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Ten wickedly clever Yiddish curses—hilarious, biting, and too good to use (almost).
I speak Yiddish the way Chuck Schumer did in his 2022 campaign ad, dropping a kvetch here, a kvell there, a sprinkling of mishugaas, and of course some good old nachas.
Fran Drescher let loose this Yiddish phrase, “a leck mit a schmeck,” a lick and a sniff, which basically means a whole lot of nothing. Just saying that phrase out loud makes my vocal cords thrum with pleasure. A leck mit a schmeck. Try it.
We all use Yiddish words, whether we realize it or not. Tell me you’ve never said chutzpah, dybukk, golem, meshuggah, klutz, bupkis, blintzes, kishkes, shpiel, nudnik, shmaltz, gefilte fish, glitch, kibbitz, plotz, nosh, mench, maven, shmooze, yenta, or my favorite: feh.
Or how about these pejoratives which oddly all begin with a sh sound: shicker, shlepper, shmutz, shmo, shlump, shmendrik, shlemazl, shlump, shonda, shnook, shmattah, and many more.
Other random Yiddish trivia:
Did you know the iconic actor James Cagney spoke Yiddish fluently?
I.B. Singer said, when he won the Nobel Prize in Literature: “Ghosts love Yiddish and as far as I know, they all speak it.”
How did Yiddish get to be so juicy? Here's a theory: Throughout the millennia, Jews had no agency or power, and certainly no armies. Their money, possessions and very lives could be yanked away in a second, and often were. What couldn't be taken away were their thoughts and words. Many Jews used their very lack of power to develop a moral genius and a different kind of power. Instead of conquering other lands, they conquered pages of the Talmud and tried to vanquish their character flaws to become more giving, compassionate human beings.
And sometimes Jews got a little tired of being persecuted and being so good, so they packed all their frustration, wit, humor, pettiness and fury into the spoken word, and voila – you got Yiddish.
These proverbs are meant to be enjoyed and not employed against other people. And if you have any juicy (and unfoul) ones of your own to offer, please do in the comment section below.
1. May you be so rich your widow’s new husband will never have to work another day.
Zolst du zayn azoy raykh, az dayn almunahs man zol darf keynmol nisht arbetn a tog.
2. You should be turned into a blintze, and a cat should eat you.
Vern zol fun dir a blintshik un di kats zol dikh kayn.
3. May your wife eat matzah in bed and may you roll in the crumbs.
Zol dayn vayb essen matzos in bet, un du vet zich valgeren in di breklach.
4. May your husband's father marry three times, so that you have not one, but three mothers-in-law.
Zol dayn man's tatte khasunah hoben dray mol, un du vest hoben nisht eyn, nor dray shviggers.
5. May the lice in your shirt marry the bedbugs in your mattress, and may their offspring set up residence in your underwear.
Zoln di lise in dayn hemd khasunah hoben mit di vantzen in dayn matras, aun zeyer zoymen zoln zikh aynshteln in dayne untervesh.
6. May you make a fortune and afford your medical bills.
Zol ir makhn a mazl genug tzu batzolen dayn meditsinish bills.
7. May you be reincarnated as a lamp: hang by day, burn by night, and be snuffed out in the morning.
Migulgl zolstu vern in a henglaykhter, by tog zolstu hengen, un bay nakht zolstu brenen un morgen zayt oyslesht.
8. Go to hell and bake bagels!
Gey tsu gehennum un bak beygels!
9. Stay healthy because you can kill yourself later.
Blaybt gezunt vayl ir kenst teytn zikh shpeter.
10. May all your teeth fall out but one, and may that one give you a toothache.
Ale tseyn zoln dir aroysfaln, nor eyner zol dir blaybn af tseynveytik
As a reward for anyone who reached this far, here are few classic lines that aren’t curses:
Sleep faster, we need the pillows.
Shlof gikher, me darft di kishn.
If everyone brought their bundle of troubles to sell in the market, each person would quickly take back his own.
Oyb alemen gebrakht zeyer pekl fun kopdreyenish tsu farkoyfn in di mark, yeder mentsh volt geshvind tsurikgenumen zeyn eygene.
Dress up a broom, and it will look nice too.
Az men putz ois sheyn a bezem, iz er oykh sheyn.
I care like a cat cares if it’s Wednesday.
Ikh zorg vi a kats zorgt oyb es iz mitvokh.
Ruchama's award-winning novel, In the Courtyard of the Kabbalist was just republished with a short story sequel.
I loved the article and the comments. My mother’s family came from Galicia, my father’s from Moldova. Their “curses” were very different, and very different from those outlined here.
Zol sei schmeken von gurgle: You should have a bad smell from your mouth.
Chub sei im bourd: You should get caught in the bath tub.
On the other hand, when addressing somebody going on a trip: Gehe gesund und kommen gesund. Go healthy and return healthy.
Zei gesund!
My ancient Litvakische grandmother observed, silently, a neighbour's glomp of a daughter and then, after she left, quietly and accurately remarked: "Ein schtuck fleisch mit zwei augen" ("A lump of meat with 2 eyes").
