The Hostages Are Home and We Can Finally Dance Again
8 min read
Miriam Sandler lived the dream—performing across the globe, meeting music royalty, and basking in the limelight. But the price of success left her questioning everything and searching for authenticity.
Miriam Sandler grew up in South Florida in a secular “Jewban” home, as Jews from Cuba call themselves.
“We were very Cuban,” Miriam said in an Aish.com interview. “The whole Latin culture is very spicy, and we loved to dance, enjoy, and party. In terms of religious observance, we didn’t do anything.”
Miriam’s family went to synagogue once or twice a year. On Passover, they had the staple box of matzah on the table but she and her siblings didn’t know much more.
Miriam was musically talented and enjoyed singing and performing during middle and high school. She joined choir and drama club and participated in after-school musical theater productions and small vocal ensembles.
Miriam’s teachers suggested that she pursue music in college. “I was directed to Florida State University where I would audition for the musical theater department. The day of the audition, I lost my voice randomly. I had no cold, no allergies—it just wasn’t there. Later, I clearly saw it as God steering me in a different direction.”
FSU wasn’t in the cards and Miriam ended up at a community college where she met her first private vocal coach, Jon Secada. At that time, Jon was singing backgrounds for Gloria Estefan. He believed in Miriam and prepared her for an audition at the University of Miami, which has a world-renowned school of music.
With Celia Cruz, a Cuban Salsa legend
“I sang a Whitney Houston song for my audition and that audition got me in. I spent the next couple of years at the University of Miami.”
Jon started recommending her for recording sessions and she began doing jingles in English and Spanish. She also became a background singer for various Latin American artists like Chayanne, Julio Iglesias, El Puma and Di Blasio. After Miriam graduated, Jon's own career took off and he asked Miriam to join his entourage.
This was her big break and the beginning of major world touring with Jon and Gloria Estefan. “We traveled all over Central and South America, the States, Europe, and even ended up in Japan.” Through Jon and Estefan, she met artists like Shakira, Ricky Martin, Mariah Carey, Toni Braxton, and Jennifer Lopez.
“We traveled, and performed in booming stadiums and were met by screaming fans at airports. It was a whirlwind. I got to experience the nightlife, private jets, expensive wine, designer clothes, music videos—I was living the dream.”
With Gloria Estefan
While Miriam enjoyed the excitement at first, she began to feel herself objectified and her life superficial. “As much as my voice was an important aspect of performing, to be honest what really mattered was how I looked and dressed and moved my body on stage.”
Miriam was once at a party in Miami with many A-list performers. The house was rocking. People were everywhere talking, shouting, and singing along to the music. All of a sudden, Madonna walked in, and the entire house became stone silent.
“Everyone was watching her in silence like she was some sort of god. I began to wonder, Why do we all worship her? Isn’t there something else that’s worthy of our worship.”
Despite being submerged in the party scene, Miriam felt lonely. She began dating a non-Jewish man who was part of Estafan’s entourage and eventually they became engaged.
While touring, Miriam saw firsthand what went on behind closed doors. “The artists were puppets and their lives were in shambles. Their marriages and relationships were disasters.”
Boarding the tour bus, Miriam watched the musicians and entourage would goodbye to their wives. Then she witnessed their behavior during the tour as though they had no spouse. “The cheating and hooking up that went on was nonstop. It was hard to watch. There was no loyalty or devotion. I was struck by the betrayal and darkness.”
Miriam hoped she and her fiancé would be different. He had just professed his deep love for her and his excitement to be married soon.
With actor Tom Sellek and singer Michael McDonald
One evening, they decided to book a hotel to enjoy a romantic evening together. They had returned to Florida from a world tour and Miriam was going to meet him at a certain time. When she opened the door of the hotel room, she found him with another woman. “I always wondered, with the countless opportunities he had, could I really trust him?” Despite her concern, he had displayed no signs of cheating.
Miriam was caught completely off guard. “He had nothing to say. He had been caught red handed. I realized that I could not allow this to be my future. That’s when I knew this path of success did not equal happiness.”
After her fiancé cheated, another bomb went off that same week: Miriam’s father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. “That changed everything. I began to see how precious every day is. My father was given 3-6 months to live, but God gave us another year and a half with him. Every single day of that time was a gift. It was a time of deep reflection, growth, and spirituality.”
Miriam decided to slowly walk away from the music industry. She was scheduled to go on Estafan’s major world tour, but when her father got sick, she stopped traveling. “I still did local gigs, but I devoted my life to helping my father. I began having this sense of a higher power. I didn’t know anything about Judaism, but I knew I needed to figure out Who was running the show.”
After her father passed away she decided it was time to learn about her heritage. “At the time, I had been learning at the Kabbalah Center in Miami but I needed something more grounded. I began learning Torah with a rabbi. We started from the beginning, Genesis. He was brilliant and provided the depth I was looking for.”
She loved having deep, meaningful conversations and learning Jewish wisdom and insights about the big issues of life.
“Learning with my rabbi quenched my thirst for meaning. Judaism offered tradition, values, and life lessons. I was intellectually and emotionally captivated. I loved the holidays and the endless growth Judaism provided.”
The more she learned, the more she realized how much there was to know.
“When my career was just starting to take off at the age of 18, my middle sister, six years older, had already become more observant. She introduced me to Judaism and everything she mentioned about Judaism made logical sense to me, but I wasn’t ready to take it seriously.
“When I saw the breakdown of people’s lives while on tour, her words were in the back of my mind.”
As Miriam continued learning she began to incorporate Shabbat into her life. “I started with celebrating Shabbat on Friday night but never made it through the entire Shabbat because I would have to leave early on Saturday to perform at local gigs.”
Her rabbi suggested she study in Israel for a short time to gain clarity.
“I studied in Israel for seven months and it was an incredible experience.”
Miriam found the Jewish concept of modesty to be particularly powerful. “On stage, as a singer and dancer, my voice was secondary to my looks. The industry objectifies women. I wanted to develop my inner self, my soul, but I never could because of the constant emphasis on how I looked and how revealing I dressed. When I started dressing modestly, I felt a huge transformation both in my identity and relationships. I attracted deeper, more respectful connections. Dressing modestly helped me feel royal, respected, and dignified.”
When she first began spending Shabbat with different families, she was deeply moved by their warmth and hospitality, as well as the mutual respect and honor shared between husbands and wives. The emphasis they placed on family time and genuine connection left a lasting impression—something Miriam longed to cultivate in her own life.
“About two years after I returned from Israel I went on a blind date with the man who’d become my husband.”
Miriam and Shimon hit it off right away. Shimon had also become religious later in life and was dedicated to learning Torah. Like Miriam, he desired to build a home centered on Jewish values and had a foot in both Jewish and secular worlds. He had built and sold two SEO companies. He had been previously married with a child and although Miriam first saw that as a deterrent, she realized that it made him even more emotionally mature.
This year they are celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary and enjoy their beautiful children and grandchildren.
Our daughter’s wedding
“Everyone wants connection, purpose and meaning,” Miriam says. “I am grateful I found what I was looking for through Judaism’s precious traditions and wisdom.”
Miriam can be reached at [email protected]
WONDERFUL!
She found God in her traditional faith, so happy for her.
Loved the article.
The evolution is fascinating... Originally part of the "with it" world and then realizing how shallow it all is... I am curious ... since G-d has gifted her with a beautiful voice... does she ever sing for women?
What an interesting story! Mrs. Sandler’s description of what happens behind all the celebrity glamour was eye opening.
Note: Mrs. Sandler looks more beautiful now than she did when she was younger. This is not usually the case.