Sharon Shenker’s Unceasing Love

In 1996, Sharon Shenker won a raffle ticket to go to Israel. It was there that she discovered Aish HaTorah, and eventually started working with Aish LA as a trailblazer in Jewish outreach for women.

Along with her partner Chana Heller, she founded the Jewish Women’s Initiative, and she would take Jewish moms to Israel for a life-altering trip that deepened their connection to Judaism, Israel and the Jewish people, and provide learning and social opportunities for participants after the trip was over.

Sharon, a wife and mother of five, had a huge impact on these women, as well as the thousands of other people she taught, counseled and interacted with in Los Angeles and beyond.

“She might have won the trip to Israel, but the Jewish people won the lottery,” said Rabbi Asher Brander, founder of LINK Kollel in Los Angeles.

Sadly, on Monday, Jan. 23, the Los Angeles Jewish community received news that Rebbetzin Shenker had passed away after a prolonged battle with cancer.

At her funeral, speaker after speaker, including Rabbi Asher Brander, Rabbi Aryeh Markman of Aish LA, Sharon’s husband, Rabbi Motti Shenker, and their son Aryeh, talked about Sharon’s number one mission in life: to help others any way she could. These sentiments were echoed in the chat section of the livestream. In story after story people discussed how she had positively impacted their lives.

“She was one in a million,” one viewer wrote. “Beyond. She ALWAYS had time for me.”

Rabbi Markman described Sharon as a fearless force of nature who exuded positivity and love. “She made everyone feel like you were her best friend,” Rabbi Markman said. “She made everybody feel special.”

“The busiest people always have time for others,” her son Aryeh said. “As we all know, my mother greatly impacted many people and loved everyone she interacted with. She made time to make all these people feel cared for, even if she may have been very busy.”

My connection to Sharon was similar. When I was experiencing postpartum anxiety as well as severe OCD, I found her on Psychology Today – she was also a therapist. I wanted to work with an observant Jewish woman like myself who would understand what I was experiencing.

Together, we did cognitive behavioral therapy. Sharon was always cheerful and had a smile on her face when we met. When I would get down on myself and my life, she would lift me back up and help me see the humor in it all. She was big on laughing.

To treat my OCD, she had me doing all sorts of things I hadn’t done in traditional therapy, like jumping off a table and acting out a scene from a horror movie I’d been scared of. She wasn’t afraid to be silly if it meant making me feel better.

Sharon Shenker [L] with her JWI partner Chana Heller

In our last therapy session, we talked about how I was afraid of being on rooftops because I always thought I was going to have the compulsion to jump off one of them. I wasn’t suicidal and I knew I’d never do it, but I still avoided heights because of this.

“Kylie, I want you to go to a rooftop tomorrow,” she said. “Then, stand on the edge. Now, don’t stand so close that you could fall off, but go as near as you can. Then, text me to tell me what it felt like.”

I said, “Sure,” but I had absolutely no intention of doing that. Yeah, right.

But then the next day, my friend invited me to have lunch with her… on her rooftop. When my friend got up from our lunch to take a phone call, I went as near as I could to the edge. I heard Sharon’s voice in my head: “You’re not going to jump off,” she had told me.

For the first time in my life, I felt fine being near the edge. I sent a picture to Sharon.

“I’m here!” I said. “I didn’t intend to do this today, but it worked out that way.”

“How do you feel?” she asked me.

“You know what? I feel fine now. I don’t feel like jumping off.”

“Good. Now go and do this five more times,” she texted me.

I did, and I got over that compulsion.

It turned out that encouraging text was the last time I was going to hear from Sharon.

A short time later, I found out that she was sick. So many people were praying for her in our community and around the world. Her passing unleashed a tidal wave of love and support, with people from all walks of life describing how she had impacted their life.

Sharon’s whole life was about loving, whether it was through being committed to her husband, raising her family, helping her patients heal, teaching classes, creating videos to make someone else’s day that much brighter or simply being kind to a stranger on the street. Her love made her a magnet; everyone wanted to be around her.

We feel the enormous void with her passing.

Her community is sending love to her family during this difficult time. If you’d like to help out, please consider contributing to The Shenker Family Fund at https://thechesedfund.com/westsidekollel/shenker.