aish.com > Family > Parenting

Three Small and Easy Changes to Add Positivity in Your Home

August 14, 2022 | by Sara Shaindel Goldwasser

You’ll be surprised how a seemingly small adjustment can change the atmosphere of your home.

We have a subconscious belief that big changes require massive action. They don’t. Small changes in our body language and the way we speak to our children have the power to shift things in a major way!

If you’re feeling less than satisfied when it comes to your relationship with your children, start with these simple pointers below. You’ll be surprised how a seemingly small adjustment can change the atmosphere of your home.

1. Avoid minimizing words

Words like but, just, and at least inject negativity into the conversation without our even realizing it! Delete them from the sentence or use a different, more positive word instead. Some examples:

“At least you’re honest…” Instead say: You’re honest. The “at least” implies that being honest is no big deal. Because we all value honesty, let’s not underestimate its value.

“Can you JUST put away your shoes?” Instead say: “I need you to put away your shoes.” The “just” implies that the fact that they put away their shoes isn’t so important to us.

“You’re home on time but I also needed you to put your bike in the garage.” Instead say: “You’re home on time and now I need you to put your bike in the garage.” The “but” negates the compliment that was said.

We use minimizing words subconsciously, because that’s what we are used to. They end up detracting from the compliment we really want to give.

2. Greet your child by their name when they walk through the door.

We are so busy getting through our days. It’s so natural for our first interaction to be reminders about taking off shoes and hanging up backpacks. Let’s remind ourselves that connecting to our children is our priority, and it only takes a couple of seconds to connect with them in a positive way when they come home. Say their name and welcome them home.

“Hello Zack. Welcome home! I’m so glad to see you.”

You’ll make the connection even deeper if you remove all distractions (electronic devices etc), and look at them while you are talking to them. It’s an investment in your relationship that costs nothing.

3. Smile at your children while you are talking to them.

People enjoy being around others who are in a good mood. And your facial expressions actually talk louder than you realize. When you talk to your child (or anyone for that matter) and smile while you talk to them, even if it’s about something mundane, they enjoy the interaction, and naturally want to spend their time in your presence.

These subtle differences in our words and actions create a not-so-subtle difference in our home. Try them!

Until next time,
Sara Shaindel




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