Looking at Nails During Havdalah

The Aish Rabbi Replies

The custom you’re referring to is not primarily to cover your thumb but to look at your fingernails – by folding down your right hand over your thumb and looking at your fingers. The technical reason for this is that when the blessing is recited on the flame, we must be close enough to it for the light to be usable to us – more specifically, to enable us to distinguish between a local and foreign coin (see Talmud Brachot 53b). If we can look at our hands and see the difference between our skin and nails, then we can be assured we’d be able to distinguish between the rather distinct coins of different countries as well. (Of course, it’s harder to tell this today with the house’s electric lights burning. But if you’re reasonably close to a multi-wick Havdalah candle, it’s safe to assume you’re alright.)

There are also Kabbalistic reasons for this custom. One of the best-known ones is that since your fingernails are constantly growing, beginning your week by looking at them assures you will have a week of growth. Also, for Kabbalistic reasons, you should look at your palm – and specifically not look at your thumb. The best way to do this is as we described above – curling your fingers over your palm, with your thumb tucked in, and viewing both together. Many then open their hand up, signifying that light will penetrate the darkness. They also turn their hand around while opening it and look at their nails once more from behind. (It’s also brought down not to look at the inner side of your fingers at this time, only the side with the nails.) This is all done with the right hand (although some repeat the same motion with their left).

This also applies to the person making Havdalah. Before smelling the spices (besamim), he should move the cup of wine from his right hand to his left, hold the spices in his right, make the blessing on them, and smell them. He should then keep the cup in his left hand while he blesses the fire and looks at his nails. This way, he too will look at the nails on his right hand. Afterwards, he returns the cup to his right hand and concludes Havdalah.

There is also a question if to look at your nails before the blessing on the fire is recited or right after. The more common custom is to look at your nails only after the blessing is said, although even better is to look at your nails both times. (This is what I do, but I only do the motion of opening my hand and looking at the back of my hand after the blessing, not before.)

Lastly, there doesn't seem to be any source for the notion of holding the candle as high as you want your future spouse to be. I know someone who used to meticulously hold the family’s Havdalah candle at about 5’11” from the ground. I commented to her that considering that she was already well into her twenties, her future husband has most likely already reached his full height, and it’s hard to believe that holding the Havdalah candle at a specific height will make the slightest difference! (Thankfully, she is long happily married – though to a man somewhat shorter than her target height.)

(Sources: Shulchan Aruch O.C. 298:3; Be’er Heitev 4; Mishna Berurah 9-11; The Radiance of Shabbos, pp. 138-139.)