How You Can Respond to the Dee Family Tragedy

On the morning of Friday, April 7, 2023, a terrorist attack in Israel devastated the Dee Family, turning the beautiful family of seven into a family of four.

The Dees were enroute to Tiberias from their family home in Efrat to spend the intermediate days of Passover there with their extended family. Rabbi Leo Dee was driving with Tali and Yehuda in one car, ahead of his wife Lucy who was driving with Maia and Rina in another car (Keren was set to join later due to her commitments working at an orphanage in Jerusalem). At 10:52am, they were travelling on Road 57, a road used by thousands of Israelis every day, when Lucy’s car was shot at by terrorists, murdering 20-year-old Maia and 15-year-old Rina and leaving Lucy with bullets in her brain stem and the top of her spinal cord.

The Dee Family

Leo received a phone call from his sister at 11:07, warning him of a terror attack on route. He called Lucy to ensure she was okay but there was no answer. Maia and Rina didn’t answer their phones either. Leo checked the Google Family Link and see that they were located at the Hamra junction, while Yehuda saw on a website that gives live updates of terror attack an image of their white Nisan Micra with suitcases – their suitcases – covered in blood.

With strong suspicions that their family had been targeted by the terrorists, Leo turned his car back to the scene of the attack. Arriving there around noon, they were faced with a fleet of emergency services and soldiers. Rabbi Leo was told that the driver, though with no identify confirmed, had been airlifted to Hadassah Hospital in Jerusalem; he could only hope that this was not his beloved Lucy driving his precious daughters. Leo was ultimately presented with Maia’s ID card.

In that moment, one can only imagine how the world would collapse around the family, shattering all semblance of real life. With his inimitable strength, Rabbi Leo embarked on the journey to the hospital to be with Lucy who was being prepared for an operation in intensive care.

Maia and Rina were buried in their hometown of Efrat on Sunday afternoon. Watching the livestream on YouTube, the pain and anguish inflicted on the innocent family was heart-breaking. Through the eulogies by their father, siblings, friends and teachers, Maia and Rina were showcased as the wonderful young ladies that we vividly remember them as – full of life, with their bright eyes, blonde hair and broad smiles; finding every opportunity to look out for others and bring good into the world. The wailing crowd in the background gave testimony to the immense impact these two individuals had on so many people’s lives.

In his eulogy, Rabbi Leo exclaimed, “How will I explain to Lucy what has happened to our two precious gifts Maia and Rina when she wakes up from her coma?” The international Jewish community rallied around the family with condolences for the girls and prayers for Lucy.

On Monday afternoon, Lucy succumbed to her brutal injuries. Like she was in her life, she was a tremendous giver even in her death, saving the lives of five individuals by donating her organs. One of these was an Arab; something which spoke to Lucy’s unconditional love and respect of all people, regardless of differences.

Our Personal Connection with The Dees

After meeting in their days as Oxbridge students, Lucy and Leo travelled the world and settled in Israel before moving back to England in 2007 where they were the Junior Rabbinic Couple in Hendon United Synagogue for and subsequently the Senior Rabbinic Couple in Radlett United Synagogue. In 2014, they moved back to their homeland of Israel to fulfil their dream of bringing their family up there.

Maia (centre, sunglasses on head) and friends at her leaving party in 2014

We were privileged to know the Dee family well during their years in London. Maia was our close friend at the Independent Jewish Day School (IJDS) and we spent many happy hours in their home in Hendon for playdates and then Radlett for sleepovers. Maia was intelligent and kind. She always knew how to respectfully say exactly what she thought and was there for every individual as confidante and friend. It was clear that she had a bright future ahead of her which unfolded in Israel where she flourished in school, at home, in her youth movement, amongst friends and in seminary. She continued to make a positive impact on all those around her wherever she went and was spending her year of National Service volunteering in a school in Yerucham, a development town in the south of Israel, as counsellor to ninth graders.

The Dee Family stood out in our community as people with strong convictions while being non-judgmental and all-inclusive of everyone who they crossed paths with. Lucy always opened her home to us and other guests with a genuine smile and a sense of infectious excitement about her that put everyone in a good mood. She enjoyed getting us to do crafts and baking together. By spending time in their home, Lucy became a formidable role model, without us even realizing it, inspiring us in positive ways to grow Jewishly. We saw first-hand a true Eishet Chayil, Jewish woman of valour.

Rina was the most gorgeous little girl with a memorably infectious giggle and as the youngest of the four sisters, all of us were desperate to be her favorite of Maia’s friends. The Dees’ home was a place of joy, warmth and profound meaning, all of which were palpable at a tender age and which we were reminded of with more vigor on our visit for Shabbat during our gap year in Israel.

While in seminary, we bumped into the Dee family who greeted us with such genuine warmth and excitement, immediately inviting us to spend Shabbat with them. We keenly took them up on the offer and were graciously welcomed into their home a few weeks later. Every member of the family attended to our needs, going out of their way to make sure we were comfortable and welcome into their world. The Dees still had such a contagious energy, radiating positivity and drawing people in. We instantly felt at ease in their presence, just as we did so often seven years before.

During an uplifting Friday night meal, Rabbi Leo and Rebbetzin Lucy explained that since the pandemic, the family learn Ethics of the Fathers, a Mishnaic collection of Jewish wisdom, together each week. We discussed ways to incorporate the principles into our daily lives and use them to make ourselves better people. It made sense to us that a family with a knack for making strangers feel like friends and creating a sense of community wherever they go, would invest time into building themselves, guided by the words of our sages.

How Can We Respond?

In light of the tragedy that has befallen the family, we wanted to do something to make sure the legacy of the Dee ladies is never forgotten and to ensure that we all play a part in continuing to spread their light of Judaism and joy. We immediately remembered the simple yet profound moment of a mother and a father discussing Jewish ethics with their five children. Each family member contributed their perspective of the text, strengthening and empowering one another. Together they paved the way for their personal development in the context of the Jewish people.

The Dee Family, 2021, @taliakirshnerphotography via Instagram

We hope that families across the world will emulate the Dees through The Dee Ethics of the Fathers Project. The aim is for families to come together on a Friday night to learn one idea a week, discuss its relevance to life today and how we can tap into Jewish wisdom to better ourselves.

You can sign up for free and you’ll receive every Wednesday a PDF with one Mishna from Ethics of the Fathers, along with a short idea and some discussion points. Last Friday night, over 10,000 families across the world shared the first idea at their Shabbat table. Families have reported that they had beautiful and meaningful discussions with children of all ages, talking about what makes a person righteous and what makes each family member unique.

We hope that families across the world are inspired by the essence of the Dee family, remember the extraordinary souls of Lucy, Maia and Rina and elevate their Shabbat table by each week.

Please email thedeepirkeiavotproject@gmail.com for details on how to get involved in the project and the most recent sheets.