Real Success Requires Living in the Moment

“How long are you going to play music for?”

“Until I’m successful and then I’ll settle down.”

“But when is that?”

I didn’t really understand the question. “When is what?”

“When is success?”

Little does this person know, his question changed my entire life. I had never thought about what my underlying definition of success was, and after considering the question, I came to a startling conclusion: You can be successful at what you do and still fail at life.

The word success is a placeholder for something deeper. We’re all looking for something in life. It has many names including happiness, fulfilment, love, appreciation, and joy, to name a few. It’s behind everything we’re chasing. But all too often we’re chasing ghosts.

It’s not the thing we want. It’s not the time, the place, or position that we want. It’s not the money, the accomplishments, or any of the things on the surface. We’re looking for the feeling of “I’m good” or “Life’s good” that’s on the other side.

Think about it. Why do you want anything that you want? There is a feeling of goodness you believe you’ll get when you arrive at your desired destination. It’s the feeling of aliveness or joy you crave that you believe the new material object or relationship will give you. Everything we desire is really because we want to feel good about ourselves and about our life.

In Hebrew this is called Taanug or the Godly energy and spiritual joy that exists within all things. It’s this light that calls to our soul. The object of our desire tugging at our heart isn’t the goal – it’s the means to the deeper goal that we are after, that feeling of deep-seated pleasure and meaning.

Realizing this transforms spirituality from being an escape from "the real world" to being about accessing "the real world."

Instead of asking, “What do I need from the world to feel good?” ask, “Why don't I already feel good right now?”

We spend most of our lives trying to get somewhere and become something, but maybe we have the equation backwards. What if we could find the joy and love we truly desire right here, right now?

We suffer because we feel that this moment isn’t good enough. When we fully accept and embrace the moment we are in, we feel good. In essence, success is an inside job.

The Mishna teaches, “Do teshuva, repentance, the day before you die” (Ethics of the Fathers, 2:10). Obviously, we have no idea when we are going to leave this world. So, when are we supposed to do teshuva? It means do teshuva every day.

But if that’s true, wouldn’t it have been easier to just write, “Do teshuva every day”? Why write it in this strange manner, “the day before you die.”

The Piazetna Rebbe shares a life changing insight. The Mishna is teaching us that we have to live like there is no tomorrow. Make this moment all we have.

In fact, another Mishna teaches “If not now, when? Most people understand this to mean carpe diem – seize the day. But the deeper meaning is that if it’s not now, then when is it? There is always only the now. The past exists as a memory and the future has not arrived. The present moment is the only moment that exists.

The answer to what we truly want rests in our ability to live and love the present moment for everything it is. Success is living with that love, joy, and peace we seek to derive from any one person, place, or thing. That is available now.

Here are three practical ways to access this joy you’re already looking for:

1. Appreciate: One of the most underrated opportunities that we have at any given moment is to recognize how blessed we already are. There are an infinite number reasons to be grateful. Take a few minutes and bring to mind all the things you might be taking for granted, and remember nothing is a given.

2. Drop Expectations: One of the main reasons we find ourselves frustrated or upset in our lives is the expectations about life we carry around. There shouldn’t be any traffic today. She should already know how to clean up after herself. Doesn’t he know I don’t like it when he does that? All of these types of thoughts take us away from what is happening to a mental place of what I rather based on my preconceived notions of life. This will always lead to pain. Expectations are resentments waiting to happen.

3. Be Present: The present moment is ultimately the key to joy. If we find ourselves unhappy or worried, it’s because we are mentally giving too much attention to either the remembered past or imagined future. Spend this moment focusing on what’s happening right in front of you without giving additional attention to what’s going on in your head. Feel what your feet feel like. Place your attention on your hands and see if you can feel the buzzing feeling of circulation. Look outside and see all the colors of the world and just notice everything that is around you. The sounds, the array of life that is unfolding before you, relax, and breath.

Embrace the joy that is already here for you now and realize that you are the light at the end of the tunnel.