Three Things Every Jew Needs to Hear at the Seder This Year
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If you want a relationship, you need to make room for it—even if it means shifting a few things around.
When people say they're too busy to date, what they often mean is, "I'm not sure I want to make the time for it." Because no matter how packed your schedule is, you find time for what matters to you.
Saying you’re too busy to date is often an excuse to avoid putting yourself out there. Maybe it’s fear of rejection, maybe it’s the comfort of your familiar routine, or maybe you’re convincing yourself that your job is more important than a spouse. But the reality is, we all have the same 24 hours in a day, and the way we spend them reveals our true priorities. If something is important enough, you’ll make the time.
Picture this: You’ve had a long day at work, your boss has been sending tasks all day long, and your to-do list is now staring back at you like a horror movie antagonist. All you want to do is collapse on the couch and binge-watch your favorite Netflix show. But then your friend calls with a great suggestion for you. You now face a choice—do you say, “No, I’m too busy?” Or do you say, “Sure, why not? Let’s see where this goes”?
If you find yourself always choosing the couch and scrolling on social media, then maybe it's time to question what you're prioritizing. Work is important—it keeps us fed, gives us purpose, pays for the dating apps. But at the end of the day, work will always be there tomorrow. Love, on the other hand, requires a little nurturing. It needs those moments when you decide to put down your laptop, shut off the emails, and meet someone new.
Sometimes, the hardest part about dating is the simple act of showing up. If we’re willing to sacrifice for work, for friends, for hobbies, why not make that same commitment to our dating life? If your career is important, you’ll stay up late working on a project. If your health matters, you’ll get up early to work out. If love is important, you’ll make the time, even when it’s not convenient.
Here are some tips to help you make dating a priority without feeling overwhelmed:
Just like you would with an important meeting or a gym session, put your dates on the calendar. If you physically block off time for dating, you're more likely to stick to it. Treat it as a commitment, not just a vague intention. And no, “maybe I’ll go if I don’t fall asleep on the couch” does not count as a real plan.
Not every date has to be a big event. If you're tired after work, suggest a quick coffee or a walk in the park. The goal is to connect, not to overcomplicate things. Low-pressure dates can be just as meaningful and often easier to fit into a busy schedule. Plus, nobody needs the stress of choosing the perfect restaurant only to realize their date hates Italian food.
This one is easier said than done but setting boundaries with your job can help you make time for other important parts of your life. Whether it's turning off email notifications after 7 PM or not working weekends, make sure you carve out space for your personal life. Remember, your boss isn’t going to be there to share in your personal joys or support you during tough times. Work will always be there, but relationships need nurturing now.
Have a free evening? Instead of defaulting to scroll surfing, use that time to plan a date or meet someone new. You don’t need to fill every second, but being intentional with your downtime can help you strike a better balance. Also, you can only scroll through TikTok for so long before the algorithm starts showing you cat wedding videos—and nobody needs that.
If evenings are packed with responsibilities, try scheduling morning coffee dates. It's a low-stress way to meet someone, and it won’t interfere with your evening commitments.
If weekdays are tough, consider taking a walk together on Shabbat or spending a relaxed day together on Sunday. These moments are perfect for reconnecting without the pressures of a busy work week.
Take time to reflect on where you're putting your energy. If work is taking over, and you feel like you're missing out on opportunities to connect, it might be time to reassess. Balance is key, and sometimes you need to adjust your focus.
If you're thinking, "Yeah, but I really am busy," ask yourself: Is it truly about being busy, or is dating just not a priority right now? Be honest —it's okay if dating isn't what you want to focus on at the moment. The key is to understand why. Are you avoiding it out of fear, habit, or uncertainty? Once you acknowledge what's holding you back, you can decide if it's time to make a change or if you're content with where you are for now. Either way, being truthful with yourself is the first step toward clarity.
