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Six evidence-based ways to grow from life’s challenges.
In the early days of Sasha Troufanov’s release from Gaza, people kept talking about going back to who he was before. He shook his head. His life before captivity now was an impossibility.
He wasn’t being dramatic. He was simply affirming that life, both the good and the heartbreaking, changes us. We can’t return to who we were in the past. Instead, we must incorporate new experiences into our lives – even the difficult ones – and move toward the fullest and truest version of ourselves.
Such movement is rarely linear. So, how do we go about doing it?
Here are six research-based ways to encourage personal growth.1
Authenticity isn’t about reinventing yourself or making sweeping changes. It’s about paying attention to the small moments when you notice: “This feels right for me” or “This doesn’t fit anymore.”
Psychologists call this congruence2, when your inner experience and your outer choices are aligned. When they aren’t, life feels slightly off and somewhat uncomfortable.
The first words God said to Abraham were, “Lech lecha – go toward yourself.”
Don’t move toward who you used to be or who others expect you to be. Move toward who you are becoming now.
How to practice this: Perform one small action today that feels true to you.
Openness doesn’t mean loving uncertainty or seeking out dramatic change. Most people prefer predictability.
Instead, it’s about being open to new experiences and being flexible enough to explore positive change.
Research shows that openness is closely linked to growth and adaptation.3 It expands the range of possibilities available to us.
How to encourage this: Say yes to one small new experience this week.
Creativity isn’t limited to painting or poetry. It’s about finding small, personal ways to express what’s happening inside you.
Psychology shows that creative expression helps you process experiences, especially complicated ones, and gives you a sense of movement when life feels stuck.4
How to express this: Choose one small creative outlet this week, such as writing without editing for 5 minutes.
Values-based action is making choices that reflect your values, even when the path ahead feels uncertain.5
When you’re clear on what matters most to you, you don’t need a perfect plan. You only need to take the next step in the direction that aligns with who you want to be.
How to express this: Identify one of your values and commit to a small action that reflects it. For example, if you value learning, set aside ten minutes to read or listen to something meaningful.
Personal growth isn’t about perfection. It’s about accepting that both your strengths and your struggles belong to you — and that each one has something to teach you.
Self‑acceptance means recognizing your inner worth, regardless of your achievements, mistakes, or anyone else’s opinion.6 It also means acknowledging “what is true” in this moment, which is necessary before positive change can happen.
How to engage in this: Identify a feeling, thought, or impulse you tend to dismiss, and acknowledge it without letting it take over. Then ask yourself: “How is this part of me trying to protect me?”
Perhaps the greatest catalyst for growth lies beyond the self. Kindness and compassion pull your attention outward, toward other people and toward the possibility that you can make the world a better place.1
Acts of kindness are central to Jewish life. You grow not only for your own sake, but to bring more light, caring, and goodness into the world.
How to practice this: Choose one small act this week that brings goodness to someone else, such as a message of support, a warm meal, or a helping hand.
While you can’t return to your former self, you can grow toward a truer version of who you are meant to be. By practicing these small and steady shifts, you can acknowledge where you’ve been, while making space for who you’re becoming.
