They Cannot Steal Our Joy: My Son, an Israeli Soldier, Just Got Married

The week before October 7, my newly engaged son and his fiancée were enjoying the Festival of Sukkot in Israel. Jake and Morgan had tickets to return to St. Louis the following week, when they would begin planning their wedding.

Hamas had other plans for them. Instead of flying home together on Delta, Morgan returned by herself on Ethiopian Airlines and Jake found himself reunited with his combat unit on Israel’s northern border.

We all remember the days and weeks that followed. We remember waiting for the IDF to launch its offensive to crush Hamas and recover the hostages. We remember waiting to see if America would stand with Israel against terrorist atrocities… which gratefully it has done. We waited to see if Hezbollah, Syria, and Iran would open a second front to the north… which, for the moment, they have not.

And we continue to wait for victory over unbridled evil, for the return of the remaining hostages, for peace in our land, for Jewish students on American college campuses to feel safe, and for the world community to embrace sanity and denounce malevolent violence with one voice.

But Jake and Morgan decided not to wait any longer. If they couldn’t be together, at least they could sanctify their commitment to one another. And so, on two weeks’ notice, they resolved to marry in Israel.

They envisioned a small, quiet ceremony. But the IDF had other ideas; Jake’s unit wouldn’t hear of being excluded from the celebration. And so, nearly a hundred celebrants, most of them wearing army green, gathered last week to sing and dance as the happy couple tied the knot. For a few short hours, barely a stone’s throw from the Syrian border, the horrors of terror and the threat of savage bloodshed receded behind a curtain of joy and brotherhood and hope and love.

Standing beneath the wedding canopy, Morgan shared these thoughts:

“My journey to Judaism started over 15 years ago, but I can honestly say it was through this war, through this wedding, that I finally saw the incredible unity, the incredible kindness of Israelis. You are an incredible people, like none other. The way you unite during tragedy… the way you pulled off this incredible wedding for us. I couldn’t be happier to be part of the Jewish people…

“But even in happiness, there is sadness. And I think that’s okay. While we’re celebrating tonight, many of Jake’s friends couldn’t be here because they are busy defending our country. We know that now, while we’re celebrating, many are sitting shiva, many are mourning… over a hundred of our people are still in captivity in a hell I can’t even imagine. None of this is right. None of this makes sense. But I keep saying, they cannot steal our joy from us. We won’t let them take our joy.”

There could be no more poignant description of the Jewish experience: we embrace moments of happiness even amidst times of tragedy. We accept our eternal struggle against the darkness of moral anarchy, then reframe the pattern of our lives as detours of trial and tears along our collective journey of unyielding, timeless joy. This is how we as a people have survived for 33 centuries, and how we continue to thrive until this day.

Because no matter how bitter the darkness, there is always hope.

Days after their wedding, the young couple received word that Jake’s unit had been released from service, at least until further notice. Like the one small flask of oil lasting eight days to cast off the spiritual darkness of Greek oppression, the short reprieve to celebrate a wedding stretched out toward a bright future. The disrupted path of two young Jewish souls eager to build a life together has been set back on course with their own Hanukkah miracle.

But the greatest challenge awaits them, as they face the unknown future that lies ahead. And the greatest challenge awaits us as well, the Jewish people.

With the help of heaven, the guns of the current war will soon turn silent, and our soldiers will return home to their parents and their families. That’s when the real work begins, preserving our love, loyalty, and commitment to one another in peace as we have in war, remembering that we are one nation with one soul. Holding on to the unity that has kindled among us in these dark days is the only security we have to ensure our enemies will not rise up against us again and again and again.

May the sounds of missiles soon be replaced by the music of rejoicing, may the tears of mourning give way to tears of joy and jubilation, may children be reunited with their parents and parents with their children.

And above all, may we always remember that we are one people, united by a common heritage, a timeless legacy, and a higher purpose. If we do, we will truly fulfill our divine mission to become a light to the nations and bring about the era of eternal peace and harmony.

Rabbi Yonason Goldson is a TEDx speaker and award-winning podcast host. His most recent book is The Spiral of Time: Discovering new insights and inspiration in the Jewish Calendar. Visit him at ethicsninja.com.