Eikev 5786: Divine Devotion

GOOD MORNING! In the mid-1990’s I was chaplain of an Orthodox Boy Scout troop. Five or six times a year we would take weekend camping trips with the boys and many of their parents. We camped all over the state of Florida, which is very long, so many of these trips entailed quite a bit of driving. If you have ever driven in Florida, you probably know that those drives were fairly monotonous.

Once, one of the parents handed me a recording of comedian Myron Cohen to pass the time. I had never heard of him, but I was captivated after just a few minutes of listening. Myron Cohen had a gentle way of delivering jokes – mostly by retelling conversations, replete with all different types of European accents. His expertise was the “borscht belt” audience and his jokes were mostly about relationship. This week’s Torah portion reminds me of one of his classics.

The weather outside was horrible. Even though there was a blizzard raging outside, Irving trudged the half-mile to the bakery. Upon arriving, shivering from the cold, Irving asked the owner for two rolls. The owner quickly retrieved them and asked what else he wanted. Irving said, “Nothing else – just two rolls.”

The store owner is surprised. “You walked all the way here in this weather for only two rolls?” Numbly, Irving nodded. “Well, your wife must really like rolls” said the bakery owner. “How do you know these are for my wife?” Irving asked. “Because your mother wouldn’t send you out in weather like this.”

This week’s Torah portion outlines the foundation of the basis of our relationship with the Almighty:

“If you listen to these laws, safeguarding them and fulfilling them, then God your Lord will guard the covenant that and the love with which He made an oath to your ancestors.”

Rashi, the great medieval commentator, interprets this verse in a rather surprising way. Rashi says that the laws that this verse refers to are those that we generally “trample underfoot.” In other words, this refers to those commandments – mitzvot – that we feel are insignificant.

Many have struggled to understand why Rashi is limiting the fulfillment in the verse to those types of mitzvot. In fact, it appears to be contrary to the simple reading of the verse, which seems to imply all types of commandments. What compelled Rashi to explain the verse in this manner?

Consider for a moment that you received a call from your neighbor at 2 a.m. begging you to come right over because his wife had a medical emergency and has to be rushed to the hospital. They have young children sleeping and need someone to stay with them. This actually happened to me and I did what anyone in that situation would undoubtedly do; I responded in the affirmative and immediately rushed over there.

Now imagine receiving a call at 2 a.m. from this very same neighbor, but instead he asks you to go to pick up a jar of pickles and a carton of ice cream for his pregnant wife who suddenly has an intense craving. In this scenario, you would hardly be as accommodating. In fact, you might just begin to wonder whether or not your friend has lost his mind, and question the long term viability of the friendship.

Yet, a wife has no qualms about asking her husband to get out of bed at 2 a.m. and pick up items that would satisfy her cravings (or to walk a half mile in a blizzard for two rolls). Why? The answer, of course, lies in the nature of the relationship. When you are closely connected to someone you ask things of them that seem insignificant, but they show the strength of the bond. Of course, they also know that if the situation were reversed you would do the same for them.

Here is another way to understand it. Obviously, forgetting one’s wedding anniversary is one of the cardinal sins of marriage. A husband (or wife) must treat the day as a special occasion, perhaps buying flowers or a gift before spending an intimate evening at a nice restaurant. This is a standard expectation.

Now consider the spouse who regularly leaves notes of appreciation or buys flowers for no specific occasion, just to express how much they cherish and appreciate their beloved. Buying a small gift or giving flowers aren’t really considered grand gestures. Yet, which would be considered a stronger indicator of the strength of the bond of their relationship; a nice dinner on an anniversary or notes and small gifts to a spouse for no specific reason other than to express one’s love?

Grand gestures aren’t necessarily a true barometer of the strength of the relationship, nor is responding to an expectation. We often go out of our way to help those in need, including complete strangers. But does calling 911 after witnessing a car accident indicate a relationship? That is the humanity within us, and it compels us to respond. A true relationship isn’t about responding to a great need; it’s about responding to an individual’s needs – great or small.

