Kiddush – Sharing the Wine

The Aish Rabbi Replies

The reason for sharing the wine (or grape juice) is because the Sages recommend partaking in a “cup of blessing” (kos shel bracha) – i.e., a cup which had been used for a mitzvah. This shares the “blessing” with the other attendants. This is why typically after a person makes Kiddush, he will pour out some wine which will then be poured into smaller cups for others in attendance.

Kiddush wine should really be shared with everyone, not just the children. The reason only children are given the grape juice in synagogues today is because Kiddush must really be made where the meal (or at least some cake) will be eaten. Since no meal is eaten in the synagogue, the Kiddush recited there is not technically valid. Thus, grownups may not drink after hearing that Kiddush – not even the person who made the Kiddush – whereas children under the age of Bar Mitzvah, who are not obligated to wait for Kiddush, may. And that is what is commonly done. (This at least ensures that the blessing just recited on the grape juice was not made in vain.)

(The reason the custom exists to make Kiddush in synagogue Friday night, even though it’s not valid, is because in the olden days, paupers and travelers would be fed and housed in the local synagogue. Kiddush was made for them at the end of the Friday night prayers. In many places, the custom of making Kiddush has persisted although the need for it no longer exists.)

It is important to share the wine in the proper manner. The host should pour some wine out of his cup before he begins drinking himself. Not only is drinking from someone else’s cup repellent to many, but only pure wine should be shared. Once a person has drunk from it, the wine is considered pagum (literally, “flawed”), and not valid for Kiddush – and only valid wine confers a blessing when shared. Alternatively, the person who makes Kiddush can pass around his own cup after he drinks. Although that wine was drunk from already, since it is still in the original cup, it does not become pagum and may be shared.

If the host pours wine from his cup before he begins drinking, he should take care to only pour out a little bit – so that he still has the full required quantity of a revi’it in his cup even after pouring out. (See this past response regarding the required amount of wine.) If his cup is small and there are many guests, a common solution is to pour a quantity of wine from the bottle into a separate cup beforehand, and then pour a bit of the Kiddush wine into that cup before sharing it with others.

Lastly, the attendants should wait to drink the wine they received till after the host begins drinking himself. In fact, after pouring some wine out of his cup into a second cup, the host should drink right away before sharing the poured wine with others.

(Sources: Brachot 51a-b; Shulchan Aruch O.C. 271:14; Mishna Berurah 182:24, 271:51,71; Sha’ar HaTziyun 271:89; Shulchan Aruch HaRav 190:5; The Radiance of Shabbos, pp. 55-56.)