In this week’s Torah portion Jacob hears that Eisav, his wicked brother, is coming after him and “Jacob became very frightened”(32:8). Why would Jacob become frightened if God had previously told him that He would protect him in his journey back to Israel?

Famous Torah commentaries Da’as Zekeinim and Malbim offer a beautiful insight into why Jacob was scared. They suggest that Jacob recognized that he was scared and that itself scared him! The fact that Jacob felt scared even though God told Jacob that He would protect him reflected a lack of emunah, faith in God. The recognition of his lack of total trust in God is what scared him.

Other commentaries suggest that Jacob was scared because while God offered protection to Jacob, maybe Jacob had done something to lose the merit of being protected. We see that whether or not the fear was justified, it did propel Jacob to pray to God, and that God did indeed protect Jacob. What does all this mean?

Lesson:

Taken together, these ideas reflect feelings that are often ruminating in our own minds. God loves us, protects us, keeps us alive on a moment-to-moment basis and yet so much of our thoughts (and surely our subconscious mind) are occupied with fear, worry, and anxiety. God only wants to shower us with the best of everything, and keep us happy, healthy and safe. He brought us into existence and sustains us every moment. Why then do we have so many doubts and fears that are constantly running in the back of our minds?

Like Jacob, we often feel that perhaps we are not worthy of God’s protection. We think that we messed up, we sinned, we’re not being the best we can be, etc. and therefore we’re not worthy of God’s love and protection, God forbid. However, God’s love for us does not work that way. His love for us is not dependent upon us – it is only dependent upon God and His unbridled, unconditional, infinite love for us. There is nothing that we can or could do to disrupt that love.

Just as a parent does not love a child any less for failing an exam, God does not love us any less when we mess up. We are no less protected or loved by God when we pass our tests or when we do not.

When we recognize that God loves us and wants to protect us, and we cling strong to that belief, then no matter what situations we are faced with, we can confidently rely on God to help us. The knowledge that God loves us, is there for us, and that God wants to help us in every situation will help eliminate the fear in our minds and hearts. It will help us cling to God and give us the emunah, faith in God, necessary to guide us through even objectively scary situations.

We can learn from Jacob that while we embrace our human emotions, fear being one of them, we can combat it with the knowledge that God loves us more than our hearts have the capacity to love and nothing – not our sins or mistakes – can change that.

Exercise: Think of an area of your life or situation where you feel like you are on your own because of decisions that you made. Bring God into that space, ask Him for help and know He will help you because He loves you.