Unsafe at MIT
Rivka Ravitz, mother of 12, was the first female Chief of Staff to the President of Israel. She sat across from Biden, Putin, Obama, Trump, and King Charles without ever compromising her values.
I've interviewed a lot of people. But I don't think I've ever cried researching a guest before we even started filming.
Rivka Ravitz made headlines around the world when a photo showed President Biden bowing to kiss her hand -- a moment that went viral not because of who Biden was, but because of who Rivka is: an Orthodox Jewish woman who doesn't shake hands with men, standing at the center of the Oval Office as Israel's first female chief of staff to a president.
I sat down with her to find out how she got there. Her story floored me.
Rivka is one of ten children. Her husband is one of 11. Do the math on that wedding guest list.
She grew up in an American Orthodox family in Israel -- her parents had made aliyah (immigrated to Israel) from New York just before she was born. She didn't speak Hebrew until first grade; she ended up teaching her parents the language instead.
Her dream growing up was simple: she wanted to be a teacher. She used to line up her dolls and "teach" them. She never imagined a career in politics.
Rivka never planned to work in government. But her husband's father was a member of Knesset (Israel's parliament) -- in fact, he founded the first Orthodox party to enter it. When he became head of the Finance Committee, he needed help, and he turned to his new daughter-in-law.
She said no. She wanted to be a teacher. Then he told her the salary.
"The rest is history," she laughed.
She walked into the Knesset not knowing where the entrance was, what to wear, or how anything worked. Within two years, she'd learned the entire budget process. Then a new rule barred employees from working with first-degree relatives, and she had to start over -- this time with Reuven Rivlin, who later became Israel's tenth president.
She kept climbing. She became the youngest chief of staff to a minister in Israeli history. Years later, she became the first woman ever to serve as chief of staff to the president of Israel.
Rivka worked in rooms filled with powerful men, many of whom wanted her job. Her approach wasn't to raise her voice -- it was the opposite.
"I was really calm," she said. "I didn't yell. I didn't come into the room and demand things. I was just there, and they understood -- my power came from the fact that he chose me."
When she did need to push back, she picked her moments carefully. And she credits her composure to something deeper: starting each day with prayer and a few minutes of Torah study.
"That gave me a lot of power," she said. "I knew who was running this world. So no one else could really affect me."
The meeting with President Biden wasn't even supposed to happen -- it was meant to be a formal, structured sit-down, not a private one-on-one. But at the last minute, Rivka found herself pulled into the Oval Office as Israeli President Reuven Rivlin met privately with Biden.
Biden noticed her and asked who she was. Rivlin explained: this is my chief of staff, Rivka. She's religious -- she doesn't shake hands with men. And, he added, guess how many children she has.
Biden was stunned. Then, instead of extending his hand, he bowed.
The photo ran on the front page of every newspaper in Israel.
Her father -- a Hasidic man from a small ultra-Orthodox community, who had once worried that the Knesset was "not a place for a religious girl" -- cut out the picture and put it on his fridge.
"That Friday, when I came to say hello, I saw the picture, and I had tears in my eyes," Rivka said. "It meant he was happy with me."
Rivka is quick to credit her husband. There were nights she came home exhausted, ready to quit. He never pushed -- he just gently asked her to try one more day.
"He believed in me more than I believed in myself," she said. "That's one of the most important things a spouse can give you."
I asked Rivka what she'd say to women who feel like children and career success can't coexist.
Her answer was direct: "It's fake news. You can do everything -- have children, get married, build a career. You can find help for the house, help with the kids. But no one can fulfill your dream for you. If you give it up, you'll feel it for the rest of your life."
She also didn't sugarcoat the timing. "Between 20 and 35, it's easier. Afterward, it gets harder." She had her twelfth child at 43, and doesn't regret it for a second -- even now, chasing a five-year-old at almost 50.
"At the end of the day, family is the place where you find your calm," she said. "It's the only place you can truly be you. Don't give it up."
