Meet the Educator behind Speak Up Jew
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An acquaintance approached me in the checkout line and said, “I heard that you’re going to Israel; I’m so jealous!” If I’d retorted, “I saw that you’re expanding your home; I’m so jealous,” would I have made her uncomfortable? Instead, I chose to smile and say nothing. Our brief encounter was disturbing; it left me feeling uneasy.
Some people may claim that “I’m so jealous” is just an expression— like “get out of here” or “break a leg.” Of course, these aren’t meant to be taken literally, but certain so-called expressions are revealing and concerning. “I’m so jealous” is one of them.
No, I’m not overthinking; I’m just aware of the insidious effects of jealousy. They can morph into an uncontrollable monster. Our Sages cautioned us that “jealousy, desire, and pursuit of honor remove a person from the world.”183 The consequences of these destructive character traits are highlighted in this Torah reading. Korach was an intelligent rabble-rouser. Jealousy and impudence led him to rebel against the leadership of Moshe and Aharon. Although Korach possessed social status and wealth, he was dissatisfied with the status quo. Jealousy skewed Korach’s thinking process.
In every era there are misguided Jews who argue that everyone can interpret Torah law as he or she sees fit. They insist that every person should have equal authority in all matters regarding what is permitted or not. This attitude personifies the quarrel and rebellion of Korach and his followers. Korach distorted the truth. It didn’t matter if the narrative was partially true or completely false. What mattered was whether people would believe it.
This idea is exemplified in our times by the pervasive campaigns against Israel raging across university campuses worldwide. The BDS (Boycott, Divestment, and Sanctions) movement is fueled by those who oppose a Jewish homeland in Israel. Its supporters boldly circulate flagrant falsehoods disclaiming Israel’s existence, regardless of any accepted boundaries. Like Korach and his rebels, their arguments are vigorously proclaimed with confidence, as if they speak the truth beyond all doubt. Just as Korach did, they mislead others into accepting their erroneous conclusions. By doing so, people mistakenly come to embrace lies as truths. Yes, in every generation there are people who disguise and mask their self-serving agendas.
Occasional feelings of jealousy are normal. But if those feelings are al- lowed to evolve, beware! Excessive jealousy takes you on a self-destructive detour that will lead you astray. Unchecked, it hijacks a person’s clarity and perception. Like any other negative trait, it’s meant to be transformed into a positive one. Giving in to one’s negative urges is self-sabotaging. Resistance strengthens and builds spiritual and mental muscle.
Even negatives, however, possess a kernel of positivity waiting to be revealed. Jealousy can be redirected toward positive ends. Our Sages state that “jealousy among Torah scholars increases wisdom.”184 We’re encouraged to admire and emulate others’ virtuous, positive behaviors. The desire to refine one’s abilities, knowledge, and character traits is positive and productive. In contrast, destructive jealousy emanates from a lack of self-worth. You think that someone else’s success will decrease your own.
The Torah provides us tools with which to cultivate a realistic, healthy sense of who we are. The first of the Ten Commandments, “I am the Lord, your God,” and the last, “You shall not covet,” connect to form a fundamental teaching: God grants each of us the resources we need to achieve our own specific purpose in life. Saying to yourself, “I deserve this just as much as, or even more than, someone else,” or thinking, “Why don’t I have what he has?” implies that God’s agenda is flawed. But it’s not. Thoughts such as these essentially express the haughtiness and entitlement that led to Korach’s downfall. Focus instead on what’s in your toolbox and use your resources well.
Just as a doctor and a repairman depend on certain tools, they’d never desire those of the other. The doctor wouldn’t covet the repairman’s screwdriver, nor would the repairman covet the doctor’s stethoscope. Neither would be able to do his job with the tools of the other. Our material possessions are what we need to best play our earthly roles in the script of the life we have been given. Whatever we have, or lack, is necessary for our particular role. It’s not the part we play that matters; what matters is how well we play the part.
Jealousy distracts a person from accomplishing what he or she has been placed in the world to achieve. We should recognize that our thoughts and actions influence our lives’ direction. Choosing wisely can make the difference between living the life that’s best for each of us—or not. The Talmud teaches us: “Who is called a wise man? The person who sees what will be born from his actions.” Harboring jealousy produces negative ramifications. Just like smoking or addictions, jealousy is harmful to your health and well-being. You can watch your diet and exercise, yet unchecked jealousy will wreak havoc upon you. Jealousy is toxic and can be overpowering. It is a known deterrent to achieving and maintaining happiness. The aftermath of jealousy-induced actions is long-lasting regret.
Strive to be like the wise man. Wise people avoid becoming jealous by being mindful of their “triggers.” We can emulate them by being aware of our own “red flags.” They’re meant to alert us, “Beware, you’re approaching a jealousy zone. Change your direction immediately! This means you!”
How can we avoid falling into the clutches of jealousy? Recognize that thoughts lead to actions. Wisely and proactively choose what thoughts you allow to occupy your mind. Evict distorted ideas that can mislead you. Eliminate the phrase “I’m so jealous” from your vocabulary. It may be just an expression, but it’s certainly not a positive one worth repeating. Spoken words amplify our inner feelings and emotions. Saying “I’m jealous” fans the flames. Rather than focusing on what’s lacking in your life, be more aware of what you can be grateful for.
Always keep in mind that you can’t fully know another person’s situation in life. Only God knows the entire story. That’s another reason why it’s pointless to be jealous of anyone.
Winston Churchill said that “those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.” Learn from the mistakes of Korach and his followers. Aspire to overcome your feelings of jealousy and not act upon them. But, if you ever find yourself feeling jealous of someone who has overcome their jealousy, just admire and emulate him instead.
