it, you'd best be prepared to own it! Period!
But she thinks Palestinians should have done what they did. Now what?
It is not about Dawaji, but about Mamdani's reaction to his wife's remarks. As mayor or member of spouse of Public position, she has an obligation to stand for the country he holds office in, and He has the obligation to be held accountable for her disgraceful words. If this was spoken in Iran would either of them be held in the same Light? Doubt that very much, they would be talking a different talk,
My post seems to have been misunderstood. Ms. Fish seems to think Palestinians *deserve* peace and prosperity but should never have done what they did. And Mamdani's wife thinks Palestinians should have done what they did, and liked it. Doesn't that merit a call-out from Ms. Fisch? No, she calls out Israel.
What did Israel "inflict", exactly? OK, many Gazans died. That's what happens when you send TENS of THOUSANDS of rockets at your next door neighbor for TWENTY YEARS and then top that off with Oct. 7------the log that broke the camel's back. They do not want a homeland. They are solely obsessed with destroying any minority in an Islamic majority------Israel, Yazidis, Christians, Druze, Alawites, Bahais.........It's their "Muslim way" or the highway.,That's Islam, in a nutshell. Case closed.
The Gazans use their children as roofing tiles.
I thought it was human shields to make Jews and Israel look bad, a propaganda tactic to seem to look like victims not the reality, they are the barbaric terrorists that teach their kids to hate Jews and Israel and murder Jews and make the land of Israel dissappear G_ d forbid and Am Yisrael Chai
Your like button isn't working, but like!!
The residents that got kicked out of kush Katif in 2005 predicted this outcome, terror acts, missiles, kites on fire, and the cherry on top October 7, 2023, I want Gaza to be taken over by Jewish Israelis and make another place like Kush Katif and a resort too, and make the desert bloom again with what Trump want to make there, it wouldn't be unless Jewish Israeli s have it the Muslims destroy and murder, and Jews are the opposite they build and live
This is not focusing on Muslims, in general. Any individual who blatantly shows support for the demonic, heinous crimes inflicted on civilians by a jealous, hate filled terrorist organization is agreeing and doing so to encourage more of the same. Oppressed Palestinians under the control and influence of blood thirsty Hamas absolutely deserve peace and prosperity. Mrs. Mamdani's media "likes" show her favorable opinion of Hamas raping, burning, tormenting and murdering civilians. Her opinions have nothing to do with helping Palestinians.
After a hundred years of trying to kill Jews and refusing to live in peace, I don't think Palestinians deserve anything, but since we are supposed to hate the sin and not the sinner, I wish they would change like the Germans after WWII and then merit to live in peace and prosperity.
I disagree with you as much as I disagree with his wife’s position on Hamas.
Now, where did I leave my wading boots? I need them to get through the fecal matter uttered by those two anti Semitic worms!
The mamdanis are Islamic terror supporters!
A lot of New Yorkers who love the land of Israel voted for Mr. Mamdani because we think he might be better for Israel than the current prime minister. The concept of chased isn't just taking care of yourself, it's for all people or it's for no one.
Too many millions have died over the years because some people think some other people are "disgusting trash". G-d doesn't make disgusting trash. Thank you.
You were voting Mamdani for prime minister? Boy, are you confused!
Not as prime minister. Just as another voice crying out from the wilderness - saying "Stop the madness."
Hamas is calling for the destruction of Israel and the Jewish people. Mamdani is tacitly supporting this.
Also, you are misquoting the prophet. The voice doesn't cry out in the wilderness. The road to be built to allow the Jewish people to return to Zion is to be built in the wilderness.
This is not a subtle difference. You are using this statement to support the destruction of Israel, when it was calling for the rebuilding of Israel as a nation.
Thank you - Esther and Daniel - for clarification. Let me clarify. I'm here, reading on this always informative site, because I love Israel. And want what seems to me to be best for Israel. And for the world. Maspik
I wish mayors and governors would focus on fixing their cities and states, and leave foreign policy to national governments.
I no longer live in NY. I couldn’t have voted for Mamdani, but I couldn’t have voted for Cuomo either. He has serially sexually harassed women.
Excellent comment!
Like I said, you are confused. The mayor of New York has a mandate to run the city, not take care of foreign affairs. Your congressman has more influence on that.
Spot on. Mamdani and his wife are one voice. Silence in this scenario is obviously spoken. NYC sorry to say deserves what they got. You lay with dogs you wake up with fleas. Liberals do not learn. Jews will vote Democrat no matter what all the way to the crematorium.
Honest;y. I believe Mamdani is a DINO with a double order of anti semitism. Btw-- i live in a suburb of nyc and was therefore not eligible to vote in this election.
A very clear and pertinent response to Mandani's evasive public statement. It's absolutely crystal that Mandani agrees with his wife, as he is a vicious Islamist. How 33% of NYC Jewish voters voted for him is the real shanda.
Yes it’s the Jewish millenial kinder who voted for him: they don’t have the scars of the SHOAH that the older generation does. A big problem.
Thank you, Rabbi Efrem, for basing our gut reactions in the Torah's teachings.
I completely agree! And yes, silence is complicity. He just wanted to be mayor. He may feel like her within his own home who knows what conversations they have. They are not Jews. Who knows what they hold to. I don’t trust him at all! Thank you for this article and all your wonderful articles.
Unfortunate Zohran Mamdani’s silence tells us but one thing and that he has no intention of rebuking her comments but only to stay silent because he condones what his wife expresses. Shame on a mayor not having the courage to express his own views on his wife’s abhorrent comments on the October 7 massacre of Jews.
Actually he did express his views... by not saying anything, as you said, he condones what his wife expressed. Didn't we all know this even before his election? Good luck, New York. You need it.
So why did the Jews in this era, did the same mistake that Jews did in Europe to vote for Hitler ( Y"S) , both wanted to murder Jews and once again thevJews didn't take their words to heart, believe your enemies that they want you dead, as a child of a Holocaust Survivor ( obm) I find it difficult and unbelievable that Jews don't see the future, what ever reason you don't vote your enemies, that want the world and now Israel " Judenrein " ( free of Jews) just like the Nazis ( Y"S), what did Jews except from their enemies they should of known this is what will happen, there is no surprise here in my humble opinion