Shiva – After Shabbat

The Aish Rabbi Replies

First of all, I’m very sorry for your loss. In terms of Jewish law, it is as you wrote – that as soon as Shabbat ends, assuming the seven days of shiva continue until at least Sunday, you immediately return to mourning. Thus, unlike on Shabbat where you go to synagogue for prayers, the Saturday night prayers (ma’ariv) will be at your home. As soon as nightfall arrives, you should conclude Shabbat by saying “Baruch ha’mavdil bein kodesh l’chol” (“Blessed is He who distinguishes between the holy and the mundane”). You then switch back to your torn clothes from the week. (Remember to change out of your Shabbat shoes as well.) Shortly after, people will come to your home to hold services. As during the rest of the week, you should lead the services if you know how. (If the minyan is gathered the first moment after Shabbat, then the mourner just takes off his shoes now and only changes his clothes after, with many waiting till right after Havdalah.)

Prayers on Saturday night are as regular for a shiva house except that Psalm 16 is recited at the end (instead of 49 as during the week). Also, the extra prayer of "Vayiten licha…" which many say and which contains many beautiful verses about the blessings we hope to receive during the week, is not said. Also, if possible, Kiddush Levanah (the blessing recited on the new moon) is delayed until after shiva (if after the week will not be too late).

After the services is Havdalah, said at the conclusion of Shabbat. It’s best if someone else can say it for you. If no one else is available, you can say it, but you should skip the introductory verses (since a mourner may not study Torah) and start with the blessings themselves.

May your proper shiva observance be a merit for your mother’s soul.