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50 Ways Girls can Feel Good about Themselves

August 29, 2012 | by Tali Gross and Rebecca Berlin

Effective tips for teenage girls in a world where perfection is the new standard.

In today’s world, perfection has become the new standard. It is easy to forget how unattainable perfection really is. This struggle is especially present in the lives of teenage girls. We never feel perfect enough. Whether it’s the way we look, the talents we do or don’t have, the friends we do or don’t’ have, the need to reshape ourselves until we fit in – the pressure is always there.

And while swimming in these dangerous waters, somehow we’re supposed to navigate our way to shore, alone.

We looked around and saw that we weren’t alone in our struggles with self-esteem and body image, and we wanted to do something about it. So we launched, a website where teen girls can share their thoughts, feelings, fears, and triumphs. They can ask questions to their peers and to professionals. They can find shoulders to lean on and ears to listen. We wrote a list of 101 Ways to Feel Good, different tips that can be implemented into the daily lives of both teens and adults. We would like to share 50 of them with you.

  1. Accept compliments with a smile and a “thank you.”
  2. Do what you enjoy, regardless of whether or not you’re good at it.
  3. During the course of the day, when you do something to be proud of, even if it’s small, stop and think about it. Remind yourself that you are good at things.
  4. Be nice to the people around you.
  5. Keep fit!
  6. Stick to your own personal values, as well as to Jewish values.
  7. Challenge yourself!
  8. When you accomplish something, share it with the world.
  9. Be prepared to laugh at yourself.
  10. Pray!
  11. Carry yourself with confidence and pride.
  12. Never say never.
  13. Pamper yourself every once in a while.
  14. Identify the source of your anger.
  15. Sarcasm stings! As your mother always said, “If you can’t think of anything nice to say don’t say anything at all!”
  16. Join a team.
  17. Find yourself some happy, uplifting music and take a power walk.
  18. Face a fear.
  19. Surround yourself with positive people.
  20. Recognize that as a human being you are limited, and you cannot accomplish everything.
  21. Cry if you want to.
  22. Develop a good work ethic.
  23. Apologize with a real, heartfelt apology.
  24. When things get overwhelming, open a book. Escape into a different world for a short while, and you’ll return to this one feeling much better.
  25. Accept help.
  26. Crank up the music and dance around your room! Just let loose, be silly, and have fun.
  27. Disconnect. Close the computer, shut down the cell phone, and turn off the iPod. Let time stop for a little while and recharge yourself before you rush to recharge your phone.
  28. Don’t second guess yourself.
  29. Start thinking in third person. Would you ever tell someone else that you thought she was fat or ugly?
  30. “Who’s having a worse day” is not a contest worth playing. Don’t let yourself get dragged into games where being miserable is the only where to win.
  31. Find a space and make it yours. When you need some you time, escape to your special corner.
  32. Don’t try and read everyone’s minds.
  33. People aren’t mind readers. Ask for help when you need it and let the ones around you know how you’re feeling, especially your parents. They want to help you, they just don’t always know how.
  34. Don’t view failures as the end of the world; view them as a spectacular step towards accomplishing your end goal.
  35. Be realistic.
  36. Be an optimist!
  37. Learn to be patient.
  38. Be on the lookout to learn new things.
  39. Keep yourself well groomed and clean
  40. Go stargazing!
  41. You’re not a doormat so don’t act like one! Assert yourself and your right to an opinion.
  42. Don’t silently seethe. If something is bothering you, be verbal about it.
  43. Confront your problems, don’t run away.
  44. Look at the world through a child’s eyes – with wonder, awe, and big eyes.
  45. Learn to accept constructive criticism.
  46. Show your gratitude.
  47. Learn to be humble
  48. Step back and reexamine the situation. If something isn’t working for you, don’t complain about it — change it!
  49. The Sages say, “A change of place will bring a change of luck.” Start participating in something outside of your regular environment.
  50. Remember that there are times that call for skipping instead of walking.

Access the rest of the list at


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