My Near Miss

I was on my way to pick up my grandchildren for a fun day in the park. As the light turned green, I crossed a large boulevard, excited to have time together with my little ones.

Looking out my window to the right, I could not comprehend what I was seeing. A car was hurtling towards me. He was speeding through the red light, straight into my passenger side.

“Oh my God!” I screamed.

I heard the crunch of colliding metal as the car crashed into me. My car swirled around and I felt myself being lifted above the ground. I don’t know how long it took for me to land on the other side of the boulevard, facing the opposite direction from which I had come.

There was a burning smell. The airbags had released. A voice called out from the speaker in my dashboard. “Hello? Are you okay? Do you require an ambulance?”

I had no idea. It felt surreal…as if I was watching the scene but this could not be possibly happening to me.

I opened my car door with trembling fingers and tried to stand.

“Hey!” someone shouted. “Are you all right? You spun around, three or four times. That was crazy!”

My legs were wobbly. I blinked in the sunlight. Thank You God, I am alive! No cuts or bruises. I didn’t hit another car, a pole or hydrant. How was that even possible? I called my husband to help me. The car was completely totaled. I was still processing, trying to get the words out as we spoke. I think I was speaking gibberish. Next, I called 911 and waited for the police to arrive. I could not even cry. It was too raw.

Hours later, I was still shaky. Tears would come and go. I was imagining all the “what ifs”, how jolting and painful they were.

I decided to go for a walk. I needed to feel my breath, the warmth of the sun, and the gentle breeze on my face.

Many thoughts came into my head. Scenes from my life. Hopes and dreams. Countless things I’d still like to do. The faces of those I love and care for.

Is there a person with whom I need to share my feelings, make peace with, or have a final conversation to create closure and harmony? Because if not now, when?

And then there was this jolt: Is there anyone in my life I need to call? Is there a person with whom I need to share my feelings, make peace with, or have a final conversation to create closure and harmony?

Because if not now, when?

Who knows what tomorrow may bring?

Though months have passed since the accident, I’m still holding onto the emotions of that day. Especially now as the High Holidays, a time for reflection and introspection, approaches.

First, the gratitude I have each morning and each evening as I take my first and last breaths of the day. Thank You God for my very life. It’s easy to forget that our time here is not to be taken for granted. Love is fragile. Time is limited. How easy it is to get lost in the mundane, sleep through life, and lose the music that makes our souls sing.

Sure, there are challenges and pain. We have suffered greatly this past year. But that makes our moments here more precious. The hug of a child, laughter with a friend, sharing dreams and even heartbreak with a partner brings us to a place of comfort. How awful to wake up one day with regret for all the time that has been wasted.

Before the shofar is blown on Rosh Hashanah a blessing is said. “Lishmoa Kol Shofar – to hear the sound of the shofar.” The wisdom is waiting for each of us to contemplate. It is not about blowing the shofar; it’s about being in the moment and listening to the sound that is surrounding you.

Do we hear the people in our lives? Do we listen with our hearts? Do we open ourselves up to the pain of our people?

There is incredible anguish and despair in the world. Our mission is to recognize the sounds of sorrow that surround us, and then ask ourselves: what can I do to make a difference?

When I walked out of my bashed-up car, my personal shofar was blowing.

We each have our own call of the shofar. The question is: are we listening?