Four Illusions Shattered by October 7th

Last year, as Rosh Hashanah approached, none of us could have known the new year we’d soon be facing. We asked back then for what now seem like trivial things. A better job. For our children to be accepted to the right schools. A year of abundance and comfort. Of course, we also prayed for health and life, but most of us didn’t think about the actual possibility of death.

We say the words every year: “On Rosh Hashanah it is written and on Yom Kippur, it is sealed. How many shall pass away and how many shall be born. Who shall live and who shall die.” But we could not have imagined the horrific amount of untimely deaths that would follow. We could not have fathomed how so many families would be tragically submerged into grief and loss, and how the Jewish people would end up fighting an existential war while people around the globe cheered for our destruction.

October 7^th shattered some common illusions that many of us hold onto. As we prepare to enter the new year, let’s keep our eyes wide open and embrace the sobering reality that October 7^th brought home.

1. It could never happen to me.

Until we come face to face with our own mortality, each of us thinks it can never happen to me. In his new book, In My Time of Dying, journalist Sebastian Junger writes about his near death experience: “Everyone has a relationship with death whether they want one or not; refusing to think about death is its own kind of relationship. When we hear about another person’s death, we are hearing a version of our own death as well, and the pity we feel is rooted in the hope that that kind of thing—the car accident, the drowning, the cancer—could never happen to us. It’s an enormously helpful illusion.”

Many survivors of the attacks on October 7th spoke about how hard it was to understand what was happening that morning because of the disbelief that they had to overcome to realize that their lives were truly in danger. Innocent families sleeping in their beds on a holiday morning don’t hear gunshots and think that someone is actually coming to kill them.

Knowing that we are going to die motivates us to make the most of each moment. Cultivating the daily awareness that death can and will happen to us all motivates us to become the best version of ourselves because we do not know when we will no longer have the opportunity to change and grow.

2. I don’t need to know what I’m living for.

We often get lost often in the daily distractions and details of our endless to do lists. We strive to get through the day, the week or the month, far too busy to consider what we are living for or why we are doing what we do.

Knowing what we would be willing to die for gives us the profound knowledge of what we are living for. That is essential in our increasingly chaotic and confusing world.

October 7th and the subsequent battles and losses have forced many of us to think about what we are living for. When we hear some of the incredibly heroic accounts of commanders, soldiers and even ordinary citizens who ran back to the music festival to save their friends, we start to ask ourselves the crucial question, “What would I risk dying for?” It’s one of the most profound question a person can ask themselves.

Knowing what we would be willing to die for gives us the profound knowledge of what we are living for. That is essential in our increasingly chaotic and confusing world.

3. I can stay silent as a Jew.

In the immediate aftermath of Oct. 7^th, so many people around the globe expressed support and solidarity for Hamas, who raped and murdered innocent civilians and took hundreds hostage. The utter lack of moral clarity shocked us to our core and reminded us how rampant antisemitism is across the world.

The visceral hatred toward Jews, erupting in the so-called elite campuses in North America, has forced on-the-fence Jews to take a stand and fight barbarism. We need to reaffirm our Jewish pride and Jewish values, and give our steadfast support for Israel to defend itself against the evil cruelty of Hamas, Hezbollah and Iran. We need to let go of this illusion that we can stay silent as Jews today. We need to keep speaking up until the world realizes Hamas is a terrorist organization that celebrates death and that Israelis want peace and celebrate life.

4. I have endless time.

We go about our days as if we’re going to live forever. We pretend that we won’t lose our loved ones, that everyone and everything we love will never change, that we have infinite days to accomplish our goals. This illusion shields us from pain but it also takes away the inherent urgency of what it means to be alive.

Those who lost their loved ones this past year remind us: We don’t always get a tomorrow. We may not have another chance to tell our spouses, our parents, or our children: I love you. We may not have another moment to forgive or to be forgiven. We may not have another day to become who we wanted to become. To accomplish what we wanted to do. To say what we wanted to say. To stand up for what we believed in.

As we face the coming new year and yearn to be signed in the Book of Life, let’s let go of these illusions. And let us pray for the peace and safety of the Jewish people. As the new year approaches, let us all remind ourselves that we may not have tomorrow to become who we wanted to become. The opportunity we have to grow is today.