Youre bored? Gai klop dem kop in vant aran
The article and the 40 replies so far have made my day! What a people we are; the people of the book and the people of wit and words.
My favorite is: may you skip with joy and land in the sewer!
😂😂😂😂
Gay vox via tsibbila miten cup in dthrad. Go grow like an onion with your head in the ground
How do you say? "May you grow like an onion, your head in the ground, your feet in the air!" Fun article, thanks!
Di zoltz vaksen vi a tzebele mit de kop in der ert und fees arop!
געה קאַקן אויפן ים
Uh oh
This statement is so inappropriate to post here. Jews speak with dignity.
I am a 78 year old only child of Holocaust survivors. I was born in Bergen Belsen and we moved to Coney Island when I was 2 years old. My parents spoke only Yiddish to me until they learned English. I have never heard them utter any of the stated "curses". The single words listed I do use, because I spoke Yiddish to my children and I still do.
Thank you! I guess the people who uttered these 'curses' never learned about 'what goes around comes around'. I appreciate humor, but the idea of uttering words that wish ill on another person seems very primitive and petty...not funny.
Thank you for writing this funny article.
Here is another Yiddish saying. Se helft vi atoiten bankes meaning it doesn't help.
Also, another Yiddish saying Gai dir L'Chaim Un v'shalom. Go in health and peace.
Another saying is Vus macht a Yid? Meaning how are you? Another is gai klap stainer. Go hit stones.
How about "pu, pu" ken Ehara. When seeing a cute baby and shooing away an evil eye.
Never heard Go hit stones. Thanks!
Zulst zeyn azoi vi a tzvibel. MIT di kup in die erd Un di fies aroif
zeess
Shalom Ruchama!
We really enjoyed your article. It was a lot of fun.
Best regards,
Your mechutonim from Israel
Hello mechutonim! Thanks for the shoutout. Here’s another Yiddish proverb specially for you. “A good son-in-law is like getting a new son. A bad son-in-law is like losing your daughter”. Your Shua is obviously the former.
כל טוב, רוחמה
What about the curse: May you grow like an onion, with your head in the ground and your feet in the air! It's a Yiddish curse, but I don't know Yiddish...just a few words here and there.
What does a shaynem dank mean please?
Literally: pretty thanks, meaning thank you very much. Can be used in the positive or sarcastic sense.
A pleasant thanks
It means Thank you very much
du vaks vie a tzible der kop in drerd un di fis fakert
you should grow like an onion your head in the ground and feet in the air (opposite)
Krenk mit gedogges - everything is on top of you
Krenk mit da'agos: sickness and worries
Awesome!
Harold’s New York in their Edison, NJ deli distributes napkins with Yiddish words and definitions. The napkin defines the word Schtickluch as Habit. I wrote to Harold before he passed away and told him the word means “A Small Piece.” Never heard back from him.
Fascinating and hilarious
It can mean both based on context. One can say he's got shticklach, like he has idiosyncrasies, weird habits or literally it means small pieces
And my favorite from my grandmother:
Vayn voxen ve a streetcar, essen nickels un cacken transfers.
May you grow like a streetcar, eating nickels and pooping transfers!
May you grow like an onion - with your feet in the air and your head in the earth. Zolst du vaksen vi a tzibbel mitt der fees in der luft un der kupp in der erd. (Note: Telling someone in Yiddish to wind up in the earth [gay in drerd] is not considered a compliment. This is a cutesy way of saying it without saying it.)
How about this one?
May you inherit a house with 100 rooms, and may you be found dead in every one of them.
Oy. Hi Gila!
"May you be blessed to have a house with 1000 bathrooms and be constipated" - said by Levy, Archie Bunker's Jewish tv repair person. Archie wanted him to repair his tv asap since he was supposed to be on the tv but Levy had to get home before sundown since he is orthodox so he wouldn't be back til Monday! Archie wasn't pleased!
Zer gut! Ich kechin, oy gevalt! A shaynem dank. Gei gezundt.
Unfortunately, there are many grammatical errors in the Yiddish in this article. Worse, this article showcases the potency of the Yiddish language to disparage others, but does not acknowledge its tremendous richness and ability to also inspire and uplift. (Over the past one thousand years, the gedolei hador of the Ashkenazi world spoke, lived, breathed and transmitted Torah in Yiddish.) I find that disappointing, and wonder what the author's purpose was in writing it.
1. So you find errors? Excellent! Instead of criticizing, why not help us all learn something by listing some corrections. Tikkun olam!
2. May your sense of humour inspire kids as young as four years old to give you quizzical looks.
The author explained the purpose --
"And sometimes Jews got a little tired of being persecuted and being so good, so they packed all their frustration, wit, humor, pettiness and fury into the spoken word, and voila – you got Yiddish."
the article was about the richness of yiddish curses.
Anything suggesting death or hell requires, "God forbid".
Truly hysterical! Wish I knew Yiddish well enough to make you all laugh, too!
Shmeck is not smell. It is taste.
@Larry Gaum “gashmeck” is taste. Shmeck is smell.
Shmeck is Smell NOT Taste.
Farsist is taste.
Oy vey, 2 Jews, 3 opinions 😂😂😂
Gotta love it all 🤗