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8 Habits Every Relationship Needs

August 2, 2018 | by Aleeza Ben Shalom

Creating and adapting positive relationship habits that will increase satisfaction and stability in your relationship.

Here are 8 habits every couple needs to adapt to fit their unique relationship.

1. Weekly date night. While date nights are common in the beginning of the relationship, couples often resort to just hanging out and forgetting to plan fun dates. Having a fun date night each week reunites a couple and allows them to enjoy their relationship. With work, family and other obligations, we must carve out some fun times – nights or days – together. No talking about work, bills or anything stressful.

2. Celebrate holiday, anniversaries and birthdays. Everyone grows up celebrating special days in different ways. It’s important to learn how your partner wants to celebrate or honor the day. You may need to make compromises if your ways of celebrating differ. Together, you might find a new way to celebrate that not only works for both of you but enhances your relationship.

3. Give personal space. Staying together long-term means giving space in the short-term. We each have a need for personal time and space. Distance from our partner doesn’t mean something is wrong with the relationship; it may actually mean something is very right with it! Knowing when and how to give your partner space is something you’ll need to learn. Start by observing and noticing when your partner seems withdrawn or desires space. You can also try the direct approach and talk with your partner about personal space. Giving and receiving personal space is rejuvenating to the relationship.

4. Offer comfort and consolation. Life is full of stressful, challenging moments. When stressed or sad, some people want to be left alone to solve their own problems, others want help solving their problems, and still others want someone to listen to them without trying to solve anything. How do you prefer to be comforted when you have a problem? Does your partner want you to console them or do they prefer time to themselves? Make time to talk about your preferences; ask how you can support your partner, and share how you want them to take care of you.

5. Develop inside jokes. Bring humor into your relationship by watching for patterns and laughing again and again when they come up. Inside jokes are a sign that you’re connected. Laughing together helps build the bond and enables you to feel more unified.

6. Give small gifts. It’s not only the large gifts people give that others remember; small, thoughtful gifts go a long way. You can write a meaningful poem, give something practical…or it can be as simple as buying someone their favorite drink. Small gifts are tools to build your relationship and show your partner that you value them and care.

7. Compliment freely. While you might think that critiquing your partner will make them better, you’ll have better success if you offer a compliment instead. Compliments help us to see our strengths, acknowledge them and accept them. Compliments also encourage us to be our best selves. Be generous with compliments. Make your relationship a safe and loving place. Let compliments flow freely to build a great relationship.

8. Fight gracefully. A relationship without disagreements or arguments just doesn’t exist. Real relationships involve a range of emotions. It is inevitable that you will at some point have a fight with your partner. It is essential that you learn how to resolve conflict in your relationship. A fight is only as good as its resolution. Having a fight is not a red flag. Not being able to resolve a fight is. When a couple can overcome conflict, it is something that indicates they have the ability to stay together for the long run. Don’t seek a relationship devoid of conflict. Look for a relationship where you are able to navigate conflict gracefully with your partner.

May your ordinary relationship moments become ones you’ll remember for years to come.

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