An Open Letter to University Presidents
4 min read
It isn’t helping you or anybody else.
When we heard the horrific news about what was happening in Israel, we were at shul and about to say the prayer for the welfare of Israel. The expressions on our faces went from shocked to terrified. We thought of our children who live in Israel. We thought of the hundred hostages, of the thousands injured and of the hundreds murdered. The urge to run home and check our phones was overwhelming. I wanted to know what was happening. I wanted to call my daughter and make sure she was okay. But it was Shabbat and then Yom Tov and I forced myself to stay in shul as the words of the prayer for the peace and safety of Israel filled the room.
I bowed my head, closed my eyes and cried. I knew that the most helpful thing I could do at that moment was not to hear about the latest details of the violent attacks. The most helpful thing I could do right then was to pray for Israel. Because while I couldn’t be there physically to help, I could reach out with my tears and my love. I knew without calling my daughter on the phone, that she would feel that love across the world.
As we continue to pray across the world now for Israel, many of us are also obsessively checking our phones for news updates several times a day. Some of us are watching the horrific videos and footage of the attacks. Maybe you feel like you need to know the latest updates to show that you care. Maybe you feel guilty for not knowing every detail of what is happening and not being in Israel to help. But losing yourself in endless scrolling on your phone isn’t helping you or anyone else.
Obsessively checking the news actually robs you of the spiritual and physical energy you need to be helpful.
Here are four ways you can limit checking your devices all day.
Your soul and the souls of all of our sisters and brothers under attack need a connection to God now more than ever. Don’t underestimate the power of your prayers. You can speak in your own words. You can cry if, like me, words are failing you at a time like this. But across the world, your prayers will be felt and appreciated.
You don’t need to know the details of the latest news report to speak up in support of Israel in your own community. Across America and the world, there are hate groups gathering to support Hamas. Your voice is needed to speak up for Israel wherever you are.
When you get caught in the cycle of news overload, your soul suffers from watching others suffer before you click to the next story. As a psychologist, I have seen clients click and watch their way into a depression from the deluge of hopelessness that they pour into their minds by obsessive watching of the news. Protect your own mind by limiting checking the news to two to three times a day.
If you have children, don’t recount and repeat horrific news that you are hearing. They don’t need to know the details of the hostage situation or the scope of the devastation. Many children can become traumatized just hearing such details. Instead look for ways to uplift those around you. Maybe you can send packages to Israeli soldiers or have your child write a letter to a soldier expressing solidarity and hope.
One of the ways in which news causes depression is by adding to our sense of helplessness in the face of an unfathomable tragedy. It places you in a passive, hopeless position to allow constant scary and negative images to flood your mind and your heart. There is so much we can all do to help each other right now. And one of the most powerful ways you can help is to stop checking the latest update on the war and to focus on how you be present and of service to others wherever you are at this moment.
I think of that moment in shul when I first heard the terrible news and didn’t have my phone to find out what happened. Those tears and prayers of that moment have stayed with me. You don’t need to know every detail of another person’s suffering in order to cry with them.
May God save Israel from this unbearable tragedy and help us each find a way to support and uplift each other.
They in Tel Aviv could have saved huge amounts of money, spared countless innocent lives, not to mention saved their own reputation and that of millions of innocent Jews just by launching an official criminal investigation and then apprehending the perpetrators of Oct 7 once found in order to bring them to proper criminal justice in a court of law. What has happened to the proper use of the means of justice, civil justice in the name of conserving liberty and life?? It has become next to redundant in the place that was sadly re-named "the State of Israel" after 1948. There is no longer any interest in using a proper court of law to convict serial murderers??? Instead they prefer to go bomb whole swathes of one city with the excuse that the murderers are hiding there! How stupid can u get!?
Great advice, and while i have done many of the above mentioned tools, I would love and appreciate a follow up article on managing pre-exisiting mental health issues and/or supporting those we love who have mood disorders etc., on top of doing our best to manage the ongoing grief and trauma of the war. Continuining ongoing therapy, etc of course, but it is certainly tricky & I know I am not alone in this particular situation. It is important that we remain healthy in every way possible, not just for ourselves, but for one another--but I ask myself how?
Thank you.
Of course, pray! But I wonder why the author didn’t stress the need to donate to Israeli organizations?
I’ve made a promise to donate $ to Israel 1x a week during this war - who will join me in this challenge?
#onceaweekforisrael
What is a good address or phone number where i can send money to Israel to help?
Prayers are critical, but so are donations! Please - everyone who is able - donate funds to help Israel now!!!!!!
I had to take this advice because I was becoming depressed and hopeless. I still catch up during the day but avoid the emails and videos I get from well meaning friends and family. I pray and will now sign up as I am a nurse and I know my skills are needed. Am Yisrael Chai!!!
"Pray instead"??? How about enlist instead. The past and continuing efforts by the religious parties to obtain deferments for yeshiva students has been and continues to be an outrage.Enlist or leave Israel and go back to Brooklyn.
yes, pray! When we realize its not our might and strategies that save us, but rather the hand of G-d, then we will be saved. Those who are fighting are doing their part , those who are praying and making sure Torah learning doesn't cease are doing their part as well. If not for those praying, those fighting have no chance.
I agree. But not everyone can enlist. Do what you can
In this crisis many Yeshiva boys have volunteered as drivers or other such tasks to free trained soldiers for fighting.
Seriously? Shld we assume you messaged that from the front lines? Exactly how many family members have You sent off to fight hamas? I don't think right now comments like the one you posted will promote unity or help anyone. Know your place, donate what you can,assist wherever possible,then keep mouth Shut.
Is the Israel military taking new recruits, or just calling on reservists?
are you actively fighting in the army? have you ever actively fought in the army? most of the civilians I know who have or are actively fighting in the Israeli army will tell you that it is all about G-d fighting the wars, nothing to do with the soldiers on the frontlines.
Wrong - our Torah learning is protecting Israel!!!
Thank you
On one hand I need to know
On the other hand, I know enough already
Now I need to take action to help
❤️