Shocker: Marie Kondo Has a Messy House

Marie Kondo shot to fame in 2011 when her first book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up topped international bestseller lists. “Tidying our homes, tidying our environment, is also a way of tidying our minds,” she once counseled. Her book was filled with advice about paring down our belongings, eliminating clutter - even how to carefully fold our socks and other items.

A lot has happened in Marie’s life since then.

In 2012, she married Takumi Kawahara; the the couple now has three children. Their youngest son was born in April, 2021. Parenthood has thrown a monkey wrench into Marie’s home-tidying philosophy.

“When I first became a mother,” she wrote in a blog post in 2019, “I felt frustrated when I couldn’t tidy my home exactly the way I wanted. Then, after having my second child, I didn’t even have the energy to consider some of my former practices around the house! Motherhood taught me to be more forgiving of myself. The joy that comes from parenting exceeds any satisfaction that could have come from a perfectly neat home.”

So much for the Kondo Method! In a recent webinar and virtual tea ceremony with The Washington Post, Marie admitted that she’s given up tidying up her home altogether. “My home is messy but the way I am spending my time is the right way for me at this time at this stage of my life.”

We all can identify. Ever since Marie’s admission that she’s a mere mortal like the rest of us, the internet’s been filled with gleeful posts about her messy home and an undertone of “now you see how hard it is for the rest of us.” Parents are trotting out their messy-kid war stories like old soldiers comparing battle wounds.

But I’m still willing to learn from Marie Kondo, messy house and all.

I’ve been a fan of her first book and followed her advice, evaluating my household mess with her simple mantra: Does this spark joy? If the answer was yes, an item could stay; if the answer was no, I donated it. I still ask myself “Does this spark joy?” when I go shopping or do spring-cleaning. It’s a subtle shift in perspective, implying that we can aim for a life that’s filled with happiness and moments of joy.

It’s also a profoundly Jewish way of thinking. Judaism is all about thinking about what really matters in life and living with joy. The problem is that having a neat house isn’t nearly enough.

Marie has changed her definition of “joy.” Folding my sweaters the Marie Kondo way is slightly satisfying - I’ll give it a 2 out of 10.  Cradling your kids, reading them a bedtime story, or singing along to your favorite songs with them in the car? Ranks off the charts. Marie said, “Up until now, I was a professional tidier, so I did my best to keep my home tidy at all times. I have kind of given up on that in a good way for me. Now I realize that what is important to me is enjoying spending time with my children at home.”

Welcome to the real world, Marie. May your days be filled with the deepest joys and the occasional clean home.