Focus On the Blessings

Moses uses the Hebrew word vaetchanan, which means to beseech, to ask God to let him into the land of Israel. Vaetchanan is derived from two Hebrew words: chein (to find favor) and chinam (free). It is interesting that Moses used this word, as there are other Hebrew words for prayer that are much more common. What can we learn from this interesting word?

Lesson:

As we pray, we are asking that God find favor (chein) in us and in our request, but even if not, God should please give it to us anyway as a free gift (chinam).

So many times when we pray, the one thing that we are praying for out shadows everything else we have in our lives. God has bestowed so many blessings, free gifts (chinam) in our life and it is important to keep focus of those. Eyesight, working arms and legs, are things we take for granted but are HUGE and invaluable gifts God grants us on a moment-to-moment basis. Look how blessed you are!

When we focus on the beautiful things God has bestowed us with, our attitude changes from one of entitlement to appreciation and gratitude. With this new perspective, we will find favor (chein) in God’s eyes and be blessed with what we are asking for.

Rabbi Shlomo Carlbach once said that there is nothing he could have done to merit his children. He is right – there is nothing we could have done to merit our children, as they are the biggest blessing that comes b’chinam, as a truly free gift. However, how often, unfortunately, do we hear parents complain about their children. “My child doesn’t listen, my child doesn’t go to sleep on time, etc.” While child rearing can sometimes be frustrating, are we allowing that one frustrating aspect out shadow the immensely huge gift of having our children? When we focus on the gifts that God has bestowed upon us, we become much more grateful people, finding more chein, favor, in God’s eyes, please God.

My five-year-old niece was so excited to tell me over the phone that she got something new. Her excitement was bubbling over, but I couldn’t make out exactly what she had just received. With the amount of emotion, I thought it was a toy or doll, but when I asked her to clarify she exclaimed, “A toothbrush!” If only we all shared the excitement of a five-year-old for new things, we would live much happier, grateful lives.

Exercise: Do not focus on frustration, but rather on the blessings in your life. During a frustrating experience focus on the blessing. Instead of focusing on the frustration your child is causing, focus on the blessing of having a child. Instead of focusing on the leak in your basement, focus on the blessing of having a house. Instead of focusing on your car’s broken air conditioner, focus on the blessing of having a car take you to where you need to go.