Those Shameful Thoughts and What They Really Say about You
Balaam, the non-Jewish prophet, saddled his donkey and was on his way to curse the Jews upon King Balak’s request. On the way, Balaam’s donkey refused to forge ahead. The Torah provides a detailed accounting of the events that transpired with the Angel of God blocking the path, the donkey’s subsequent response, and then Balaam’s response to the donkey.
The Torah states, “The she-donkey saw the angel of God standing on the road with this sword drawn in his hand so the she-donkey turned away from the road and went into the field. Then Balaam struck the she-donkey to turn it back on the road. The angel of God stood in the path of the vineyards, a fence on this side and a fence on that side. The she-donkey saw the angle of God and pressed against the wall, and it pressed Balaam’s leg against the wall – and he continued to strike it. The angel of God went further and stood in a narrow place, where there was no room to turn right or left. The she-donkey saw the angle of God and crouched beneath Balaam. Balaam’s anger flared and he struck the she-donkey with the staff.”
Balaam’s donkey miraculously speaks and questions Balaam for striking him. “Am I not your she-donkey that you have ridden all your life until this day? Have I been accustomed to do such a thing to you?”
What is the point of all this? Nothing in the Torah is superfluous or arbitrary so what is the point of a long recording of man and a donkey?
Lesson:
There is such a profound and poignant lesson with the message of the donkey. “Why are you hitting me? There’s a reason I’m not moving ahead!” While we hopefully do not hit those around us, our impatience and frustration towards others can hurt even more. The Torah goes to great lengths to record the reality of the situation (the angel of God standing in the donkey’s way), the donkey’s reaction (not moving ahead or going in the field) and then Balaam’s reality of the situation (his leg being pressed against the wall). Balaam’s perception was not the true reality of the situation and only after God opened his eyes he was able to see the situation in its entirely and realize that the donkey was correct and thus declare, “I have sinned!”
Unfortunately, often times we go through life with our own blinders of reality on and we only see our limited view. This is especially true when dealing with others. Everyone has their reasons for acting, speaking, and dealing a certain way. We are very quick to make judgements about others for not behaving in a way that is subpar to how we think we would have acted in a similar situation.
It never occurred to Balaam that they donkey had a legitimate reason for straying; maybe he assumed the donkey was distracted, tired, lazy, etc. This incident teaches us that our subjective and isolated perspective of any given situation is not the entire reality. As such, often times in hindsight we find that acting in a way that gives the other person the benefit of the doubt is closer to the objective reality than how we would have acted otherwise.
Exercise: Instead of becoming frustrated with someone, show compassion and patience. Try to give the benefit of the doubt as to why someone might be difficult to deal with. Assume the rude cashier is just having a rough day and give an extra kind word, or assume your difficult to deal with toddler is just tired or hungry and give extra hugs and attention to find out what is going on.
