Vampire Weekend's Surprising Jewish Stories
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The most memorable gifts you can give your father this Father’s Day.
A father can feel like an invisible parent as children grow. Behind the scenes he has supported, cared, and been concerned, while mom handled the day to day goings on. A most incredible way of expressing love is recognizing the good that we have been given. Especially to one who is used to being overlooked. Jewish wisdom calls this ‘hakarat hatov’-literally ‘recognizing the good’. Beyond simply seeing, it means we take a moment to contemplate and acknowledge.
This Father’s Day show your dad that you really see him and don’t take him for granted. Think back – all the trips taken, footballs thrown, nighttime snacks shared, whatever you can think of from your youth that remain etched in your mind. Acknowledge scenarios of your father’s patience, encouragement, and attention to help you attain your goals. Today is your chance to give the gift of recognition.
Undiluted, pure, simple moments together are a gift. We are given the opportunity to bond, share conversation and experiences. Once the moment passes we can never get it back again.
Plan a trip or take your father out and you do whatever it is he loves to do. Be patient. Be kind. Turn off your device. Sometimes we think we are present but emotionally, we are absent.
When you are together, take the time to celebrate your dad. Recreate memories. Share thoughts that show your love. This is your opening to tell your father, “I’m so happy you are my dad” or “You’ve shown me how to get through the hard stuff and climb a mountain. Thank you, Dad.” The words may be hard to say, but you’ll be so happy you said them.
As years pass, a father may sense that he has become irrelevant. The child who used to ask for help is now the one called upon to figure out a new gadget. Instead of waiting by the window for daddy to come home, it’s Dad who is anticipating a child’s return.
A father has much life wisdom to offer. Judaism teaches, “Ask your father and he will tell you.” With years come experience, heartbreak, loss, insight, and understanding. Seek out your father’s words, discover what life has allowed him to learn. “Dad, if you could meet yourself at my age, what would you say?” Listen. Don’t be snarky. Open your heart and mind. It’s not just about success and finances. We can learn, too, from all the mess ups and disappointments. Dad has much to give. It is up to us to receive.
When children get together, old rivalries tend to erupt. Arguing, fighting, divisions, and put downs between sisters and brothers sap the joy out of family time. Shalom, peace in Hebrew, is one of the most meaningful gifts you can give your father.
Peace isn’t merely an absence of war. It’s is a sense of security, well-being and unity. Shalom is related to the Hebrew word shalem – wholeness. Because when we have peace we are whole. Complete human beings who love others as we love our very selves.
Make an effort to create an atmosphere of peace as a tribute to your dad. Hold off from anger, bitterness, and resentment. Whether it is peace with your family, or even peace with your father, you will know that you have brought joy to your dad with your very presence.
Most dads have tried their very best. Sure, mistakes were made. Perhaps there were hurts, missed opportunities, and nights that you found yourself crying in bed. But know that if your dad could, he would erase all those moments, go back, and try again. Life is too short to carry the heavy load of bitterness and resentments. We are all simply human beings. We fail. We fall. We want to love and to be loved. Forgiveness brings with it healing and serenity. Dig deep and draw upon your power of compassion and tolerance. It is time to walk a new path.
Give your father a smile. Show him that you are glad to have this time together. That smile will be your gift that gives your father fortitude and spirit to face life’s storms.
Approach this Father’s Day with the words of Rabbi Jonathan Sacks setting your path: “Love transforms us. It makes us beautiful in the eyes of those who love us. It makes us real.”
Allow love to transform your relationship with your dad. Appreciate the blessing you’ve been given – the blessing of having a father in your life.
