Five Ways to Make Better Resolutions for the Jewish New Year

As Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, draws near, it calls us to pause, take stock, and envision the lives we want to lead. Yet anyone who has ever made resolutions knows how easily even our best intentions fade. The good news? With the right approach, change is not only possible but sustainable. Here are five proven ways to create resolutions that actually last.

1. Use trigger phrases.

Every lasting habit is rooted in a deeper value. Identify why you want to change, then choose a simple word or phrase that captures that value. For example, if you’re building an exercise routine, your nudge might be “Healthy body, healthy soul” or try picking one word that embodies the value that you want to practice more this year, like “Energy!” These reminders act like anchors—pulling you back to your purpose when motivation dips and helping you push forward with clarity and inspiration.

2. Micro-actions.

One of the biggest pitfalls in making resolutions is trying to change everything at once. Lofty expectations often set us up for discouragement when we inevitably stumble. A better path? Focus on micro-actions—small, doable steps woven into your day that steadily move you toward the person you want to become. As Arthur Ashe wisely said: “No one has made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do a little. Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” Even little actions, practiced consistently, build real and lasting change.

3. Create a not-to-do list.

Sometimes it’s easier to spot the habits draining your time and energy than to dream up brand-new goals. Instead of piling more onto your endless to-do list, flip the script: create a not-to-do list. For example: Don’t stay up late doom-scrolling. Don’t interrupt your spouse at dinner. Don’t start the morning with complaints. Don’t put your spiritual life last.

Writing these down—and updating them as life evolves—helps you stay intentional and clear about the person you don’t want to be.

4. Just show up.

Starting new habits and pursuing meaningful goals rarely feels smooth. Progress can be painfully slow, and the path ahead often looks uncertain. But there’s quiet power in simply showing up. As Brené Brown reminds us: “The willingness to show up changes us. It makes us a little braver each time.”

So show up at the support group, even if you’re not ready to speak. Show up at the gym, even if all you can manage is ten minutes. Show up for a Torah class, even if your heart isn’t fully in it. Every time you show up, you build courage, resilience, and momentum.

5. Accept the trade-offs.

We often say we want change—yet fall back into old patterns, even when they hurt us. Why? Because every change carries a cost. As therapist Lori Gottlieb puts it: “We can’t have change without loss, which is why so often people say they want change but nonetheless stay exactly the same.” Maybe you want to stop going to the bar after work, but that also means letting go of the friends you drink with. Or perhaps you long to spend more time with family, but that requires sacrificing work hours. By honestly naming and accepting these trade-offs, you free yourself to step forward, not held back by the hidden losses but strengthened by the clarity of your choice.

Rabbi Yitzchak Hutner, a great 20-century rabbi, wrote: “The truth of the matter is that the power of change is the greatest innovation, after the wonder of the creation of Heaven and Earth.” As you enter the Jewish New Year, hold fast to that truth. Change is not only possible—it is a divine gift. Believe in your ability to grow, and let these strategies guide you toward resolutions that last.