October 7^th Changed My Relationship with Judaism

“Jews Awakening” is a series of profiles about American Jews from various religious and cultural backgrounds who are strengthening their Jewish identity since October 7th.

For Suzy, 40, being Jewish has always been a choice. Raised in a mixed faith household, her parents sought to expose their children to a variety of religious holidays and traditions. They never “pushed” Judaism, but instead allowed their children to identify with whatever practices made sense to them. Judaism, she says, “just spoke to me.”

As Suzy grew older, she developed a “strong reform belief” grounded in shared values between modern Judaism and her own personal philosophies. The reform movement’s approach to things like diet, dress, and holidays – and particularly its treatment of women – resonated with the lifestyle she wanted to live.

It was like 9/11 all over again.

After getting married, Suzy joined a vibrant and inclusive reform temple in Western New York, where she developed a meaningful relationship with the Rabbi. Having a special connection motivated her to become more involved with Jewish life. During this more observant period of her life, she attended synagogue weekly and observed Shabbat regularly for a period of 4-5 years. However, eventually that ended.

When Suzy’s rabbi retired in 2014, he was replaced with a new rabbi whom she did not share a meaningful connection with, and her engagement consequently diminished. Weekly synagogue visits reduced to sporadic worship on the High Holy days; Suzy stopped lighting Shabbat candles. When a planned trip to Israel was canceled due to escalating regional tensions, she did not reschedule. Going to Israel felt like “an unattainable goal” when stacked against competing personal and professional priorities. During this time she remained supportive of Israel and connected to Jewish values, but her observance dwindled significantly. Then October 7^th happened.

“It was like 9/11 all over again,” she says about that day. The scope and severity of the attack took a few days to hit her, but when it finally did, she felt profoundly impacted. “I would be in business meetings and all I could think about were the hostages” she says. “I can’t tell you how deeply my heart breaks for the victims.” She is now attending synagogue regularly, lighting candles on every Shabbat, and continuing to pray for the hostages every day.

The attacks of October 7th were “devastating” and “a massive wakeup call” to her about the state of antisemitism. “I live in this flourishing Jewish community and I truly did not know antisemitism existed. Here and there were pockets, but I lived in this world where antisemitism didn’t exist.” Now, she sees the full extent of the problem: the double standard so many governments and organizations apply to Israel, the failure of American education institutions, and the cognitive dissonance of many pro-Palestine supporters who accuse Israel of committing genocide – especially those from younger generations.

Talking to people under 40 “is like talking to the twilight zone” she says. “These young kids don’t understand the Oslo Accords, they don’t understand what Arafat was offered over and over again and refused to take it. They don’t understand the history of Palestinians in Kuwait, in Lebanon, and in Jordan…” Among her many frustrations, she feels “indignant” about the short-sightedness of many pro-Palestine supporters who fail to see Hamas as a threat to the west – and to America.

Seeing Hamas’s brutality against women and children was shocking and horrifying, but it was the global reaction to October 7th that surprised her more than anything.

Seeing Hamas’s brutality against women and children was shocking and horrifying (she couldn’t bring herself to watch footage from the attacks), but it was the global reaction to October 7th that surprised her more than anything. The footage of people cheering on the slaughter of Jews “broke my heart into a million pieces” she says. “I thought I would be able to put it back together but my heart has been broken every day since then. I decided that I’m not going to put it back together — I’m going to fight.”

Despite the many risks, she feels compelled to speak up about rising antisemitism out of a sense of self-preservation. “Ninety years ago when the Nazis gradually scapegoated the Jews, people said nothing, and look where that got us. Never again is now. That means something to me.”

For Suzy, fighting involves writing weekly letters to U.S. legislators urging them to support Israel, making phone calls to politicians, and drafting emails. It’s important to her to call out people who are “wobbling” on Israel or making “ridiculous” statements – and equally important to thank celebrities and politicians who have publicly supported Israel at great cost to their reputation. Suzy’s operation is a highly organized one – she maintains a spreadsheet to track all of her outreach, and applies a strategic approach. “I know that Joe Biden isn’t sitting around reading my letters, but I also know that every communication goes into a scorecard. The more ticks you have over here versus over here, that’s going to influence the policy. I want to be a tick on the side for Israel.”

Suzy is also fighting with her pocketbook.

Suzy is also fighting with her pocketbook. This past holiday season, she purchased gifts exclusively from Israeli companies and replaced a recurring donation to the UN’s UNICEF program with American Friends of Magen David Adom. From now on, her charitable contributions are for pro-Israel organizations only.

In more subtle ways, October 7th has influenced her behavior at home as a parent to her five-year old daughter, and in her local community. She now makes a conscious effort to take her daughter to children's programs at their synagogue, and to include her in weekly Shabbat prayers, something her daughter has noticed. “I do the blessing with my daughter. This past Shabbat, I forgot and she asked, ‘Where’s my prayer?’”

Suzy cares deeply about supporting her local community amid rising antisemitism and is working to improve the relationship between secular and Orthodox communities, which she characterizes as “a bit awkward.” She now goes out of her way to chat with her Orthodox neighbors, even timing some of her walks on Shabbat to allow her to keep an eye on their safety. “I want them to know I will always be here for them and we’re in this together.”

For now, Suzy continues to “fight like tooth and nail.” She has still never been to Israel, but plans to go as soon as it is feasible. The events of October 7th have forever changed her relationship with Judaism.

“It was always important to me, but now it’s critically important - for me, for my identity, for my daughter.”