What Repentance Really Means in Judaism

At this time of year, Jews talk a lot about teshuva. What exactly is teshuva – and perhaps as importantly, what is it not?

Teshuva is most commonly translated as “repentance”. But I am loath to use the word myself because the English word carries associations that are very different from the Jewish concept.

The same is true of the word “sin”, which can suggest a wilful rebellion against God. When was the last time that you wilfully rebelled against God?

The Talmud teaches, “a person does not transgress unless a spirit of insanity enters into him” (Sotah 3a). People lose perspective, get frustrated and angry, are sad and depressed, become full of desire and passion – and a whole host of other possibilities – and are, as a result, led to make decisions that, once back in their sane state of mind, they fully regret.

There is invariably minimal wilfulness in “sin”.

Human beings are essentially good. They just get lost. Even a righteous person “falls seven times but rises again” (Proverbs 24:16).

So What Is Teshuva?

Teshuva is a fundamental concept in Judaism. It’s one of only seven things that preceded creation (Pesachim 54a). Creation was impossible without teshuva in place in advance.

Teshuva comes from the Hebrew root meaning “to return”. In its simplest sense, teshuva is a return to self.

Judaism sees every human being as a Godly soul. We are all born into this world uncontaminated, innocent, pure love and goodness. And that remains at the core of who we are for our entire life. This is our true nature.

However, over the course of time, we stray from that. The power of our own thinking leads us to beliefs, feelings and ultimately choices that disconnect us from who we are. And we find ourselves lost and confused, not remembering who we really are.

Teshuva is a return to that true self, a return to our true nature.

Everyone who looks into the eyes of a baby sees only good, only love, only joy, only Godliness. It’s only once we get older, and our cognitive abilities develop, that we innocently find incredibly creative ways to lose ourselves in the distractions of our material world.

Teshuva is a reawakening from that lostness.

And it is one of God’s greatest gifts to humanity. After freedom of choice, I believe it is God’s greatest gift.

Teshuva is the gift of real change and wiping the slate clean.

There is the possibility of real change. Wiping the slate clean and starting over.

This is the gift of teshuva.

The Logic of Teshuva

Let me explain the logic of teshuva by asking the following question.

The Sages tell us that someone who does teshuva from love, his transgressions become merits (Yoma 86b).

Now, I would understand if they had said that his transgressions can be forgiven. But how can they possibly become merits? I stole something and now that becomes a positive act that I am rewarded for?

Here’s how I see it. When I made a wrong choice, it was in a moment of madness. Perhaps a prolonged moment of madness, but madness nonetheless. Teshuva is a waking up from that madness and a return to sanity.

But there is a learning in the experience.

Going the wrong way and finding myself again usually leads to a deeper sense of self than when I first began. The Talmud teaches that baalei teshuva – those who have transgressed and returned – can reach heights that those who have never transgressed cannot reach (Berachos 34b).

This world is essentially one of making mistakes, learning from them and fixing ourselves. We do not go out seeking to make mistakes. We make plenty without looking for them!

But in making them and doing teshuva, we find our own way back to our true nature. Instead of just following that which was programmed by God, we have chosen it for ourselves.

This learning and development process is the grandeur of human existence. We get to choose Godliness rather than have it imposed upon us.

Let me give a metaphor.

Two people are travelling down a straight road headed for home.

One person travels the straight road and never strays. But the other gets attracted to all sorts of distractions along the way. Deviating from the straight road, he gets lost and confused. At times he travels far from his intended destination, down roads that sometimes take him even the opposite way.

But then he remembers his purpose, the place he wishes to go.

Home.

It’s not easy to return to the straight path. The temptations remain great and he has strayed a long way. But with effort, commitment and perseverance, he finds his way back to that path.

His joy knows no bounds. His satisfaction is immense.

This is the joy of teshuva, the great pleasure of finding our own way and becoming our true selves and at one with our beloved Creator.

There is nothing wrong with the straight path. But the winding path is more likely, and the winding journey is, in its own way, touching and beautiful.

Transgressions are choices that take us away from that road to God. Mitzvot, commandments, are choices that move us along that road and bring us closer to God.

His transgressions become the very means through which he now finds deeper meaning and fulfilment.

So when a person does teshuva from love, from a place of a full heart – not because he is afraid that God will punish him if not, and not because he seeks God’s reward – but simply because he wishes to return to the path that will take him home to God, his transgressions are no longer choices that took him away from God.

His transgressions become the very means through which he now finds deeper meaning and fulfilment as he travels that road to God. Had he not done them, he would not have the joy and satisfaction of having found his own way home.

His transgressions become acts that ultimately brought him closer to God, i.e. mitzvot.

This is why teshuva was created “before the world”. It is so integral to the purpose of creation that there would be no point in creation without it. The windy path is the path to fulfilment and teshuva is the only thing that makes it possible.

As Yom Kippur approaches, we have the beautiful opportunity to rediscover who we are, to find our way back home. It is no wonder that Yom Kippur is considered to be one of the most joyous times in the Jewish calendar.