How to Practice Self-Love

One of the most well-known verses in the Bible is “love your neighbor as yourself.” The great sage Hillel said that this phrase encapsulates the entire Torah – the rest is just commentary.

People tend to focus on the first part of the verse – treating others with love and respect – and miss a crucial component: you can only love others if you love yourself. Self-love, having a heathy sense of self, is the pillar of all good relationships.

Feeling down about yourself or having low self-esteem greatly impacts how you treat other people. If you don’t like yourself, chances are you’ll have a tough time allowing yourself to be vulnerable in a relationship and take the risks involved in reaching out and giving to others. So many problems in today’s world can be traced back to people not loving themselves first.

Here are a few concrete ways to cultivate self-love in a healthy manner.

Compliment Yourself

Find something to compliment about yourself every day. If you struggle with self-love because you don’t like something physical about yourself, compliment what you do like, i.e. “I have a great smile” or “My nails look really good today.” Voice it out loud until you believe it. Once you start to love one thing about yourself, you will start to find other wonderful things to compliment.

Practice Gratitude

The first thing a Jew does when she wakes up in the morning is to recite the “Modeh Ani” prayer that thanks God for keeping her alive and enabling her to experience another day. The day starts with gratitude. If throughout the day you keep focusing on everything you are grateful for, you’ll start to see how many blessings and miracles you witness all the time.

If you’re having a bad day, start small and say, “At least I’m alive” or “I have food and shelter.” If you struggle with body image – for example, you get down about those last 10 pounds you want to lose – say, “I’m thankful that my body works.” Being grateful will uplift your mood and make self-love that much easier.

Talk to Yourself Like a Friend

When a friend comes to you and is struggling, do you turn them away? Do you tell them that they deserve the pain they are going through? Of course not! You’d tell them how much you love them and care about them. If it’s not okay to talk to a friend harshly, it’s not okay to talk to yourself that way either. When you’re thinking about all the problems you have with yourself, don’t respond in a negative way. Respond like a loving friend instead. Remember: people love you for you, and you can also love you for you.

Use Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations are simple but powerful ways to change your mindset and start loving yourself. Figure out an area you need to improve – perhaps with the help of a therapist – and then come up with a positive affirmation you can tie into it. For example, if you always put yourself down because you don’t work hard enough, say, “I am working as hard as I can and doing my best.” Write down your positive affirmation and say it in the morning when you wake up and when you go to bed at night. You will start your day off right and set yourself up for a better night sleep by being positive right before bed.

Take Care of Yourself

You may not love yourself, and then you act out by not treating yourself kindly. For instance, if you believe you’re lazy, you might stay up late working yourself to the bone instead of getting a good night’s sleep. It’s crucial to practice self-care because it goes hand in hand with self-love. Self-care doesn’t have to mean paying a bunch of money to go on a vacation or get your nails done. It could mean taking a walk in nature, reading a great book, journaling, or running a warm bath. Practicing good self-care habits will lead to more self-love.

By cultivating each of these ways to love yourself, you will appreciate your unique self and spread that love and kindness to others. These steps will not only make you feel better, they will also make the world a better, more loving place as well.