The Most Underrated Success Strategy: Surround Yourself with Excellence

Want to dramatically increase your chances of success in virtually any area of life? Leverage the power of surrounding yourself with the right people.

Maimonides writes: "It is natural for a man's character and actions to be influenced by his friends and associates and for him to follow the local norms of behavior. Therefore, he should associate with the righteous and be constantly in the company of the wise, so as to learn from their deeds."

Being influenced isn't a weakness. It's a reality that you can powerfully use for your growth.

We live in a culture obsessed with being influencers—racking up followers, building platforms, making our mark. But Judaism teaches that the real power lies not in who you influence, but in who you allow to influence you.

How This Works

Here’s a concrete example. Imagine you're trying to get in better shape. You know what you need to do—exercise regularly, eat better, stay consistent. But every morning, the alarm goes off and your bed feels so comfortable.

Now imagine you join a fitness group. Three mornings a week, you meet the same people who are also working on their health. Sarah always shows up fifteen minutes early. David shares healthy recipes in the group chat. Rachel posts encouragement when someone misses a session.

You still have to do the hard work. You're the one who has to get out of bed and push through the workout. But their positive influence picks you up. On the morning you want to skip, you remember that Sarah will notice. When you're tempted by fast food, you recall David's enthusiasm. When you feel like quitting, Rachel's encouragement echoes in your mind.

The work is still hard but you're no longer carrying the weight alone. Their standards become your standards. Their commitment fuels yours. What seemed impossible in isolation becomes achievable in community.

The Science Confirms It

A Harvard study following over 12,000 people for 30+ years found powerful results: if your best friend is physically active, it nearly triples your likelihood of staying active. Having a best friend with excellent dietary habits makes you five times more likely to eat well, a stronger predictor than your own family history.

If social influence is this powerful regarding physical health, imagine its impact on your spiritual life and your character development.

How to Harness This in Your Life

Pick something you're working on right now. Maybe it's establishing consistent learning, improving patience, strengthening family relationships, or that health goal you've been thinking about.

Ask yourself: Who could you surround yourself with to help motivate and inspire you?

• Want to grow in learning? Find a study partner or join a class where people are serious about growth
• Working on building a character trait? Spend time with people who embody those qualities
• Improving health? Join a fitness group or find a workout partner
• Strengthening marriage? Get closer with couples whose relationships you admire

Take one concrete action this week. Don't just think about it—reach out to someone, join that group, show up to that class. Make one move toward surrounding yourself with the influence you want in your life.

The Choice Is Yours

Proactively think about who can influence you.

When you surround yourself with people who excel in an area you want to grow, their victories inspire you. Their struggles remind you that growth is a process. Their presence creates accountability without judgment and encouragement without pressure.

You're going to be influenced; that's a non-negotiable fact. The only question is whether you'll be intentional about choosing those influences, or whether you'll leave it to chance.

So deliberately surround yourself with excellence and increase your chances of success.