Lauren Moss’s Race Against Time

Lauren Moss was five months pregnant when she woke up gasping for air. Her husband attributed it to anxiety about the upcoming birth, but she was convinced something was wrong.

Therapy didn’t help and her panic attacks worsened. She mentioned to the therapist that her blood count was low. He urged her to address it but Lauren ignored his warning.

As the pregnancy progressed, Lauren was constantly exhausted and sick. Her OBGYN assumed she had ITP, a pregnancy-induced low blood count that would stabilize after birth.

When her platelets and white blood cell count dropped to alarming levels, the doctors sent her to a hematologist.

After a bone marrow aspiration at seven months and pathology reports still not in, the OBGYN called. “We need to deliver this baby immediately. We’ll give you steroids to hasten the development of the baby’s lungs.”

After a painful delivery, the baby was sent to the NICU and Lauren went into recovery. There was heaviness in the air before the doctors broke the news that she had acute myeloid leukemia.

In the hospital with Evan

“The ‘panic attacks’ were a symptom of the leukemia,” Lauren explained. “The news was startling but I felt relief that I wasn’t insane.”

She started chemotherapy, and blood and platelet transfusions. Lauren was still bleeding uncontrollably.

“I was hospitalized for three months enduring multiple rounds of chemotherapy, never leaving my room. They couldn’t get me into remission. The only way to survive and have the best chance for a cure was to have a bone marrow transplant while in remission.”

With her husband by her side, as a last hope, the doctors gave her an unconventional chemo cocktail to buy some time.

While Lauren completed her last treatment, she had a strange encounter with one of the Mt. Sinai Hospital custodians. He never said a word to Lauren but after the last treatment was administered, he walked in and asked for a bible. He read from it in a foreign language and then looked at her and told her that she was going to be healed and reunited with her family.

“He asked me for one thing in return. That I bear witness to being cured. He never showed up in my room again. He disappeared.”

Like the custodian had predicted, the treatment put her into remission. Now, she could be treated and potentially survive.

“My doctors arranged for my transfer to The Fred Hutch Cancer Research Center in Seattle, Washington. I was a candidate for either a bone marrow or stem cell transplant. It was a race against time. My New York doctors advised me to choose stem cell as it was scientifically cutting edge.”

Mommy, When Are You Coming Home?

Lauren’s sister, Dana, was a perfect match. But during a pre-op test, doctors discovered a nodule on her lung. It was Aspergillus, a deadly fungal infection that could spread to the brain. Only 3 out of 17 patients survived a transplant with this infection. Until the infection was gone, she was no longer a candidate.

My sister Dana and me

The doctors in Seattle advised she go home, but her NY doctors advised her to stay. “If you leave, they will never take you back. You won’t stay in remission. Staying is the only chance you have for survival.”

“I was treated five hours a day intravenously with Amphotericin B, a neon green liquid that looked like Gatorade. After 45 days the infection was undetectable but still dangerous. The transplant was scheduled.”

During recovery, days blurred into months. The distance from her family and the baby was beyond painful. Adam, her toddler would ask, “Mommy, when are you coming home?” Lauren didn’t know the answer.

Eventually Adam refused to come to the phone. Lauren was deeply saddened and sent letters and colorful drawings instead.

“People of all faiths came together to pray for me and to uplift me during this very tumultuous time. It was a physical and emotional torture.”

Adam and me

During this long recovery, Lauren was under strict quarantine while her cells reproduced. Her body was very frail and at risk of infection. Once her blood counts stabilized and her health improved, her doctor asked if she would like to go home. Lauren was overjoyed and couldn’t believe she had passed the danger. Her husband and father-in-law flew to Seattle to bring her home.

Entering her home, the door swung open and Adam came running to hug her. “I’ll never forget feeling worried. I was anticipating his rejection,” Lauren admitted.

The Next Challenge

Lauren was ready to get back to her pre-ordeal life, but God had other plans. Shortly after returning from the hospital, Lauren’s son was having trouble waking up for camp.

Lauren’s nurse informed them that her son was waking several times a night to urinate. Lauren noticed he lost weight. She took him to the pediatrician and they discovered that his blood sugar was exceedingly high. She needed to get him to the hospital immediately.

Adam and Evan doing a challah bake

“I was just getting back on my feet and my husband was fragile.”

Lauren returned to the hospital, this time to care for her son. He was diagnosed with Type 1 Juvenile Diabetes.

Because of her illness, Lauren was able to reframe the experience. Ok, this is not cancer, she thought. People live with diabetes all their lives. I can do this.

Overnight she became her son's caregiver. “He needed constant blood sugar monitoring, insulin shots sometimes six times a day and middle of the night checks. I would have to chase him around the house to keep him still and he would cry.”

Jewish Awakening

Adam grew up and life stabilized. Thirteen years later, Lauren’s husband, David, was invited on a men's trip to Israel with some friends. He returned home inspired and curious to learn more about Judaism.

Before the trip, David thought he had used up all his prayers and couldn't ask for anything more from God. He realized on the trip that you never have to stop asking.

“He understood for the first time that God is with you every step of the way. He loves you and He wants you to have the best,” Lauren explained. “The trip touched him deeply.”

David put mezuzahs up on the doorframes of their house, and Jewish books were arriving daily. Lauren’s home was evolving before her eyes.

My husband David and me

“His growth was really beautiful but also created a very tumultuous vibe in my house.” She couldn’t comprehend what was going on. The many changes created tension. She had barely caught up when David booked a second trip to Israel.

David’s trip was a profound experience and he convinced Lauren to go on a women’s Momentum trip with 400 other women. Lauren got off the plane and was struck by the beauty of Israel.

One of the most inspiring parts of the trip was visiting a recreational center for children with cancer and leukemia. “Meeting the volunteers and beautiful families deeply moved me as a survivor.”

Jewish Journey

Lauren returned home with a newfound passion for being Jewish. “When my son Adam picked me up from the airport, I asked if he wanted to come to a challah bake.”

Adam and I making challah

“You’re crazy! You’re getting off a plane and you want to bake challah?”

“Adam, come!” she pleaded. It was her first time making challah.

“That was how my Shabbat journey started. I knew I loved baking so I started with challah. The scent lured my family to the table. Then I started to light candles. It was slow and steady growth.”

Lauren wanted to do more and decided to make her kitchen kosher.

She remembered her grandmother always bought kosher meat. She wanted her sons to experience the joy of kashering a kitchen and having food that can be elevated and amazing.

“My boys are starting to date and I want them to bring a girl to a kosher home. Please God, when I have grandchildren I want them to know that their bubby’s house is kosher.”

Lauren discovered that Judaism is not all or nothing – the key is to grow, one step at a time. She views her Jewish journey as a work in progress. Today, she serves as an ambassador between religious and non-observant Jews, and helps other unaffiliated women reconnect at their own pace. Her greatest joy is inspiring her sons. When Adam asked her to make a Shabbat meal for all his college friends, she was overjoyed.

“I told him to buy as many air mattresses as he needed. A crowd came for dinner and our table was ROCKING! They all stayed the entire Shabbat. The best part is that they still come.”

College friends for Shabbat

Lauren feels a responsibility to inspire future generations and she leads by example. “My children may not decide to keep kosher but I know they are seeing the joy. In a world with assimilation and antisemitism rising, it's important to know who we are and what we stand for. I have so much gratitude every day for the gift of life.”