> Ask The Rabbi > Lifecycle > Marriage > Wedding Ceremony

Attending Wedding on Yahrtzeit

September 1, 2017 | by Rabbi Pinchas Waldman

I am invited to a wedding in a few weeks and I realized it falls out on my father’s yahrtzeit (the anniversary of his date of death). Am I allowed to attend?

The Aish Rabbi Replies

I’m sorry for the bad timing, but the custom is not to accept a wedding invitation on the yahrtzeit of a close relative’s passing. If it’s a close friend, you could come in briefly during the chuppah to wish him mazal tov.

(For other events other than a wedding, there are different customs and it depends on a number of different factors. A rabbi should be asked for specific situations.)

Note that if your father’s yahrtzeit falls out in the daytime and the wedding will primarily be held at night, you may come to the part of the wedding which is celebrated after nightfall.

(Sources: Shulchan Aruch Y.D. 391:3, Pitchei Teshuvah 8, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 221:7.)

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