This is is true in any relationship. In some sense we have mostly forgotten what true friendship is all about. If you haven’t already internalized what I am about to say, let me be the first to inform you: “Facebook Friends” aren’t really your friends. Look at your list of “Facebook Friends” and answer the following: How many of them would lend you $1,000 or immediately come to you in a time of need? The precious few that would are your only true friends. That’s because friendship comes with obligations to one another and a commitment to be there for that person.

In the mid-1990’s I was the executive director of our day school, which was significantly smaller than it is today, and I didn’t have much administrative staff.

Like most schools, we were perpetually trying to raise funds to meet our obligations. Every year we organized the majority of our fundraising around a scholarship dinner – a large event with months of planning and a seemingly infinite number of details. My responsibility was to see that everything went smoothly and that the night was successful from both a fundraising perspective and a “friendraising” perspective.

One year, the honorees were close personal friends. This meant that not only did I have to handle all the details of the banquet, but I also had to prepare two speeches to speak about the honorees as well. My pressure level was at a fever pitch.

My beloved friend, Rabbi Kalman Packouz of blessed memory, somehow sensed my suffering. He called to ask what he could do to help. I couldn’t really think of anything as I was busy trying to compose what I was going to say that evening. He suggested that it might be easier, and that I would probably be a little less anxious, if the speeches were neatly typed out.

I answered exasperatingly, “I barely have time to quickly jot some notes and I still have to work out so many details for the dinner. There’s no chance that I will find the time to sit down and type them up!”

Thirty minutes later he showed up at my front door. With his magnificent smile he said, “I am here to type your notes!” I was astounded. Never would I have dreamt of asking him to come over and type up something. Yet here he was offering to do a menial task, just to help make my life a little easier. I was still reticent but he insisted, and not only did he type my notes, bug he vastly improved what I wanted to say.

He then noted that I probably had to get to the banquet hall a little earlier than the guests, and offered to watch my children while my wife and I got ready to go. I mean really, who does such a thing? Only a person who has an incredible heart of gold and understands the true meaning of friendship.

True friendship is a commitment. If you think being a friend is easy then you have never been a true friend. Often that means simply being there for someone – even when they don’t ask – or showing up for someone in their time of need – even if it’s just a small, seemingly insignificant action.

This is what Rashi means when he says that fulfilling the seemingly insignificant commandments are the true test of our relationship with the Almighty.

As an example: Obviously, it is crucially important to fast on Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement). But does that really comment on the strength of our commitment to being “good” Jews as it relates to fulfilling all that the Almighty asks of us? Not really. In fact, there are many marginally connected Jews who fast on Yom Kippur while otherwise doing very little else that the Torah asks of them throughout the year.

The strength of all relationships is defined by what we do for one another. In reality, we cannot do anything for the Almighty. Nevertheless, by carefully fulfilling commandments – even ones that we would tend to view as trivial – we are demonstrating the strength of our bond with God. That is why it is the observance of these laws that guarantees that God will fulfill the covenant that He promised our forefathers.

The forefathers’ relationship with the Almighty was forged on a personal commitment of devotion. It is our privilege to honor and uphold those very same commitments.

Eikev, Deuteronomy 7:12 - 11:25

Moses continues his discourse guaranteeing the Jewish people prosperity and good health if they follow the mitzvot, the commandments. He reminds us to look at our history and to know that we can and should trust in God. However, we should be careful so that we are not distracted by our material success, lest we forget and ignore God.

Moses warns us against idolatry and against self-righteousness. He then details our rebellions against God during the 40 years in the desert and the giving of the Second Tablets (Moses broke the first Tablets containing the Ten Commandments during the sin of the Golden Calf).

The Torah then answers a question that every human being has asked of himself: What does God want of you? “Only that you remain in awe of God your Lord, so that you will follow all His paths and love Him, serving God your Lord with all your heart and with all your soul. You must keep God’s commandments and decrees […] so that all good will be yours” (Deuteronomy 10:12).