GOOD MORNING! It seems that part of the human condition is the general gnawing feeling of being dissatisfied with one’s status quo. This is due, in large part, to our innate drive to constantly achieve and find fulfillment through accomplishment. Unfortunately, a general unhappiness with what one has seldom leads to contentment and satisfaction upon the realization of one’s dreams. That is because we tend to overvalue what we don’t have.

Consider for a moment the chicken who stands at the edge of her farm and peers at the farm across the road. Instinctively she just knows that the pastures there contain more grubs, worms, and birdseed than the pastures on her farm. This is, of course, the ultimate reason why she “crossed the road.” However, in doing so she not only runs the risk of being run over by a truck, but she also risks the near certainty of something far worse: Disappointment.

As American humorist Erma Bombeck once observed, “The grass is always greener over a septic field.”

I would say that the fundamental lack of understanding of what is important in life is one of the biggest failures in modern society. Even when we try to organize our lives through goal setting and creating benchmarks for achievement, we seldom ask the most essential question: “Why is this important to me?”

This stems from a basic, but profound, mistake we make in not knowing the difference between intrinsic goals and extrinsic goals. Intrinsic goals are those that you set for your own self-growth, not for validation from others.

Starting a business to get rich is extrinsic, while starting a business because you are passionate about something and want to ignite positive change is intrinsic. Studying to get a good grade is extrinsic; studying because you want to learn about the subject is intrinsic. Exercising to look good is extrinsic; exercising to feel healthier and more energized is intrinsic. Working for a promotion because you want to make more money and be able to direct others is extrinsic; seeking a promotion because you want more responsibility and the opportunity to advance the goals of the business is intrinsic.

University of Pennsylvania psychologist Dr. Martin Seligman has shown that one of the key elements of personal happiness is accomplishment (other elements include interpersonal relationships and having meaning and purpose in one’s life).

Naturally, we seek recognition of our accomplishments in order to validate their worth, and this might help explain our obsession with what others think of us (and thus focus on extrinsic goals). This would also explain how we arrived at a society that is absolutely consumed with the goings-on in other people’s lives; the obsession to magnify one’s own life through social media and collect benchmarks of successes through “followers,” “likes,” or “friends.”

Unfortunately, seeking fame is very similar to the well-known aphorism, “You can never be too rich or too thin.” All three of these (fame, wealth, and body image) are classic examples of Sisyphean futility. One can never be famous enough, rich enough, or attractive enough. The reason for this is because all require the constant validation of others, there is no end-point to that quest – it is eternally ongoing.

The famous German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer said it best, “Wealth is like sea-water; the more we drink, the thirstier we become – and the same is true of fame.”

For this reason, true self-satisfaction and internal happiness can only really be achieved through the accomplishment of intrinsic goals. What do we find meaningful and important to us?

However, even those who are raised in devoutly religious homes aren’t immune to the “grass is always greener on the other side” syndrome. In fact, many look at their orthodox observance of Torah and mitzvot (commandments) as a very restrictive lifestyle and grow up feeling repressed. They see others going out and having fun on Saturdays, eating anything they want at theme parks and malls, and engaging in pre-marital romantic relationships and they feel jealous of the life they cannot live as Orthodox Jews.

This is one of the failings of the Jewish day school system; the primary focus of the education is on the “how” of observances and not enough emphasis is put on the “why.” The reason that it is such an epic failure is because it displays a lackadaisical attitude toward one of the most fundamental elements of Judaism: God gave us the Torah to guide us to the most amazing life. That doesn’t just mean in the World to Come; He intends for our amazing life to begin here in physical world.

As I have discussed repeatedly in prior columns, anyone with even a basic understanding of what Shabbat is about will immediately see the incredible value and richness it adds to one’s life. The same goes for encouraging romantic relationships only when a person is truly capable of maintaining a serious commitment to another person. Of course one can focus on the restrictions, but nothing truly worthwhile comes without some sacrifice in other areas.

We find a very similar idea in this week’s Torah portion:

“See, I present before you today a blessing and a curse” (Deuteronomy 11:26).

Rabbi Chaim ibn Attar (1696-1743), author of the famous Ohr Hachaim commentary on the Torah, points out that the portion also begins in a very unusual manner: “See, I present before you today [...].” Why should the Torah use the word “see”? After all, there wasn’t anything to actually look at; it is merely an expression to try and get the people to focus on a concept. Usually the Torah employs the word “listen” or “hear” in such circumstances; why does the Torah deviate from the usual terminology?

The Talmud (Tamid 32a) asks, “Who is a wise man? One who sees what is already born.” Generally, this is understood to mean that a wise person sees what the future will bring; he can discern a situation and its consequences. However, if we read the passage more carefully, it actually tells us a great deal more.

A wise person doesn’t merely see what will happen; he essentially sees the future that is born right now. In other words, it doesn’t mean that he can predict what will be, but that he sees what is truly happening in the moment.

A good example of this would be the difference between Neville Chamberlain and Winston Churchill. Churchill raised the alarm in the mid 1930’s as to the dangers of Nazi Germany; well before Chamberlain made his disastrous attempt to appease Hitler. Churchill recognized many years prior that Nazi Germany was an evil threat.

Similarly, Moses is informing the Israelites that listening to the Almighty and following His mitzvot is the very blessing that God is promising. The connection to God is a blessing within itself; the blessing isn’t a conditional consequence of following the commandments.

That is why the Torah portion opens with the word “see.” Because God gave us the Torah in order for us to have the most amazing life in this world. Following the path that God has laid out for us in the Torah is a blessing that you can see right now, not a consequence to be realized at a later date. Moreover, that path is the ultimate intrinsic goal.

Re'eh, Deuteronomy 11:26 - 16:17

This week is a jam-packed portion. It begins with a choice: “I set before you a blessing and a curse. The blessing: if you obey the commandments of God […]; the curse if you do not […] and you follow other gods.”

The portion continues with rules and laws for the Land of Israel, primarily oriented towards staying away from idol worship and the other religions in the land. In verses 13:1-12 you will find the section that caused a missionary’s face to blanch and silenced him from continuing to proselytize a renowned rabbi.

One of the indications of the existence and necessity of the Oral Torah – an explanation and clarification (later redacted as the Talmud) of the written Torah (The Five Books of Moses) – comes from verse 12:21, “You will slaughter animals […] according to the manner I (God) have prescribed.” Nowhere in the Torah are we instructed in the manner of shechita, ritual slaughter. One might conclude that there was a very sloppy editor. Or one might conclude that there are additional teachings (the Oral Law/Talmud) clarifying and amplifying the written Word.

The source of the Chosen People concept is brought this week: “You are a nation consecrated to God your Lord. God has chosen you from all nations on the face of the earth to be His own special nation” (Deuteronomy 14:1-2). We are chosen for responsibility, not privilege – to act morally and to be a “light unto the nations.”

The portion then gives instructions regarding: permitted and forbidden foods, the Second Tithe, remissions of loans every 7 years, treatment of those in need (to be warm-hearted and open-handed), a Jewish bondsman, and the three pilgrimage festivals (Passover, Shavuot, Sukkot).