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Jewish wisdom on confronting our emotions and moving forward, even when you don’t know what’s ahead.
In Inside Out 2, the new, blockbuster sequel to Inside Out, the main character Riley is becoming a teenager. About to enter her first year of high school, the five feelings in the first film – Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear and Disgust, are joined by Embarrassment, Ennui, Jealousy and Anxiety. The movie explores the valuable roles different emotions play in navigating experiences and managing challenges.
The conflict in the movie between joy and anxiety shows the value that both emotions bring to our lives, and how all emotions are a vital part of our identities.
Here are four, surprising Jewish insights from Inside Out 2.
You can decide who you are. In the movie, Riley’s sense of self is broken down and rebuilt as she confronts the challenges of growing up. The movie teaches us that our beliefs and our memories form our sense of self. You can’t change your memories, but you can change how you interpret them. Jewish wisdom teaches us that you can’t always change things around you, but you can change who you are and who you want to become. As Rabbi Yisrael Salanter, the father of the Mussar personal development movement, wrote: “When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world. I found it difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation. When I found I couldn’t change my nation, I began to focus on my town. And when I couldn’t change my town, I tried to change my family. Now I realize that the only thing I can change is myself.”
No matter what has happened to you, you can choose your beliefs and what you choose to focus on each day.
You can move forward even when you don’t know what’s ahead. The one constant in life is change. With each new transition and life stage, you are forced to confront the discomfort of uncertainty as you cannot see or control what is ahead of you. In the movie Riley struggles to deal with her increasing anxiety as she searches for a new path forward. You don’t need to erase uncertainty from your life in order to take the next step forward. And you don’t need to cling to who you were before just because it is familiar. As Rabbi Noah Weinberg, the dean and founder of Aish HaTorah, taught: “Don’t be afraid of discovering that the ‘real you’ may be different than the current you.”
You don’t need to be happy all the time. One of the most important lessons in the movie is that you don’t need to be happy all (or even most) of the time. Throughout the film, Riley experiences disgust, anger, sadness, joy anxiety, boredom, fear and anxiety. Jewish wisdom teaches that there is a sacred place and time for each of these emotions in your life. As it says in King Solomon’s Book of Ecclesiastes: “Everything has an appointed season and there is a time for every matter under heaven.” A time to be sad and a time for joy. A time for peace and a time for anger.
Happiness is not and should not be the goal in every situation that you find yourself in. Anxiety can help you plan for the future and anger can help you stand up for what is right. Every emotion has a purpose and something to teach you.
You are a work in progress. When Riley’s new sense of self is formed, she isn’t perfect. She includes: I’m not good enough. I’m a good person. I’m selfish. I’m scared. I need to belong. I’m excited. Her sense of self is a continuous work in progress. Jewish wisdom teaches us to never give up on yourself or on each other. Every new experience and every new person you meet can change your beliefs and your sense of self. You can learn something new each day. You can change what you decide to focus on. You are never stuck. As King Solomon wrote: “A righteous man falls down seven times and gets back up.” God gave each of us so many unique, precious feelings as tools to help us grow and change.
There will always be an inner child who remembers what it was like to say goodbye to childhood. Judaism teaches us to hold onto that child within us that is full of wonder and amazement. As the Baal Shem Tov, the founder of the Hasidic movement, wrote: “The world is new to us every morning and every man should believe he is reborn each day.” Because in God’s eyes, you will always be His child, learning how to feel more and grow more each day.
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There are many facets of life - that can occur - as mentioned in this article. Though - there are some aspects that are left out - or ignored. EG: "our beliefs and our memories form our sense of self. You can’t change your memories, but you can change how you interpret them". Often - in counseling - it is discovered & VALIDATED that - MEMORIES - & SENSE OF SELF - WERE INCORRECTLY IMPLANTED & REMEMBERED & SUBSEQUENTLY INTERPRETED WRONG throughout life. Which - UNLESS VALIDLY CORRECTED - can make LIFE CHANGING DECISIONS - MORE DIFFICULT. Without PRAYER TO G-D - & asking for GUIDANCE from HIM. Moving forward & making changes - OFTEN DEPENDS ON - THOSE WHO HAVE ACCESS TO & TEACH YOU - WHAT THEY RECOMMEND THE CHANGES "YOU" NEED TO MAKE - ARE APPROPRIATE
I would like to add that: We are what we are - because - of an accumulation of all the stimulus events - people we’ve met - and the experiences occurring in our life - spiritually - mentally - emotionally - physically - financially.
And it seemed like - it all happened so quietly - and so fast.
Now - we are what we are - and we can’t change our past.
So now - we pray that - G-D - will give us - the wisdom - to CHANGE WHAT WE ARE - & help us accumulate - more of all those attributes - that will make us - a much better person - with an even better life - with Him!
A wise comparison. Thanks!
Wow!