Vampire Weekend's Surprising Jewish Stories
5 min read
The NBA star’s controversial response conveys an important lesson about success.
There are so many areas in life where we’re not so clear where we stand. Does my boss think I'm doing a good job? Is my relationship with the person I'm dating doing well? Am I on track to fulfill my true dreams and aspirations?
Sometimes the answers are hard to determine. But sports gives us that rare opportunity to have total clarity on success or failure. Either my team wins or it loses. Either I accomplish my goal of beating my opponent or I come up short.
While this may be a reason why sports are so gratifying, it can also be simplistic. Is winning the game the only barometer of success? This was the big question being debated last week in the NBA.
Is winning the game the only barometer of success?
After a grueling 82-game season, the team with the best record in the Eastern Conference of the NBA was the Milwaukee Bucks, led by superstar and two-time MVP Giannis Antetokounmpo. Because of their top record, Milwaukee was slated to play the eighth place team in the first round of the playoffs, the Miami Heat. The Bucks were big time favorites. In fact, an eighth seed had beaten a number one seed only four times in NBA history, the last time happening in 2011.
In a real shocker, the Heat beat the Bucks, knocking them out of the playoffs in the first round. The hopes and dreams of the Bucks were dashed overnight. No playoff victory, no championship, no success.
And a lot of the blame lay on Antetokounmpo's shoulders. He’s the leader of the team. In the last game of the series, the most important game of the season, he missed 13 free throws – something unheard of.
After the game, a reporter asked Antetokounmpo if the season was a failure. To go 82 games to earn the top seed, and to have the hopes and dreams of the city of Milwaukee on your back, and to lose so badly in the first round of the playoffs – was that a failure? Seems pretty obvious.
But Antetokounmpo gave a startling answer.
"You asked me the same question last year, Eric," replied Antetokounmpo. "Okay. Do you get a promotion every year? On your job? No, right? So every year you work is a failure – yes or no? Every year you work, you work toward something. Toward a goal, right? Which is to get a promotion, to be able to take care of your family, to be able to, I don't know, provide the house for them or take care of your parents. You work toward a goal. It's not a failure. It's steps to success."
Antetokounmpo's response is filled with Jewish wisdom.
When Moses went to Pharaoh demanding that the Jewish People be freed from Egypt, things didn’t start out so well. Instead of being impressed by the miracles of Moses and his brother Aaron, Pharaoh not only doesn't let the Jewish People free, he implements stricter conditions for the Jewish slaves. As Moses and Aaron leave Pharaoah's palace, their fellow Jews yell at them, "May God look upon you and judge! For you have made our very scent abhorrent in the eyes of Pharaoh and the eyes of his servants."
Why would God command Moses to go to Pharaoh and make things worse?
Perhaps it is exactly this lesson that God wanted Moses and all generations after him to internalize. Not everything is going to work out exactly the way you want it – even when you’re sure you are doing the right thing. The question is – what are you going to do now? Are you going to be discouraged? Give up? Make excuses? Or do you have the fortitude to say "Okay, this didn't go as I planned – but my next step is what I can control. I'm going to stay positive and focused on my goal."
The outcome of our actions is almost always not within our control. But we can control our preparation and effort. In April 2020, my son Yehuda had his bar mitzvah. He had prepared for months. He had learned to chant his Torah portion, which was especially challenging since his bar mitzvah fell on a week with a double portion! He prepared a speech to deliver as the sermon in our synagogue. He was excited to celebrate his accomplishments with his friends and family, as his older two siblings had done before him.
The outcome of our actions is almost always not within our control. But we can control our preparation and effort.
And then Covid hit. Everything was shut down. No synagogue, no reading of the Torah portion, no speech, no celebration. Was it a failure? Of course not! He had put in all the preparation and effort. He had accomplished his goal – he just couldn't control the outcome.
If we can honestly look at ourselves in the mirror and say we have done our best – that is what defines success, not the outcome.
Many sports commentators and pundits condemned Antetokounmpo's comments. Didn’t he understand that sports are about winning? Why was he avoiding taking responsibility? What about all the fans he let down?
Antetokounmpo's message is that the best way to take responsibility is to maintain hope and belief. By finding the ability to be fueled by our disappointments to move forward and not to allow them to handcuff us from accomplishing our goals – that is the path to success.
Maybe life isn't supposed to be black and white. Maybe living a path of constant effort, struggle, determination, and dreaming will necessarily lead to coming up short and disappointment. But that doesn't mean it's a failure; it’s just as Antetokounmpo said: "a step to success".
