Elul: Love Has Everything to Do with It

The Hebrew month of Elul, a spiritually charged time leading up to Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, carries a surprising theme. The very word Elul is an acronym for the verse:

Ani l’dodi v’dodi li – I am for my beloved, and my beloved is for me
(Song of Songs 6:3)

What’s love got to do with it? Why is a verse that describes the longing between two lovers—the metaphor for the love between God and the Jewish People—the central theme of preparing for Rosh Hashanah?

What’s the Essence of Rosh Hashanah?

Rosh Hashanah brings us back to the very beginning of time, when God, as CEO of the universe, was setting the budgets and job descriptions for all of humanity. Unlike any earthly CEO, His resources are unlimited. The only limitation lies in how clearly His employees—us—understand the company’s vision, and how committed we are to carrying out His mission.

On Rosh Hashanah, you stand before God, the CEO, making your case for the year ahead. The past year is closed; last year’s performance review is irrelevant. Everyone starts fresh, with a blank slate. This is the moment to gain clarity, to voice your dreams, and to genuinely commit to bringing them to life.

Elul is the crucial month to recalibrate your goals and prepare your “presentation” to the Boss Himself.

Two Obstacles

But stepping into this challenge isn’t easy. Two major obstacles often block the path: apathy and discouragement.

• Apathy: You feel distant from God—and maybe you’re fine with that. Life feels comfortable enough with minimal effort, scrolling endlessly on social media, binge-watching shows, or just passing time. But apathy halts growth in its tracks.
• Discouragement: Even if you want to change, a cynical voice whispers: “Who are you kidding? You’ve tried this before. Nothing’s different. You’re stuck with the same struggles. People don’t change. Admit it—you’re a failure.” Discouragement drains energy and convinces you not to try.

This is where Elul’s central phrase—“I am for my beloved, and my beloved is for me”—steps in as a lifeline, pulling us out of apathy and despair.

Love Is the Pillar

Stephen Covey, author of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, popularized the idea that “love is a verb.” Judaism echoes this: the commandment “love your neighbor” is understood by most commentaries as expressing love through action.

You can’t legislate emotions—but you can choose actions.

Marriage, for example, isn’t about waiting to “feel the love.” It’s about putting love into action: show affection, give compliments, go out on a date, listen with curiosity, care about what matters to your spouse. When you act lovingly, feelings of love follow. What begins as a verb becomes a reality, and distance gives way to intimacy.

Now apply this to God. You don’t have to wait to feel the love—just act. Take a few quiet moments and ask: What matters to God that I can make matter to me? Sit with that honestly, and you may be surprised at the answers that surface.

Then, choose one or two areas that resonate with you and start small. Step by step, your actions will loosen the grip of apathy and bridge the distance between you and God. But notice: the verse begins, “I am for my beloved”—you must make the first move.

The Ultimate Cheerleader

Love, however, flows both ways. The moment you take a step toward God, His response is immediate and embracing. God’s love is constant. Even the smallest effort on your part shifts the relationship.

This is the meaning of the second half of the verse: “and my beloved is for me.” It’s the antidote to discouragement.

You may be tempted to give up on yourself, but God never does. He knows the greatness within you—because He placed it there. He invested you with unique potential and a mission no one else can fulfill. He is rooting for you every step of the way. Feel His love, let it strengthen you, and allow it to push you forward when you want to stop.

Preparing for Rosh Hashanah

Rosh Hashanah preparation should never feel like a heavy burden. Elul is not about dread—it’s an auspicious, exciting time for clarity and closeness, anchored in positivity and love.

That’s why its essence is captured in “I am for my beloved, and my beloved is for me.” Love defines this season.

Because, as it turns out, love has everything to do with it. When you take small steps to strengthen your relationship with God, you dissolve apathy, awaken a sense of closeness, and feel His reciprocal love. That love gives you the courage and confidence to keep moving forward—step by step—toward fulfilling your life’s mission.

Actionable Takeaway: As Elul unfolds, pick one simple, concrete act of love toward God. Do it consistently. That single step can change the entire tone of your Rosh Hashanah.