The Model Who Handed Back the Outfit

Rebekah Garfunkel’s parents came from diametrically opposed religious backgrounds.

Her father valued daily prayer and strong religious observance. Her mother grew up with little to no connection to Judaism. She celebrated Christmas and was unfamiliar with Shabbat. Raised in Old Hollywood surrounded by wealth and celebrities frequenting her home, she lived in a world of glamour and no religion.

But beneath the glitter, Rebekah’s mother felt a deep, spiritual void.

When she met her husband and was exposed to Judaism for the first time, she fell in love, with him and a life of faith, purpose, and tradition.

Her parents embraced Judaism wholeheartedly, passing on that spiritual yearning to Rebekah.

Becoming a Model

Rebekah began modeling at 18, but not without hesitation.

“When I was first scouted at 18, my answer was no. Modeling was completely alien to who I was and how I was raised. Then I was scouted again. And then a third time. I guess the third time’s the charm.”

She agreed to sign with one of the top modeling agencies in Los Angeles, telling herself that the decision wasn’t permanent and that she could always walk away.

She was once brought to a commercial audition for Gillette. The waiting room was packed.

“There were hundreds of models who came for the cattle call with their portfolios, hoping to be chosen, hoping to be signed. I was the only girl they called.”

When Rebekah walked into the room, the Creative Director pulled off the rack a pair of short shorts and a tank top and passed them to her. “Here, wear this,” she ordered.

“Everyone was terrified of this woman. Whatever she said was law. There was a whole room of women outside vying to be chosen. Women who would do anything to be picked.”

Rebekah handed the outfit back. “I’m sorry. I’m not going to wear that.”

The room went silent. People stared at her as if she were crazy.

“When I said it, I almost surprised myself. I was intimidated by her but it felt like the words just came out, almost as if God put them in my mouth and afterward I thought, ‘Did I really just say that?’”

She explained that she was religious and didn’t feel comfortable wearing revealing clothing. Her contract clearly stated that she would not wear bathing suits or bikinis but it said nothing about shorts or tank tops.

To her surprise, the director simply said, “Okay.”

Her mother later told her, “I can’t believe you were brave enough to stick to those boundaries.”

At one point, an agent flipped through a portfolio book and asked, “How are you a model if you won’t wear shorts and a tank top?”

She placed the book in front of her. “Go through it. Point to what you will and won’t wear.”

She declined page after page.

“I don’t understand,” he finally said. “I’m sorry to break it to you—but skin sells.”

While Rebekah asked to be placed in the commercial division of the agency, which usually didn’t require immodest clothing, she still felt out of place.

“I was desperately trying to hold on to values that don’t really work in that world. But it’s incredibly difficult. It happens slowly… through compromises that seem harmless. Until one day, you quietly lose yourself.”

One opportunity broke her: a campaign abroad for Pantene Pro-V, which would take place on Shabbat. She declined going but cried over it, understanding that this was her cue to close the door on modeling.

Rebekah explained, “With modeling, you can’t just be half-in. You’re either totally committed and lose yourself completely, or you get out.”

Her modeling years looked glamorous from the outside, but inside she was feeling anxious and alone, saddened by her concessions.

Her agency often invited her to high-profile parties. At one event, she found herself standing in the same room as Paris Hilton and Adrian Grenier, watching people dance on tables.

“I felt completely alone. I knew that this was not the world I wanted. Looking back, I see it clearly: God was protecting me. Closing that door saved me.”

Married Life

After coming out of divorce and recognizing patterns of narcissistic abuse, Rebekah fortunately found a gem of a man. Sylvan, her husband, made her feel at ease.

But Rebeka was confused. She didn’t feel the intense adrenaline or love bombing that narcissistic personalities often create within relationships. Instead, he came across with a quiet strength, wisdom, and steadiness. She felt safe and comfortable with him, which was unfamiliar because she had been conditioned to expect a very different kind of emotional dynamic.

“In narcissistic relationships, you are on this ride with constant highs and lows. You develop a trauma bond, and start to believe you need the ride to function.”

Rebekah recognized that she had finally met a guy who wasn’t trying to be on all the time or hilariously funny. “He actually asked me questions. He was steady, caring. I felt like I could be myself and relax. I wasn’t rethinking every word I said.”

She stepped away, thinking, “I feel good in his presence, so why does it feel like something is missing?”

What was missing was the intensity that accompanied unhealthy dynamics in her relationships.

“That’s when I had to consciously remind myself, he’s a good man. He’s caring, reliable, responsible, and not abusive. He’s warm, attentive, he truly listens, and more than anything he has humility, which is extremely rare these days.”

Rebekah started slowly falling in love with him. It wasn’t wild passion and fireworks. “It was seeing him again and again, noticing his consistency, and realizing that he wasn’t all talk. He showed care through his actions, repeatedly and steadily, which is what built the relationship.”

Motherhood and Postpartum Anxiety

Rebekah and Sylvan married, and after the birth of their first child, Rebekah experienced severe postpartum anxiety.

“It was hard for me. I didn’t even know postpartum anxiety was a thing.”

Her anxiety prevented her from being emotionally present.

“I would be nursing my baby, feeling connected, when suddenly I’d have the most intrusive thoughts. Visions of someone hurting my baby, fears I couldn’t control.”

The thoughts were spontaneous and alarming. “I’d be walking upstairs to take a shower, and suddenly I would see a flash vision of someone hurting my baby. I would just freeze in shock.”

Her husband gently suggested that she was experiencing extreme anxiety. Even though her husband saw it, “it took hearing it from a professional, sitting across from me in a chair, for it to feel real.”

Looking back, she doesn’t see the anxiety as something bad. “It was necessary. It pushed me to go to therapy, and forced me to confront root problems I had never dealt with.”

Channeling Energy into a New Business

As Rebekah navigated her postpartum anxiety, Sylvan encouraged her to channel her energy into something creative.

She had experienced a traumatic delivery with her child. The baby’s heart rate had dropped dangerously low. Everyone in the room was frantic. And despite being induced in three different ways, the baby wasn’t coming out. His heart rate kept dropping.

After delivering, Rebekah’s pain was unbearable as she struggled to walk.

“By the third day, I was sitting in my room just staring at the wall. The pain was so intense I was past crying—and I have a high pain tolerance.”

Adge, her friend who is a doula, came to visit.

She told Rebekah all the secrets the nurses don’t share. She brought cracking ice pads, witch hazel, and antiseptic spray. She showed Rebekah exactly how to use everything.

“She pressed pressure points between my toes. She made chicken soup. She pulled protein bars out of her Mary Poppins bag, played soft music, and even lit incense.”

Adge helped Rebekah feel so comfortable that she was able to fall asleep. When she woke up feeling refreshed, she thought, imagine if every mother knew how to heal and relax like this!

That’s how she came up with, It’s a Mom! - a care package product to give to new mothers after giving birth.

When a child is born, a mother is born, too. That mom should feel celebrated. Rebekah studied what’s most calming for physical pain, and even created a birth certificate for the mothers.

“Instead of going to sleep at night thinking about my fears, I was thinking about possibilities—how to create the website, the packaging, and all the aesthetic parts of it.”

Throughout her life, Rebekah has grown deeply through her challenges, and now channels that wisdom into her career, her writing, and her family.

“What I’ve discovered is that it’s about living a life aligned with your values, keeping your children in mind, and using the talents God gave you for a reason. Doing something your kids will be proud of—and look up to you for.”

Visit Rebekah's website at http://Itsamombox.com