If One of Your New Year’s Resolutions Is to Lose Weight, Read This

Losing weight is one of the most common new year’s resolutions. People resolve to go on a diet or sign up for the gym.

And the majority of them will fail.

I can relate to people who struggle with their weight and self-image and want to finally make a change. In eighth grade, I went on an extreme diet and lost about 30 pounds. I had low self-esteem and thought that being thinner would boost my confidence.

I lost a bunch of weight and people told me I looked good, but I was miserable. In my journey to heal, I learned to love and accept myself. These days, I emphasize overall wellbeing and help other women do the same through my size-inclusive, modest fashion line. Over the years, I’ve had conversations with hundreds of women as a body positive advocate.

I’m not a medical professional; you should always speak to a doctor before you decide to take on any new goals related to your health. However, before you decide to go all in on weight loss for 2024, here are some good ways to optimize your health and feel better in the new year – and beyond.

Focus on Overall Health, Not a Number

Pursuing weight loss specifically has been shown time and time again to not work. You almost certainly will gain it back.

Instead, pursue a non-number or looks-focused goal, like being able to run a mile or lift 25 lbs. You may or may not get smaller in pursuit of those goals, you will almost certainly get stronger and healthier.

Stop the Negative Talk

Try to avoid talking negatively about your body to yourself and in front of your kids, especially daughters. Studies have shown that girls as young as 8 have already developed a negative body image, almost always learned from their mothers. Your daughter might be hearing from others how much she looks like her mom; if you talk negatively about yourself, she could do the same about herself.

You can practice talking more kindly about yourself by saying positive affirmations like “I am beautiful inside and out” or “I love myself unconditionally.” Even if you don’t fully believe these at first, with more repetition you can flip the script and eventually take them to heart.

Do the Inner Work

The truth is that even if you lose weight, if you have a negative self-image, you won’t feel better about your thinner body. You might get compliments, or fit into more clothing options, but you won’t feel better in your skin unless you actively pursue body love and acceptance, and spoiler alert: you can do that at any size.

Don’t be surprised if you find yourself being just as critical of your body as you were before, because how we feel about our bodies has nothing to do with how those bodies actually look. To do that inner work, say those positive affirmations, talk to friends about it, and consider finding a therapist who can help you work through any issues you’re having.

Look at the Big Picture

Think about the overall direction of your life. What are you giving up in terms of time, attention, and energy to pursue that smaller body? Is it worth it?

I’m not here to say you should or shouldn’t go on a diet. That’s a personal decision to be made together with a medical professional. I do think it’s worth getting honest with yourself about what you are actually after and what you believe getting smaller will accomplish, and thinking critically about how likely those outcomes are. If they don’t seem realistic, maybe think about other ways you can pursue those goals without focusing on the number on the scale.

Making Changes That Last

Everybody wants to get healthier, but it doesn’t just involve a dress size or how much you weigh. It’s much more than that. If you’re making new year resolutions, focus on what changes you can focus on internally as well to become a happier, more fulfilled person. Then, you can truly make a change that lasts.